My husband is a great father and deserves all the praise he gets, so I don't want this to sound like I am complaining about him or any of the other great dads out there.
That being said, it is obnoxious watching him get praise and waited on when he does things on his own with the kids. I don't frequently travel without my children. Mainly because of my husband's work schedule, but also because I get anxiety from being too far away from the kids. The anxiety manifests in the days leading up to my vacation. I make sure all of the laundry is caught up, orchestrate sitters to coincide with my husband's work schedule and rides to/from daycare. I go grocery shopping so they have plenty of fruit, snacks, and kid-friendly meals. I even pre-pack lunches in the refrigerator for daycare. I create an itinerary for the entire time that I will be away (even though it's not needed or utilized).
Mind you, my husband is a grown-ass man and is more than capable of doing all of these things on his own, but I feel guilty for getting time away and want to make it as easy as possible for him (so that I can do it again next year without resistance). Basically, I will be gone for 3-4 days and he is only responsible for the kids for one full day of that time. I have done it. Everyone is taken care of, and I can relax.
Of course, I should feel grateful for any additional blessings that my husband and kids receive in addition, but I don't. I feel annoyed. It never fails, the one time a year when I take a weekend trip by myself for a girls weekend, or to visit my family back in Minnesota; the help comes out of the woodwork. When people find out that I am leaving town, they are shocked." He is going to watch all three kids by himself?!" Well, yes, last time I checked; we had three children, so I hope he watches all three.
Then they offer to drop off dinner. Really?! I like lasagna. Where's my freakin' lasagna? I only manage to get a home-made dinner on the table about three times a week, so obviously I need help. Yet, in five years; you have never offered to drop off dinner for me. "I will watch the kids for a few hours so you can go out and have a break." Are you effing kidding me?! No. He will not be going out. This is his time to realize how much I do, and spend quality time with his children so that he can worship the ground I walk on upon my return. Thanks anyway.
I will take this moment to comment on all of the men and people who refer to men as "babysitting," while they are responsible for their own children. They are not getting an hourly wage. They do not get to leave when mom returns. They are parents; not babysitters. Thank you.
While I'm away, I see Facebook pictures of him and the kids at the local pizza joint, roasting marshmallows by the campfire, playing at the park, etc. It warms my heart and I think to myself, "I am so blessed to be married to such a good man, and to have those beautiful boys with him." Then I start seeing all of the comments from others praising him for being such a good father. I agree with all of the positive comments, but am still irritated. No one pats ol' mom on the back for taking the kids out to eat or to the park. I take three boys (5 and under) grocery shopping, and do the self check out. Do I get praise? No. Not even a single bystander to offer help or to take my cart after unloading groceries.
If a mother doesn't have the kids looking like Baby Gap, with organic, whole-grain muffins in the oven, she is looked at as being sub-par. Society needs to reset their standard on what a father should be doing. Not praising them for doing what they should be doing, because apparently; if you are not a douche bag, you deserve a medal.