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Jill Di Donato

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Holiday Sex: Do's and Don't's

Posted: 12/24/11 11:32 AM ET

I'll never forget the Christmas I unwrapped a training bra in front of all of my relatives, and with all the teen angst and melodrama I could muster, threw the package -- ribbons flying -- at my mother. Pre-puberty, there was something profane about mixing anything even remotely sexual into the holidays.

In adulthood, I've found the opposite to be true. Why does no one tell you in some sort of advanced 18-and-over sex ed class, "The secret to handling your mother and the I-didn't-bake-at-all-this-year-again guilt and the dress that won't zip and the thing you accidentally said to your coworker at the holiday party is to have a lot of sex?

I know what you're thinking: Between stuffing stockings, pleasing (or just appeasing) your relatives, and getting the right Hanukkah dessert (jelly doughnuts, obviously) -- all without blowing your budget -- sex is the last thing on your mind this time of year. But I am here to tell you that you can, and it works.

In the interest of sharing this unspoken coping mechanism with the other stressed people of the world, here it is: my guide to holiday sex. I promise there are no dignity-withering references to bad Santas or naughty elves -- just a few tips on how to keep your libido (and thus your spirits) up in the days ahead.

PHOTOS: A Complete Guide To Holiday Sex

Sneaking Around Is Still Sexy
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One of my best times was on the cold bathroom tile in a boyfriend's mother's house with Christmas music blasting in the background. As we were unmarried, his family didn't find it appropriate for us to share a bedroom, so we had to sneak around like we were teenagers all over again -- except this time we knew what we were doing! The thrill of breaking the rules never gets old.

 

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I'll never forget the Christmas I unwrapped a training bra in front of all of my relatives, and with all the teen angst and melodrama I could muster, threw the package -- ribbons flying -- at my mothe...
I'll never forget the Christmas I unwrapped a training bra in front of all of my relatives, and with all the teen angst and melodrama I could muster, threw the package -- ribbons flying -- at my mothe...
 
 
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05:24 AM on 01/12/2012
Oh, absolutely. I mean, if you're not with your husband or lifetime-committed person, a boyfriend will do--and if no boyfriend, then just somebody you used to fantasize about who might be walking around your hometown. Take him down, for God's sakes! And a couple more besides!
12:28 PM on 12/29/2011
I love this. Thank you.
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solid
Just North of the Center Independent
09:05 AM on 12/29/2011
Call me crazy, but I think the two protagonists in the song "Let it Snow" were doing some MAJOR holiday canoodling.

"And, my dear, we're still good-bying"? C'mon, they're humping each others' brains out! o
04:59 AM on 12/29/2011
Every can do whatever they want specially Christmas whether gift giving, tender care for each other, physical attraction to one other. There are many things to do. We should keep busy on ourselves during this holidays in a nice and lively manner in this once a year celebrations.
04:00 PM on 12/26/2011
X-travagant X-rated X-capades during X-mas is X-actly what is X-pected.

Why else would there be a surge of babies born in September/October?
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solid
Just North of the Center Independent
08:59 AM on 12/29/2011
Oops, my oldest daughter was born on September 10. Pass the egg nog!
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10:57 AM on 12/26/2011
Do!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
surfette72
Hang on tight Libs...we'll be back.
08:54 AM on 12/26/2011
"Holiday" sex?? I don't get it. What the heck could possibly be different about sex during the holidays? Sometimes I think my female cohorts make WAY too big of a deal out of things like this. Besides, I'm a firm believer that most couples are indeed getting very "busy" over the holidays...why do you think there are so many people with September birthdays? ;)
RealistBC
Micro-bios must pass muster.
09:58 PM on 12/27/2011
What the heck could possibly be different about sex during the holidays? A lot of partying, which tends to reduce inhibitions and make coitus much more common. Once the partying ends, so does the canoodling.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
surfette72
Hang on tight Libs...we'll be back.
09:51 PM on 12/28/2011
Hence, all the September birthdays!
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solid
Just North of the Center Independent
09:00 AM on 12/29/2011
Hehe, you said firm believer, hehehehe...
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surfette72
Hang on tight Libs...we'll be back.
10:18 AM on 12/29/2011
I actually thought about that after I posted it, solid! Get your mind out of the gutter! ;)
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cuoi
I wish everyone happiness.
08:27 AM on 12/26/2011
What's wrong with you people?! Only 65 comments on SEX? Let's get it up...
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jdshannon03
The Most Interesting Man In The World
02:28 PM on 12/26/2011
I like the pun there!
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jdshannon03
The Most Interesting Man In The World
03:16 PM on 12/26/2011
Really good pun!
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Capn Scott
the 'moderated' me
08:17 AM on 12/26/2011
I wasn't aware that 'The Fashion Institute of Technology' even needed an 'Adjunct Professor of English', let alone had one.

Since everything is made in China now, I would have guessed that they'd have an 'Adjunct Professor of Chinese' instead.
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McAttorney
Speak softly and have a great schtick
04:28 PM on 12/26/2011
I initially thought the same thing but before I posted something stupid (see above) I looked it up. It is part of the State University of New York system and a legitimate school unlike the profit schools that survive by handing out student loans.
Manufacturing may be offshore, but design is domestic.
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Capn Scott
the 'moderated' me
09:13 PM on 12/26/2011
A vo-tech welding institute might also be a "part of the State University of New York system" and a "legitimate school", but that doesn't mean that they would be needing an adjunct professor of English either.

Of course, if one is inclined to associate "legitimacy" with whether or not a school is part of the State system instead of whether or not the position in question is actually warranted...then that goes a long way toward explaining how Basket-weaving 101 got on the State curriculum...and also how you apparently majored in it..
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karen lyons kalmenson
i poem/paint, sometimes, i ain't
08:01 AM on 12/26/2011
when the weather outside
is frightful
indoor sports can be
so delightful♥☻
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cuoi
I wish everyone happiness.
08:29 AM on 12/26/2011
You scored with that comment...
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karen lyons kalmenson
i poem/paint, sometimes, i ain't
08:32 AM on 12/26/2011
i scored...wow, and i didn't even feel it;-D
TRRoughRider
Truth be Known
06:29 AM on 12/26/2011
Ha!
11:19 PM on 12/25/2011
This article should have been titled "How to make X-mas X-rated".
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bridgeman
Jesus was a Jazz fan
07:38 AM on 12/26/2011
OR..."How to make X-mas Xciting"
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karen lyons kalmenson
i poem/paint, sometimes, i ain't
08:01 AM on 12/26/2011
x-actly
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jdshannon03
The Most Interesting Man In The World
03:18 PM on 12/26/2011
X-tra X-ilerating!
10:56 PM on 12/25/2011
Sex is like religion. We don't need a holiday to seek blessings from almighty, in former case, from your partner :-)

http://manoj-rc.blogspot.com/2011/12/god-sex.html
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rewith85man
Expressing Who I Am
10:22 PM on 12/25/2011
Enjoy your holiday vacation and do not ruin it by being selfish, angry, depressed, etc.
08:43 PM on 12/25/2011
Liked the article. I always feel sexy around Christmas. I whisper lots of things to my wife (probably too many) about how she is the gift that keeps on giving, Yule logs, unwrapping her on x-mas, etc. She doesn't really like x-mas day itself, so we always celebrate a day or two early. Great antidote for holiday stress.
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09:23 PM on 12/25/2011
And the age old classic - stuffing her stocking! Christmas brings up all kinds of fun opportunities!