As the clock strikes midnight this New Year;s Eve, bringing us into 2013, there are some things -- be it trends or cultural phenomenons -- that we have picked up along the way that I would like like us to leave in 2012. In 2013, let's resolve, if possible, to no longer do the following:
1) Let's stop taking pictures of our food. For some reason, people now feel the need to document every meal they have. Even their coffee. How many pictures have you seen of cappuccino with a heart in the foam? Maybe you have seen pictures of oysters, a dish of roasted winter vegetables, maybe something wrapped in bacon. First of all, usually we can't tell what it's a picture of. The picture looks like a jumbled mess of olive oil and multi-colored mush. On Thanksgiving this year, there were so many turkey pictures on Instagram, I was actually full before I even got to my meal. I also can't be certain that my Instagram feed didn't make me fat this holiday season. Whatever you are eating, we trust you. You eat. That's how you are still alive and we are able to follow you on Instagram in the first place. So let's not with the food pictures.
2) While we are on the topic of pictures, let's maybe simmer down just a tad with the cocktail pictures. Every night a mobile upload of a different color cocktail. We get it. You are a drunk. We are proud of you. Or we'd like to get you help. Either way, in the New Year, maybe keep that secret to yourself like in the olden days when people would drink out of a detachable cane handle that doubled as a flask.
3) Let's remove ads on YouTube that let you know you will be able to skip the ad in four seconds. I have a serious question for advertisers: How many people do you think opt to sit through the entire ad? How many people say, "You know what? I know I have the option of skipping this ad about who knows what since I'm not paying attention cause I am just waiting for my video to start, but I think I am going to stick with it for the long haul." You are kidding yourself advertisers. No one is opting to not skip the ad. Unless they had to run into the other room for a second. Or they fell unconscious. So let's drop the whole "people watch the entire ad" charade in 2013 shall we?
4) Let's stop talking about Homeland like we are living it. It's a great show. An excellent show. People love it. People talk about it excessively. People I know who don't even use Facebook, go on Facebook just to post status updates on Homeland as though they are being personally affected by the story line. "Oh, Homeland, you are KILLING me." Are they killing you? Really? Or are they killing people on the show? Homeland writers, you did good. Really. A home run. But fans, maybe in 2013 you may want to talk about the show like you aren't in it. Just saying.
5) To the people that don't know what Spotify is and refuse to try it for free, which you should because it's only the best thing ever, maybe we should leave you in 2012. If you are going to spite yourself of modern technology that will literally change your life, then no jumping into the New Year for you. You can stay right where you are.
6) I can't believe I am going to say this... but... we should bring "Call Me Maybe" into 2013. I am admitting this to the world, or the Internet, or at least to the readers of Huffington Post.. .but I just love that song and I'm not ready to let it go.
7) What's with these?
Let's leave these in 2012. And why are people wearing creepy Victorian clothes in the pictures? What's the story with that?
8) Mitt Romney. I mean, of course Mitt. Of course you can come into 2013. It would be rude to just leave you in 2012. I am sure you are a good guy, and you put up a great fight. But, unfortunately, we are going to have to leave your dream of being president in 2012.
9) Harem pants. They didn't look good on MC Hammer in 1990 so why on earth would people think they would look good now. Why is that a trend we are re-visiting? Let's not take that into the New Year. Deal?
10) Let's address the new term "food porn" for a second. Food porn is not porn. Porn is porn and food is food. People have taken foodie-ness to a whole new level. So much so that apparently, it's now considered porn. I love food and I love good food. But it's food. In 2013 let's not compare food to porn. Unless of course, that's one of your fetishes. Then who am I to judge.
Have a great New Year everyone! I, for one, can't wait to see what new trends develop in 2013!