My Funeral and Memorial Service

08/14/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

After finally watching a few clips of the Michael Jackson memorial event, I thought about my own mortality and the fragility of life -- even if one doesn't take dangerous drugs that should only be administered by an anesthesiologist.

I realized that, not only do I need to write up a will, but I also need to plan my own memorial service and tribute for when that inevitable time comes. Granted, I don't have the celebrity or fan base of Michael, but I still think it could be newsworthy...or blogworthy.

The first problem to be worked out is where to have the memorial. My friends and family are scattered across the country. Although, according to my website, a good percentage of fans are located to the North East. So, I would shoot for NYC. Maybe Joe's Pub, where I play regularly, would be a good place -- although I would have to choose between the 7:00 or the 10:00 show. My fans are getting older and need to get home to relieve the babysitter, so I may have to go for the early slot.

Michael had a lot of famous people talk or sing, but I have celebrity fans too. Maybe Arianna could recite the lyrics of one of my songs. Cyndi Lauper could belt "I Kissed a Girl" -- the original. Although I would rather hear "True Colors." Margaret Cho could play blue and tell some jokes. Maybe we could hire Jermaine Jackson to sing "Supermodel." Where else is he performing? We could also have open mike and/or karaoke. Think of the great house band!

Mind you, I hope that I live for a really long time. I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment. But when I'm breathing my last breath... you are all invited.

By the way, to be able to afford the future deli tray and open bar, I hope you all visit my website -- -- or go to your favorite music site and buy my new record, California Years. It was 100% fan-funded. Here is a song from it called "Good Life." It is also about the end times.