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Future Sex and the City Sequels

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Sex and the City: The Threequell! - You thought Abu Dhabi was a crazy, madcap, hardly plausible romp for the fab four? Well wait 'til you get a load of their next friend-venture...deep in the jungles of the Amazon!

Carrie's on assignment to learn about where her favorite shoe components come from, and because jobs and family are never as important as a va-cay with the lay-days, the rest of the crew is coming along for the wild ride! Humidity that wrecks your hair? No toilet-liners in the entire Amazon? "Accidentally" being blow-darted mid-sentence right when things were about to get juicy? What will the ladies get up to next!?

But when Charlotte discovers an elderly German tour guide with a set of swastika dishware and a surprisingly detailed documentation of his progeny, going "native" takes on a whole new meaning.

Can the girls survive toad-licking, fish that swim up your you-know-what, and learning their friend is the descendant of Nazi war criminals? Or will this threequel just prove that these four are more fabulous than ever? Find out in this summer's sure-to-be-smash hit!

Also, shoes!

Sex and the Prehist-ity - One day, while carefully polishing her collection of Manolos with her slavering tongue, Carrie discovers that, if you arrange the right pairs of shoes in the exact right order, and click all their heels together simultaneously, you can travel through time! Wow - shoes really are a magical experience, right girls?

After a few hilarious escapades with historical hotties, Carrie and the gals decide to up the ante with a much-needed tropical vacation - to the Cretaceous period! Better double-check to make sure you packed everything, girlfriend!

But when the heel of one of Carrie's mystic Manolos breaks, the girls are stuck indefinitely in a time with no lattes, no cosmos, and no Big!

Will Carrie stand by her man, or follow Samantha's lead with a few of the neighborhood Neanderthals (who make up for what they lack in brains in other places, if you know what we mean, ladies)? Will Miranda ever stop bitching long enough to reinvent the wheel that just might get them back to Manhattan? And can the gals' friendship stand the strain of prolonged non-alcoholic interaction?

If you're female or gay, we're betting that it doesn't really matter, you'll come see it anyway!

Sex and the City: The Squeakquel - Just when you thought these characters couldn't become more two-dimensional and cartoonish...we turned them into cartoons! Of chipmunks!

They have the same sassy attitudes, the same men-troubles, and the same passion for fashion as they did before, but now they also have to regularly gnaw on hard objects to make sure their constantly-growing teeth don't incapacitate them!

Doesn't Miranda's ornery nature, Charlotte's Stepford-wifeiness, Samantha's compulsive need to find validation through near-constant sex, and Carrie's essential whiny insipidness seem hilarious and edgy again when translated onto the bodies of cartoon chipmunks?

Our producers certainly thought so, and so, we assume, will enough of you to clear a serious profit!

Sex and the Shady Acres Retirement Community
- A lifetime of living it up their way means the ladies don't have any men around who haven't "tragically" succumbed to aneurysms - but they've still got each other, and now, sassy, single, and past-70, they're taking Shady Acres by storm!

Forget lady-killers, in this latest installment in the Sex franchise, the ladies are the ones breaking hearts...which gets awkward when the attendants have to unearth them from under the corpses during their regular medication-rounds!

Remember The Golden Girls? Well imagine that, but with a whole lot more full-frontal nudity!