A lot of very eloquent things have been said and written in the mainstream press and within feminist forums both critiquing and defending Sheryl Sandberg's important new book, Lean In. It's not my intention to rehash those points, but rather to expound upon why I think this particular book, from this particular author, at this particular moment in time, has inspired such passionate opinions on both sides. Further, I am more interested in how we can move forward as a community towards real equality, positively and with purpose.
The most obvious reason for the buzz, of course, is that Sandberg has tapped into a very real frustration amongst American women: the inability to grasp the equality which has felt within reach for years, the equality we have been told is ours for the taking. But of course, we quickly learn that in the real world, we're not quite there -- it lies just beyond our grasp, visible through the glass ceiling above us. And, on the occasion when someone like Sandberg achieves success in this inherently imbalanced system, we are excited to hear from her and learn from her. How did she do it? Can I do it, too? In Lean In, she certainly gives some courageous advice as to how we might join her at the peak of the mountain.
So, why does Sandberg's message frustrate so many and inspire others? Perhaps some feel that they don't have the means or opportunities to implement this advice, given their financial situations and responsibilities of caring for young children or aging parents and relatives -- some of our most vulnerable citizens. Perhaps they are in such survival mode or in such sexist industries that they can't even fathom next steps.
Here is the crux: Why lean into a system that is fundamentally broken? By pushing ourselves to succeed within this patriarchal world that has been created without our participation, aren't we upholding its pillars of inequality? Truth is, many feel as if we should rush in and bring the whole place down instead -- rebuild it from the ground up as something more equitable, more collaborative, less hierarchical and more "win-win" oriented. Perhaps some of us are more interested in creating businesses with more "feminine" attributes like caring for the planet, our nations' health and well-being and educating our nations' youth. Perhaps we see less value in amassing extreme power and wealth, and more in leaving our world in a better place than where we found it.
So, this message of leaning into financial and social success in the modern world rings hollow for some; shortsighted. Yet it's important that we not use our angst and frustration with the status quo to shoot the messenger. In fact, Sandberg should be applauded for using her brains, platform and privilege to bring this conversation -- which has existed at the margins for decades -- to the forefront of international conversation in a way that few have done before her.
The sometimes critical reaction to Sandberg -- a women in power sharing her opinion -- is in fact proof that these problems are deeply ingrained and hard-to-solve. It has also shone a light on the myriad of class and race issues embedded in most conversations about women's rights.
What's the lesson here? If you feel Lean In excludes a certain segment of the female population, it has at least contributed to a national and international dialogue reminding us how vast the problem really is. While we as a gender need to push harder and further to ensure our own personal success, we need to tackle the social, political and economic barriers that hinder that success -- however subtle -- as a group, as well as individually. We need to look at the big picture. And, we aren't going to make much progress if men aren't taking a look as well.
The systemic gender inequality in America isn't just holding women back -- it's holding us all back from experiencing a more inclusive, prosperous and peaceful way of life. By continuing to devalue "feminine" qualities, we are missing out on championing more empathic and consensus-building leaders of all genders. Hence, we must find a way to shift our entire perspective on these issues, and we must do so immediately.
Let's leverage Sheryl Sandberg's success and courage to ensure this doesn't become a fringe debate again, but remains a central issue for all Americans (and global citizens) to solve in the 21st century.