If Steve Martin doesn't want to do another "Father of the Bride" movie, and the studio can't find anyone to replace him (original star Spencer Tracy can't take the role because he is, contractually, dead), I have just the man to play the lead.
I refer, of course, to myself. That's because I recently found out that I am going to star in the real-life sequel to the popular series.
It gives me great pleasure to announce that my younger daughter, Lauren, is engaged to be married to a wonderful young man named Guillaume.
The first time I was father of the bride was in 2006, when my older daughter, Katie, married Dave, who also is a wonderful young man.
It goes without saying, but I will say it anyway, that Katie and Lauren are wonderful young women, primarily because they take after their mother, also known as my wife, Sue, who once again will be mother of the bride, the role played by Diane Keaton in the two Steve Martin movies and by Joan Bennett in the two Spencer Tracy movies. Maybe Sue should get an agent.
Anyway, in the immortal words of that great philosopher Yogi Berra, it's deja vu all over again. I'm thrilled because the first time around was so memorable.
One part I will never forget, and which Hollywood could never top, was when Sue suggested we have Katie's bridal shower at home because it would, Sue said, "save us money."
"What a brilliant idea!" I responded enthusiastically, because as father of the bride I was already hemorrhaging cash.
"Of course," Sue added, "we'll have to redo the kitchen."
As you already may have guessed, we didn't save money. In fact, we spent more than my feeble mind could have imagined, not just on the kitchen, which was finished the day before the shower, but on our underground oil tank, which ruptured a week before the occasion.
The tank was dug up, making the side yard look like a war zone, and was temporarily replaced by an old, rusty, above-ground tank that sat in full view of the guests, who gathered under a tent in the back yard. To add to the ambience, the replacement tank was festooned with balloons and a sign saying, "Congratulations!"
Still, the day was terrific. Not only were men invited, but it may have been the first bridal shower in history to feature cigars. It ended in a game of beer pong.
Because I have two left feet, which makes it extremely difficult to buy shoes, I took a dancing lesson so I wouldn't humiliate myself at the reception. Sue came along because she wasn't much better. In fact, we could have had our own show: "Dancing With the Stiffs." The lesson helped.
We also assisted Katie and Dave in picking out a wedding cake. The decision was made one morning at an elegant bakery, where we each had a slice of eight different cakes for breakfast.
And, a week before the big event, I pampered myself by going to a spa for a day of beauty, which included a pedicure, a manicure and a massage. After all, sometimes a boy just likes to feel pretty.
It all culminated in the greatest wedding in the history of matrimony. Katie was a luminously beautiful bride, Dave was a dashingly handsome groom, and I didn't fall on my face while walking Katie down the aisle.
I'm sure my second time as father of the bride will be just as memorable. I might even invite Steve Martin to the wedding.
Stamford Advocate columnist Jerry Zezima is the author of "Leave It to Boomer." More info at www.jerryzezima.blogspot.com. E-mail: JerryZ111@optonline.net.
Copyright 2010 by Jerry Zezima
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.