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Jesse Berney

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What a Real Apology From Rush Limbaugh Would Look Like

Posted: 03/ 4/2012 11:00 am

Rush Limbaugh wrote a half-hearted apology to Sandra Fluke. Here's what a real apology would look like.

Dear Ms. Fluke:

I sincerely and deeply apologize for the words I used on-air to describe you. I was wrong to do so, and my personal attacks were well past the bounds of basic human decency. I have been known to say that words have meaning, and so I take full responsibility for the ones I used. I hope that someday we can meet so I can apologize in person.

This whole incident has caused me to reflect on the nature of what I do. For more than 20 years, I have pushed the bounds of good taste and decency to make political points. I straddle the line between entertainment and political commentary, but the fact remains that I have influence, not only in the minds of my many listeners but also in the actual corridors of power. That influence comes with a certain level of responsibility. That doesn't mean I should stop trying to entertain, but it does mean I should be thoughtful about the things I say. When I called you a slut and a prostitute I disregarded those responsibilities.

I also need to apologize for some factual errors. When I spoke about your testimony I did so without reading it or listening to it. It was not, as I said, about your sex life, which you have had the class not to discuss during any part of this controversy. I said you were having "so much sex" you couldn't afford your birth control. This of course was an inaccurate depiction of how birth control works; women are either on the pill or not, and the amount of sex they have does not affect the amount of birth control they take. I am sorry for those errors.

I will not apologize for the things I believe in. I do not believe that the government should mandate that insurance companies offer birth control free of charge. I don't believe government should mandate anything the insurance companies do. Insurance companies should cover what they like; if they do not provide the services you like, don't use them. I am especially offended that the Obama administration is forcing religious employers to cover birth control, and I believe it is an attack on their religious freedom.

I have to decided to take a week's hiatus from my show to further reflect on this incident and my actions. I hope to return a better person. I am certain that I will continue to say things that offend some people -- that is unavoidable -- but I am committed to never again using the kind of personal and destructive language I used to describe you.

Again, I apologize to you, Ms. Fluke, and to women everywhere for my sexist and offensive language. I also want to apologize to my sponsors, whose trust I hope to regain.

Sincerely,

Rush Limbaugh

 

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05:33 PM on 03/11/2012
Very well written! It is a shame that Rush has neither the intelligence nor the humility to write such a letter. He is too busy tilting at windmills to see the big picture. Maybe we should deny him his Viagra so that his blood can return up to his cranium so he can comprehend that 1) this is not an anti-religion movement. 2) By treating conditions such as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and PREVENTING unwanted children the nation will actually save money. There would be no costly hospital visits due to complications that arise from untreated conditions that require the birthcontrol pill as treatment. There would be less money paid out to the foster system and the welfare system.
Also let us not forget those unfortunates that will end up in the penal system. If you force women to have children that they can not afford to raise (but could have easily prevented) SOMEONE has to pay for them & in the long run it is the taxpayer that ultimately pays in the end. It is said that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" I say we should invest in the prevention rather than go bankrupt trying to keep up with the installments for the cure!
07:09 PM on 03/05/2012
News Reports in Limerick Form via Tweet

As his basket loses eggs
Rush’s words the question begs
His mea culpa only serves
To suck up to sponsors & perves
Is that tail between his legs?

-- @Noah_Veil
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
Rooster Coburn
Less Gov't + More Responsibility = A Better World
06:18 PM on 03/05/2012
Here's mine:
As a student of the legal system I am sure that you are familiar with the philosophical principle of "demonstrating absurdity by being absurd." And I am reasonably sure that you, like all intelligent people, will agree that having our federal government involved in the everyday aspects of our lives is absurd.  Naturally, this resulted in absurdly ridiculous statements being aired about your public testimony on my radio show. No reasonable person would think that you are a "slut" or a "prostitute". Those words entered into the discourse merely to exemplify the absurdity of the President's micro-managing of our economy through his so-called "Obama-care Initiative". In the event you found any of the remarks which might possibly be seen by some as references to yourself to be personally offensive or even insensitive then I hope and pray that you will accept my heartfelt personal apology that such never was and never shall be my intent. 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Teresa Bone
Respect is earned, not given!
06:03 PM on 03/05/2012
That would be a cold day in H-E-double hockey sticks!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
idontcare761
It seems I might care afterall..
05:28 PM on 03/05/2012
lol..still wiping the tears from my eyes , having laughed so hard I was literally crying. Nice piece of fiction you've written. Anyone who knows Rush Limbaugh , or about him , knows he would Never apologize for what hes said unless he was made to , which in this case , he was. The letter you wrote , was the one he Should have used as a template for his own apology. It's a shame a grown man has the need to bully others and still , he's paid for it *shaking my head*. Wonderful writing , but just a dream.
04:50 PM on 03/05/2012
If Rush were actually a real man with honor, he would climb aboard his private plane, Fly to Georgetown and meet Sandra face to face if she would accept a meeting. There he would man up and apologize. Then he should ask Georgetown to gather in their biggest venue and he would apologize to the female part of the student body for his harsh words about them that he used. The he could donate some money to found a group to maintain civility in public discourse as was done here in Tucson shortly after Jan8th, 2011. That would constitute an apology.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Issa
What wjord rhymes with fjord?
03:31 PM on 03/05/2012
In the future, this "letter from Rush" you have composed, will be held up as proof of how prodigiously Rush 'actually' apologized for this incident.
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WolfLady
SweetieFierce
01:35 PM on 03/05/2012
Nice, but wishful thinking. Limbaugh could no more write that than a dyslexic macaque.

~WolfLady~.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
deminmo
just looking for answers
01:14 PM on 03/05/2012
Wow! Wish Rush would have done exactly this. But don't bother now
Mr. Limbaugh.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
J Rupel
"Let the lamp affix its beam..."
12:40 PM on 03/05/2012
Mr. Berney,
I hope you would agree that ours is a time of economic uncertainty, and even the most sanctimonious and comfortably employed among us should not neglect the importance of making a good first impression. I have never read your work until now, but throughout the process I was constantly hounded by one thought: I'm being lectured by a forty-something man wearing a sportcoat, and a baseball cap. A baseball cap. Whatever other affinities you share with him, realize that Michael Moore is not a fashion role model. I have seldom seen a profile pic so slovenly; such disorder makes it hard to take any of your ideas seriously. Please Jesse, get help.
___Best wishes,
___J.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jesse Berney
01:13 PM on 03/05/2012
Ha! Probably is time to update that photo. I seem to be wearing baseball caps in all the reasonably decent pictures of me.

And, for the record, thirty-something.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
J Rupel
"Let the lamp affix its beam..."
01:33 PM on 03/05/2012
Well, I like to tease you HP bloggers, so thanks for being a good sport. If you're looking for any tips on how a (thirty-something;-)) man can age gracefully, I would direct you to my profile picture. If, like some commenters, you find taking advice from a "person of technicolor" to be demeaning, I would direct you to the profile picture of one CSKAP, also in this thread, and advise you to do the exact opposite of what you see in the photograph.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
J Rupel
"Let the lamp affix its beam..."
04:43 PM on 03/05/2012
Thanks for being a good sport. I like to tease you HP bloggers and sometimes get a little carried away. If you want some a perfect example of how to age gracefully, I would direct you to MY profile pic. Don't listen to these other commenters; they only want to silence "people of technicolor."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
CSKAP
Morlock or Eloi?
01:15 PM on 03/05/2012
This from someone using a cartoon as an avatar? Kind of fitting I guess, considering the content of the comments.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
J Rupel
"Let the lamp affix its beam..."
01:21 PM on 03/05/2012
It's a conservative thing. Ever hear of the Wall Street Journal?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thismachinekillsfascists
Exposing the GOP Lie-machine
12:16 PM on 03/05/2012
It'll never happen.
12:00 PM on 03/05/2012
Excellent fantasy piece. Though we all know he would never be decent enough to say such things, I love that you've included all the main points of this issue (most of which he's avoided like the plague) and written it in the style of his so-called positions on political issues. It truly sounds like the alternate universe version of Rush where he's a thoughtful, articulate person willing to take responsibility for his behaviors. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
CountryBeforeParty
We are against misconduct, not against wealth
11:26 AM on 03/05/2012
We know what a real apology would look like Jesse. It's just that Rush would never do such a thing because that would require feeling remorse, and an epiphany.
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studioh!
bridging the snarchasm
11:02 AM on 03/05/2012
wasted.effort.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Democrab
Pretty far so good
10:56 AM on 03/05/2012
You could rival Stephen King's creative fiction.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jesse Berney
11:52 AM on 03/05/2012
Working on that, too... ;)