Love Words With Friends? If more than half of the items below describe YOU, I'll see you in WWFAA. Or we could just play a game -- my schedule's too tight for a twelve step program these days. (TWELVE minimum score: 14 points.)
Ok, I've played my fair share of Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, and Cut the Rope, but there's something unique about Words With Friends that has me utterly fixated. (FIXATED min. 18pts.) Maybe it's the fact that I get to whup other people and feel superior. (WHUP min. 13pts.) I don't exactly know. I do know that I'm not alone; over 20 million players have downloaded this addictive app. (ADDICTIVE min. 18pts.)
I mean, I'm not an addict -- Frankly, I could quit at anytime. Though I'm told that's the first thing an addict says. Well, right after, "I'm not an addict." S&*t, I'm screwed. (SCREWED min- 14pts.)
In an effort to see if I'm truly hooked, I compiled this list of indicators. Feel free to test your level of obsession as well. (HOOKED min. 13pts.)
1. You know every two-letter word in the WWF dictionary AA, JO, ZA, KA, QI etc... (QI min. 11pts.)
2. You know every word that can be made with the letters J, Q, X, Z, from AJEE to ZYGOTE... (ZYGOTE min. 19pts.)
3. You realize it's sometimes worth it to leave open a triple when you can get a high score on a double-double. (HIGH min. 10pts.)
4. Number 3 didn't sound like gibberish to you. (GIBBERISH min. 17pts.)
5. You know that to win you need strategy and persistence. A good vocabulary is near the bottom of the prerequisites... and you're ok with that because you're a persistent strategist. (OK is not a word. Didn't see that one coming, did you?)
6. You can only use about 50 % of the words you play in an actual sentence. "Gi, your hair smells terrific." (GI min. 4pts)
7. You're willing to try every letter combo in your stack to make a bingo. (BINGO min. 11pts.)
8. When someone accuses you of using a cheat, you act all offended, but you're really thinking, "Awww geez, what a lovely compliment." (GEEZ min. 15pts.)
9. You play anyone that challenges you, even though you barely remember ever having known them. They may be flirting or their coinciding pic somewhat resembles the unibomber's -- all that matters is the game. (KNOWN min. 14pts.)
10. If you accidentally push the wrong name and challenge some random person you haven't seen since camp, you play them anyway. You don't want the loss on your record. Shout out to Adam O. -- I love our games, even though I wouldn't recognize you at a camp reunion. (CAMP min. 13pts.)
11. You find that you're actually holding your breath until those dashes stop circling. (FIND min. 9pts.)
12. You feel like a failure if you play a word under 15 points unless your setting yourself up for a 40-pointer on your next move. (NEXT min. 12pts.)
13. You queerly give yourself a mental high five on words that rack up 50 points or more. No, make that 30 points or more. 50+ gets a fist pump and an audible "yes." 70+ may require an attempt at a cartwheel. (PUMP min. 14pts.)
14. You know your highest score on a single word and you're thankful that FB now has a score board to show it off. (OFF min. 9pts.)
15. You can distinguish the WWF ding from the 8,000 other noises your phone makes and you subtlety jump to attention when you hear it. (JUMP min. 20pts.)..."
16. You've actually woken up from sleeping to play a word. (WOKEN min. 13pts.)
17. You find yourself staring at your phone/pad/computer after putting in a word as if willing someone to play you back. Damn it, why aren't they on the same schedule as me! You tell yourself that this is the reason you need to play so many games. (BACK min. 14pts.)
18. You think Alec Baldwin's reaction to the airline attendant was tame. Please, she deserved his wrath, he might have been playing a multiword triple with a ZAX. Did anyone think to ask? How rude! (ZAX min. 19pts.)
19. You are keenly aware of how many S's and blanks are available at any given time. (KEENLY min. 14pts.)
20. If you hear a ding during sex you consider checking your phone. Nevermind, you'll just rush through... as usual. (SEX min. 10pts.)
21. You have actually played WWF in your dreams and woken to find yourself irked that your awesome word (which may have included numbers and hieroglyphics) didn't count. (IRK min. 7pts.)
22. You found this article while doing a search entitled "Help, I'm addicted to Words With Friends" (HELP min. 10pts.)
So, maybe we have a teensy problem. Look, it could be worse. It could be Draw Something or crack. Though I fear Draw Something could be an issue in the near future. Well, as long as we keep avoiding crack, I think we're good. (CRACK min. 15 pts.)
* I'm aware that was more than 20. I said I'm hooked on word games... not Sudoku.
To Read More From Jenny, check out her humor column: The Suburban Jungle (HUMOR min. 11pts.)
Fan her on FB: I Love Jenny From the Blog (BLOG min. 10pts.)
Follow Jenny Isenman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/suburbanjungle
I truly enjoy these games and am mildly addicted to WwF, but I'm more addicted to preserving what little remains of my autonomy and privacy on today's marketing-driven web. Frankly, I'm tired of being looked at as a product to be tweaked and teased and integrated - and I have no idea at all where all the information about me ultimately ends up. "Privacy policy" - Puh-leeze!!