Bristol Palin Got Pregnant So You Don't Have To

Don't have sex. That's the message some groups insist on pushing to the young and/or unwed. Don't have sex. That's it. No guidance about birth control. No information about how to protect oneself against STDs. Just don't have sex. And now the abstinence movement has a brand new Barbie to push their fruitless agenda - Bristol Palin. I don't know why I'm surprised. It's the perfect lemons to lemonade story. "I got pregnant so you don't have to." Argh.

These days the "just say no" maniacs do need an infusion of some sort since Obama just recently hacked away at two $100 million abstinence only programs from the George W. Bush-era. In their place, he's offering up $110 million for comprehensive "teen pregnancy prevention." In other words, real sex education. It's so obvious. The forbidden is enticing. Think Adam and Eve, Bluebeard, or, how about Prohibition? Ring any bells?

Don't get me wrong. I don't necessarily think teenagers are ready to have sex. But I know that they DO have sex. And if they're going to do it, I want them to have the whole story - from soup to nuts. (Pun intended.) And I think Bristol Palin is sort of a strange pick. For one, she said that preaching abstinence is "not realistic at all" in her very first post-pregnancy interview and now is back peddling at an alarming rate. Uh, guys, is this really who you want as your poster child?

Meanwhile, she's telling young people that pregnancy isn't "glamorous" while we watch her all dolled up and preening for the media. Really? Looks pretty damn glamorous from here. I know. I know. It's because she's Palin daughter that she's getting the attention. But would she still be news if she hadn't been knocked up? She needed a story. Now she has one. Aside from accidental pregnancy, a sense of being needed or valued is one of the primary reasons teenagers get pregnant. She's a statistic, not a role model.

We need to talk about sex more, not less. At school, at the doctor, at home. Wherever young people are seeking information. We need to talk about masturbation. We need to talk about foreplay. We need to get sex out of the dark because that's where things fester. If we tell kids the truth about sex -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- then they won't feel the need to engage in it simply to find out what all the fuss is about. And if they still chose to do it, at least they can do it safely.

It's nuts. Sex happens. And all the promise rings and purity balls in the world aren't going to stop it. Only one question remains -- is the next generation going to do it safely or not?

Comments

[socalcde]

Actually, I think that Bristol is the perfect spokesperson for abstinence at this point in her life, because at her age with a new baby, she probably won't be having sex for quite sometime. Maybe she should promote having sex until you get pregnant, then be abstinent.

[oldgeek1]

They had sex, she got pregnant, he did not love her, she is now a single mom with a baby almost the same age as her youngest brother. Her boyfriend has no job, cannot provide child support, and she is unemployed herself. No this is not a story about a girl in the inner city of a major state, nor an immigrant or person of color. If she were, the Republicans would be singing a different tune.

I guess Sarah and Todd just added to their family and you can be these off spring will be listed as dependents on their tax returns.

[BitterClinger15301]

Why are those on the left so fixated on Sarah Palin and her family? Every time some little tidbit of info (true or false) comes out about one of the Palins or her daughter's boyfriend, it is near the top of this internet cesspool. There is really something disturbing about this.

[spiritpony1]

excuse me, SHE is the one going PUBLIC----­-hello----­---

[1088]

In my opinion she is saying, "see what will happen if you choose absentee".

[DSOTM]

Sarah Palin is living in a fantasy world, why is it so hard to except the fact that girls who are educated about sex are more likely not to have sex until they are ready.

Holland has the most extensive sex ed program in all of Europe, kids are taught at a very young age. They also have the lowest teen pregnancy rate, the lowest rate of STD's amongst teens and most kids lose their virginity later than their US counterparts, but no, we don't want to educate our children, Jesus will tell them to do the right thing.

[Ginnie20886]

Of course the answer is access to good sex ed . . . but what I see is an added irony in the teaching of abstinence.

While the families of these girls may be angry and disappointed, and the girls ashamed and scared, once the baby is born, everything changes. Note that Matt Lauer quietly and respectfully asked Bristol whether having the baby was a mistake, after a conversation about how difficult young parenting is. She looked at the baby lovingly, and said ' oh NO, he is a blessing. "

So now a young girl has huge responsibilities and may have to drop out of school -- or at least cut her educational and career goals short for awhile -- but having this child has become a "blessing." The bad judgment, the lack of adherence to abstinence is seemingly forgiven.

This is the fundamentalist way of thinking and, as the New Yorker wrote about months ago, it is contributing to a much lower standard of education for young women affected by this trend.

If unexpected pregnanancy eventually becomes a blessing, the serious ramifications of teen pregnancy get blurry. Who wouldn't want more blessings in their life, even if they require work and sacrifice??

[ProgressiveVoice]

Haven't you noticed the unwanted pregnancy-blessing connection before now? In the same minds that can somehow perceive an accidental pregnancy, regardless of the mother's age or social status, as some kind of "just desserts" for committing a "sin", a baby is a wonderful gift from god.

It's societal, a survival strategy - can you imagine the press if Bristol HAD said to Matt Lauer "Yes, Matt, it was a huge mistake to have a baby."? Can you imagine anyone's reaction to a mother making a comment like that? I've had friends who have had babies as teens or living in poverty (or both - they do tend to be connected!) and have asked most of them that question. You have to ask while making it very clear that the answer in no way reflects on your opinion of her mothering - and even then, most will deny it was a mistake, albeit with great hesitation.

As Ms Block says, we need to talk about sex MORE, not less. A child growing up today is bombarded by sexual images. That alone demands we offer more sex education, to put those messages into perspective. Notice Lauer asks about having a baby, an act or event, yet Palin answers with "HE'S a blessing". If we aren't talking about sex and the consequences, we can't do anything to break the connection or at least acknowledge the difference.

[Glenn1441]

Brilliant headline, Ms. Block -- it succinctly and perfectly conveys the mixed messages that Palin and her like continue to communicate.

However, I am dismayed to see that you refer to Bristol Palin as a 'Barbie.'

I could not disagree more with Bristol's message, or her mother's socio-political agenda (if Sarah Palin in fact has one), but I don't believe this teenager is a vapid, plastic facsimile of a young woman, which is what use of the pop-term 'Barbie' conveys. Misguided, yes. Vapid or plastic, no.

Moreover -- and I confess to splitting hairs here -- considering that Barbie never married her vinyl beau Ken, and has 'fulfilled' more than 100-different careers --- including presidential candidate and, as early as 1965, astronaut -- I have always found it difficult to believe this iconic toy has been as dangerous to the development of young women as its critics have claimed for so many years.

Anyone remotely interested in learning more about the origins of this iconic doll can do so simply by searching 'Ruth Handler' on the Web.

Again, I confess to splitting hairs...

[weatherwaxx]

Bristol Palin got pregnant because her horndog boyfriend was too stupid to use a condom.

Mummy and Daddy were too busy trying to secede from the USA and/or get into the White House to supervise their kids. Letting boyfriend have a sleepover? What, you WANT grandkids? Or just a nice big guilt handle on your daughter?

I feel sorry for all the kids in that family--and now the grandkids.

Where are Children's Services when you really need them?

[LeftisBetter]

Sorry but it wasn't just the boyfriend that didn't know how to use a condom, it was BOTH of them.

[midwestwriter]

When it comes to sex teenagers need information not directives. The more we make sex this mysterious thing, the more we encourage them to find out the hard way. Unfortunately, the hard way often ruins their lives.

[WonderingImriel]

I suspect her back pedaling is 3 things.

1-The aforementioned paycheck
2-Mommy needs her image spiffed up with her approval ratings dropping and her national image becoming one of absolute ridicule. Sarah is out of touch enough to think this will actually lift her rather than further sink her.
3-The very real realization that the baby daddy is as much of a loser as the nation was joking about during the campaign. Her teen age dreams of a home life shattered. She is indeed living the very real consequences of teen pregnancy and so may have genuinely changed her mind. Still being a teenager and being a Palin, she is unfortunately inclined for the overly simplistic and therefor misguided argument of abstinence.

[Goddatunda]

Real consequences? I must disagree.

Real consequences, in this situation, are for single pregnant mothers who don't have rich families to hire nannies and pay for food, clothing, shelter and education.

Bristol can do whatever she wants - she's covered.

Yet another reason why she has no business speaking for those who don't have her advantages.

(I realize the Palins aren't super rich, but they ARE millionaires)

[Aaror]

OK, lets get science involved:
It is now known that the reason boys and girls sex-identify and segregate by sex at 6 is so that when they end that stage at puberty it ensures a high degree of unfamiliarity with the opposite sex. To put it another way, we are hard wired to not know about the other sex, and to be extremely curious.
The reason for this curiosity is to induce experimentation, so we are hard wired to find out about sex by practice.
Of course, all this hard wired behavior can be short circuited by eliminating the induced unfamiliarity!

What does this mean to a parent? Well, if you talk about sex early and often (starting at least before they get interested, when it is "yucky"), your kids will be less likely to have sex, and less likely to have unsafe sex (the two do go hand in hand, sorry bible thumpers).
My wife and I used this strategy, and have a 15 year old male who is not really interested in girls yet, he has a girlfriend online, but that is it.

The forbidden has a special draw, curiousity encourages experimentation, it doesn't surprise me that the Sarah Palins of the world have pregnant teens.

[helpontheway]

i really enjoyed reading your thoughtful post.

[NavyMom]

It's disturbing how the media is so willing to glamourize teen motherhood. Show a famous young girl, dolled up in nice clothes and makeup-not a speck of spit up on her, with cute alarmingly passive baby on her lap. This is not a realistic picture, folks! And travelling to the drug store for diapers was a major treat for me when I had young baby; flying to NYC would have been a fantasy.

[dennissinned]

From Salt N Pepa:
Let's talk about sex baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be

[grammypbw]

The reason she is promoting abstinence may have something to do with a paycheck. I haven't seen this mentioned anywhere and presume she is.... Not bad for an unwed teenage mother, not much else out there in the way of financial support for this demographic. There are many other young mothers who could probably present a depressingly accurate view of young motherhood, have little family support and could use whatever financial support the abstinence folks could offer.

[loria]

That was my thought too. I wondered what the chances were that the Right would use an inner city, single minority girl from a low income family to promote abstinence only education. I can't picture it.

[PaleMail]

I take it that Bristol Palin will now abstain from having sex until her wedding night. Ha!

[weatherwaxx]

You think Mummy will give her a chance to have another boyfriend? Hah!

[ProgressiveVoice]

You think Mummy didn't put her on birth control?