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Jessica Pearce Rotondi

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Sex: Should You Schedule It In Advance?

Posted: 12/12/2011 10:43 am

To the beauty and health regimens now making the rounds in anticipation of New Year's Resolutions, The Frisky has created yet another list for women to fret over: "The Sex in 7 Days Regimen." It's based on the premise that "while guys just change their T-shirt and they're ready to go, I have to endure an entire prep-for-sex checklist. Isn't it infuriating?" The author then goes on to share her checklist, which includes everything from drinking laxative tea -- two cups a day will leave you 'depleted like a sorority girl' as my friend says," writes the author -- to nightly masturbation (as long as you are in bed by 11).

Jennifer Wright over at The Gloss was ambivalent, at best, about the seven-day out schedule: "I legitimately just change my t-shirt and am good to go," she writes, adding, "I am worried that if I had to remember to do all of this before having sex I would never have sex again. But the idea of sex as something to look forward to is ... nice!"

The Frisky isn't the first to suggest scheduling sex in advance (though the seven-step prep process including approved and unapproved pre-sex foods, skin care tips, and vitamins perhaps takes it to another level.) A February 2009 Consumer Reports poll of 1,000 U.S. adults found 45 percent of respondents reported planning trysts with their partners in advance.

While some critics see scheduling sex as the "end of spontaneity," others see it as a positive component of a healthy relationship. Dr. Eli Coleman, professor and director of the Program in Human Sexuality at the University of Minnesota Medical School, told ABC News in a segment about the Consumer Report findings that scheduling and prioritizing sex can revitalize a romance once the initial excitement has worn off. However, she cautions that couples shouldn't feel obligated to follow through if they aren't in the mood: "Psychologically it is not erotic to feel pressured. It's not erotic to go through the motions when your mind and heart really isn't there."

POLL: We want to know: Do you schedule sex? If so, how far in advance?

Quick Poll

Do you schedule sex? If so, how far in advance?

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
topkatnc
Give a stray cat or dog a chance .
09:13 AM on 12/21/2011
When I was married for 25 years we had sex every other night ... So I guess you could called that scheduled .
07:31 PM on 12/16/2011
"Sex: Should You Schedule It In Advance? "

DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE ?
12:03 AM on 12/15/2011
i think people are misinterpreting "schedule". All you are doing is helping to suggest a time that you think would work best for the both of you. and it doesnt mean u will never have spontaneous sex again either!
01:41 PM on 12/14/2011
Sex is just that sex you can schedule sex any way or time you want, But there is no way to schedule the feeling of love and if you have love you have it al.
01:21 PM on 12/14/2011
should you get your head checked?
mallie888
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
12:23 PM on 12/14/2011
...why not both......
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
22Keys
12:15 PM on 12/14/2011
While being more spontaneous may be more exciting there are risks. People do not always have a condom and usually it could be a more public place. One increasing your risk of disease, the other of being caught by the police with your pants down.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
irishkiss274
Let your dreaming be your guide...
12:11 PM on 12/14/2011
"But the idea of sex as something to look forward to is ... nice!"

Oh, come on. You can look forward to it without having to schedule it. It's women like that who make other people think we're finicky when it comes to sex. I guess it's because I'm young, but I like spending time intimate with my spouse. You can always look forward to it and spontaneously do it whenever it feels right. Scheduled sex is bad sex.
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wakohnen
Human opinions....a fascinating study....
12:07 PM on 12/14/2011
No need to schedule when it is expected. When both my wife and I are home it does not need to be scheduled. Spontaneous is best. No children at home and relaxing for the evening. We take turns initiating it and find creative ways to suprise each other.
11:32 AM on 12/14/2011
I'm sorry but when I hear the word "schedule" it makes me think of a job or chore, and that is NOT what sex should be. I would much rather keep it spontaneous with my guy.
CHUXKLES
Independently, non-dependent
11:29 AM on 12/14/2011
The wife does...every February 29th...between 6:15p to 6:20P.... What does she expect of me....I'm a machine....??? I need rest too!!!
11:25 AM on 12/14/2011
Usually when men desire sex its usually spontaneous but with women, especially younger women, the idea of "what time of the month" is it usually comes up if they got off the pill for whatever reason. Also when you plan you focus on your partner, nothing else is on your mind. Spontaneity is great but for some people planning a specific time eliminates being interrupted by kids, phones, etc.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cosatjockomo
10:52 AM on 12/14/2011
When my ex made the rule "no double digit sex" (after 10 at night) our marriage was doomed.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Louie Rey
10:35 AM on 12/14/2011
Of course! You wouldn't want your wife home at the time, would you? Only kidding. Sex is good whenever, whether you schedule it or it just happens. Go for it!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kichiokami
Neither Liberal or Conservative ; just Rational .
09:05 AM on 12/14/2011
It is a SAD state of affairs when you are down-graded to having to schedule sex . Sad . What happend to sontenaity ???
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
seabeeutcn
10:53 AM on 12/14/2011
No time to be spontaneous when your paying by the hour. Time is money.