"So," I told one of my male friends, "I'm writing about women's erogenous zones. Any thoughts?" He reacted with a shudder and then pretty much bolted in the other direction with a quick goodbye. Another guy friend hid his face in his t-shirt when I asked him the same question. I had to wonder, what's the big deal, here? Why are men loathe to discuss what gets women hot?
My personal hypothesis is that women are socially conditioned to be less forthcoming about their sexual needs than men, and as Male Friend #1 put it, "We don't know where everything is, and it's different for each woman, and women don't always offer much in the way of directions or advice." On this point, I have to agree. I know a lot of women who have no qualms about asking for what they want and need at work, but they want men to magically intuit what they want sexually. A girlfriend of mine who has been successful in the male-dominated film industry says, "It's romantic when a guy takes matters into his own hands. I don't want to have to tell him what to do; I also don't want him to think I'm bossy." With this kind of attitude out there, it's not shocking that my male friend feels like he's "just stuck fumbling around down there. It's challenging and usually intimidating."
That's when it struck me that Monica Geller's work was not done. While she may have clarified what she considered the seven, seven, SEVEN female erogenous zones for Chandler Bing in that brilliant "Friends" scene we all remember so well (watch below), some men are still in the dark about what really turns women on. The problem is that, as Male Friend #1 astutely observed, every woman is different. My list of the most sexually responsive parts of my body will almost certainly be different from the next woman's. So I started asking real women to tell me what parts of them they want their partners to focus on in bed. Here are the eight (that's SEVEN plus one) anatomical locales they especially wanted their partners to visit:
WATCH: 'Friends' Monica Geller Explains The Female Erogenous Zones