"When you buy a box of Girl Scout cookies and devour 10 in a single sitting, as untold numbers of people will in the next month, you are propping up a pretty sizable enterprise."
-- The New York Times
1. How can I purchase Girl Scout Cookies?
Girl Scout Cookies can only be purchased directly from Girl Scouts, and only during cookie season. The exact dates are set by each community Girl Scout troop, but rest assured that any girls selling cookies outside of cookie season are prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
2. Can I buy Girl Scout Cookies online?
Though we currently do not have the infrastructure to support online sales, we are investigating a variety of options to make Internet purchases a possibility for future cookie seasons. In the meantime, cookies found for sale online at auction or other community list sites should not be purchased. They may not be genuine Girl Scout Cookies, and may have been tampered with.
3. What parts of girls are used in the making of Girl Scout Cookies?
Contrary to popular belief, Girl Scout Cookies do not currently contain any parts of actual girls. This is a rumor that needs to stop. We thank you for your support of the Girl Scout organization.
4. How many Girl Scout Cookies should I consume in a single sitting?
We recommend that you begin with one cookie and slowly increase your intake as your body adjusts. Some people have reported eating as many as twelve girl scout cookies in a sitting. Be aware that sixteen Girl Scout Cookies is equivalent to one complete girl.
5. I am a boy. Can I buy Girl Scout Cookies?
Yes. You may buy Girl Scout Cookies, although you are not permitted to either sell them or eat them. Any boys impersonating girls in order to gain access to Girl Scout Cookies are likely to face significant criminal penalties. Any boys who either intentionally or accidentally ingest Girl Scout Cookies should seek prompt medical attention.
6. How can I be sure that my Girl Scout Cookies are fresh?
Every package of Girl Scout Cookies is stamped with a "use by or freeze by" date. This will let you know how long you can store your cookies before they will begin to suffer in quality. As with any living product, please be sure to give your package of cookies adequate space to breathe, and poke a small number of holes in the top of the box for ventilation.
7. Wait -- there's something alive in my cookies?
We make every effort to keep our Girl Scout Cookies alive for as long as possible.
8. What exactly is alive in my Girl Scout Cookies???
Thank you for your interest in Girl Scout Cookies. If you provide your mailing address, we will be happy to send you a coupon.
9. What are the most popular types of Girl Scout Cookies?
Our biggest sellers are Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Patties, Shortbread, and Actual Scout Fingers.
10. How did you come up with the name for the Actual Scout Fingers cookie variety?
All of our cookie varieties are named by our bakers, with significant input from the Girl Scouts themselves. The Actual Scout Fingers cookie was named by Margaret "Two Fingers" Smith, a Scout from Troop 2654.
11. Should people with diabetes buy or consume Girl Scout Cookies?
No. Our cookies are completely free of girl scouts with diabetes or other medical conditions.
12. Hold on -- so are you saying there are in fact actual Girl Scouts in the cookies?
As we have stated repeatedly in a variety of state and federal courtrooms, a partial list of ingredients can be found on the side of each box of Girl Scout Cookies.
13. Okay, where can I buy Girl Scout Cookies that definitely do not have any Scout parts inside of them?
We stand behind the quality of all of our cookies, no matter where we source our ingredients. If you provide your mailing address, we will be happy to send you a coupon.
14. Can you at least just promise me that my Girl Scout Cookies are not going to eat me before I eat them?
Thank you for your support of the Girl Scout organization and we hope you enjoy this season's cookies.
Follow Jeremy Blachman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jeremyblachman