You do not grieve alone
I've heard a lot of thoughtful and moving words about the sudden and overwhelming loss of José Fernández. The Baseball Tonight and Effectively Wild podcasts were awesome. José's death hit hard.
I hesitate to add my own words to things already said so well. But I also know that a sudden and tragic loss can remind people of tragic losses of their own. It can maybe even cause us to revisit them. That's why I want to say something today. Maybe I can help.
Grace in the Midst of Pain
I once heard a story about a man who lost his family in a flash flood. In one terrible event, his wife and all his children were killed. He was the only one to survive. With everything taken from him at once, he said he was surprised by the grace he received. He said, without that grace, he would not have found the will to live.
I've never experienced loss like that. It must be devastating. I pray for protection over my family every day, because I don't ever want to go through anything like that. I'm not sure how I would respond if that happened to me. Would I still believe in God?
I would. I truly believe that God is good. Maybe initially I would be angry at Him, punching my fist at Him, asking Him, "Why?" But I would believe.
I also know that I would be a mess. I would be in so much pain. That's why I think my anger would give way to prayer.
I would say, "God, this hurts me to my soul. I'm going to need a ton of grace and mercy and grace right now. My loved ones were parts of me, and they're gone. Gone! This pain is testing my faith in who you are. This pain is testing my faith that you know what you're doing. I need you to get me through this. I need your grace."
The Holiness of Mourning
There is a time to mourn. There is a time to weep, and there is a time to cry. The mourning process is not a selfish thing. It's scriptural. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
I think when we grieve, God cries with us.
If you're experiencing the pain of loss, I would encourage you to pray. Ask for mercy and grace. Ask God to sit with you and mourn, and know that it's okay.
I say this with some boldness, since I've never experienced it. I know people have made it through devastating loss, so surely mourning is okay. It's okay to ask for grace and mercy. It's okay to ask just to meet with God every day. Jesus will sit with you. He will hug on you. He is with you and will not let you grieve alone.
I don't know if Jesus sits with everybody all the time. But I believe that when you mourn, you'll feel the Spirit of God sitting with you, giving you a hug, and letting you cry. It's good to weep, and hide your head in His embrace. There's fulfillment in that.
If you are grieving, then ask for the mercy and grace you need to get through the pain of loss. Ask for the grace you need to keep going. It is there for you.
Jeremy Affeldt is a former pitcher with the three-time World Series Champion San Francisco Giants. He is a humanitarian, author, public speaker,broadcaster, family man and a believer. Follow him on Instagram, twitter and facebook @JeremyAffeldt.