To My Darling Daughters and All the Girls of the World

Don't apologize for your edge or your curves, your sharpness or your softness, your sass or your sweetness. You came here to write your own rules, not the ones your mother passed down to you.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

As a woman, don't apologize for your edge or your curves, your sharpness or your softness, your sass or your sweetness. You came here to write your own rules, not the ones your mother passed down to you. Each generation of women creates a freedom by being herself. We have to value freedom and choice to do things on our own terms, rather than have the world dictate them for us. Define yourself or others will, locking you into a role, a misperception, a stereotype, a misconception, instead of a whole person. You'll be like a photoshopped woman in a magazine instead of a real-life woman with emotions and feelings, who makes her so-called "flaws" part of her dynamic character. A woman who gets angry, makes mistakes, has secrets and is not afraid that she won't be accepted/approved of/validated all the time. No more fake business. It's time to be real. It's time to be authentic, however messy that may be. This is what we came here for. A journey, an adventure -- it's not dress rehearsal. Don't wait until the end, to be bold enough to come unleashed.

The days of living for everyone else are over, scared to breathe or take in too much air -- or exhale for that matter. Afraid of being too loud. Holding your breath for fear of taking up too much space with your existence will not make others thrive any more because you are going without. Don't become the martyr, full of resentment and judgement when she sees a woman who dares too much. The competition of who can sacrifice themselves and contain themselves enough to not be the wild girl they were, when they felt most alive in their youth, is not one you need to enter. Don't grow up and think she has to die. That fierce gal who wants, who has distinct likes and loves, independent from what her pack says. You do not need to melt into the herd to be loved. You will be respected when you are true to yourself. Your family, friends, coworkers and community may not always appreciate a woman who has stepped into her power, one who has escaped the prison of perfection, personas, ideas and ideals that were given to her, unwelcome from the past, from our culture, or from the media. But you will create change within yourself that will have a ripple effect on your sisters of the world.

Personal freedom is truly living. The freedom is always worth it, no matter how many feathers are ruffled. You girls are to become your own people, not anyone else's idea, including your parents. All children should be encouraged to not believe in the mish-mash of wounds of their family's past generation, the scraps of their regret, their wishes for themselves they glue together to form a plan for lives of the next generation, forcing it upon them. As if we, as people, always know better when we are older. Wisdom is earned though the heart of experience, not given when one gets a certain amount of candles on their birthday cake. It's only received when we are open to possibilities of not knowing. Young people are meant to carve their own path, create their own life and become their own people. It's our birthright. We have free will to color outside the lines and think outside the box.

When you stop trying to be everything to everyone, you figure out who you are. Finding the badass within yourself in your own way, in your own time, is priceless. You can be yourself, which is all the Universe has been asking for since the day you were born. It is safe to be a wild one. We truly all are. We just all forget as we learn at a young age to please others in order to survive and be loved. All flowers really are wildflowers. Some are just grown in different ways. The expression may look different, some brighter and bolder than others, but they're still magic in their sensual, glorious, miraculous, natural beauty. It is safe to be true to you. The era of, "isn't she a nice girl" was really about the fact they were relieved you didn't make any waves. Splash around like mermaid, it's time to take the plunge, dive right in, and show 'em what you got. No more sitting on the sidelines, scared to even dip your toes in, beyond the shallow water, let alone into the mysterious depths you reach after you get past the waves.

You don't have to be tough, sappy, conservative, liberal or anything that you are not, because that is what people around you have taught you women "should" be. You are not a "should." Don't should on yourself or anyone else... it's not pretty. It feels like crap. It is no longer serving anyone's highest good for us to dilute ourselves so that others feel comfortable. No more censoring your awesomeness for anything. Without ideas, pushing the boundaries, breaking the rules, questioning everything, especially authority, looking for more, dreaming big, nothing new would have ever happened in this world. Be the truth of who you really are, beyond the mask, and dance your own brand of splendor for all the world to see.

Rock on, fierce females. Show them the power of the goddess within you.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot