THE BLOG
06/20/2014 01:04 pm ET | Updated Aug 20, 2014

Jeremy Meeks: He'll Steal Your Heart and Your DVD Player

ASSOCIATED PRESS

The internets are abuzz today about the "sexy mugshot." Surprisingly it's a man. When I first saw the headline, I was sure it would be some scantily clad meth head chick with good hair or something.

Instead, I clicked the link and I immediately fell down into the deep blue wells that are Jeremy Meeks' eyes. Be strong, Jen! I thought. This guy is a dangerous felon, and it's not just his chiseled cheekbones that make him wanted.

I wasn't the only one seduced by Jeremy's soft, full lips. There are over 15,000 comments on the Stockton Police Department's Facebook page that say things like "Is it illegal to be that sexy?" and "He got arrested for stealing the hearts of ladies!"

Hold on a second. What am I doing? Yes, he's a good-looking guy with eyes like tide pools that suck you in and you want to wipe that sad little tear from his face, but you can't because he's permanently sad. BUT don't fall for his pretty face! Sure, sure, he might be innocent this time, but he's a convicted felon. This time he was arrested because the Stockton Police Department is trying to crack down on the recent shootings and robberies in the area.

Jeremy Meeks is a convicted felon who was arrested on felony weapons charges. He had a gun illegally. Sure, even the thought of him holding his gun is kind of hot. But then I imagine him holding it sideways and saying "Sayonara!" before he blows my head off! This guy is no good. He's a REAL bad boy, not like the ones you read about in your books. Notice how quickly everyone jumps to the defense of Jeremy. He must be innocent until proven guilty, because he's HOT. What about the three other guys arrested with him? No one is claiming they must be innocent too. The second most liked photo in the line up is another fairly good-looking young man with squinty bedroom eyes. The least likes? The old man. WTF, America? Why do we constantly let good-looking people get away with murder? If this guy was missing teeth and had bugged out eyes no one would give him another thought. They'd lock him up and throw away the key. There wouldn't be an ounce of hesitation. But when the guy looks like a criminal from central casting, everyone sits up and takes notice. The newspapers put him on the front page, and the women of America (and a few gay guys who are hoping prison turns Jeremy) vomit compliments and clamor to be his number one fan.

How sad is it that Jeremy Meeks is getting all the attention on the Stockton Police Department's Facebook page when just yesterday they buried one of their fellow officers? Did Officer Scott Hewell's memorial service get over 52,000 likes and 15,000 comments. Nope. It got 390 likes.

There is a GoFundMe site that has been created for Jeremy to help him raise his $900,000 bail money. Did the old guy get a GoFundMe account too? I doubt it. What about the family of Officer Hewell?

I don't think Jeremy needs to worry about his GoFundMe account. The way women across the world are wetting themselves to line up to compliment his steely blue eyes tells me that Lifetime, TLC and Bravo aren't far behind with a TV contract for this guy. Coming to cable TV next fall: America's Next Top Model: Big House Babes or America's Most Wanted -- In My Bed.

Find me on Facebook and Twitter.

I don't have a GoFundMe to raise bail money, but I've got some books I'm selling to feed my kids. If you bought one or two of those, I could send you a picture of my milky blue eyes.

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