THE BLOG
09/01/2010 11:18 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Real-Life Romantic Comedies

Love Very-Nearly Struck

Lauren is plucky, determined, and rapidly rising through the ranks at Creative Offices International. Her freezer is full of individually-wrapped garden burgers.

William is a lawyer who just got engaged to his college girlfriend, but it was definitely one of those "momentum" things. He sometimes lies about late meetings just so he won't have to go home, and she regularly quotes Dr. Phil to coerce him into doing things he'd rather not.

One day Lauren's train gets rerouted, spitting her out right outside William's office, just as a piece of stonework tumbles from one of the upper stories of the building. Thankfully William pushes her out of the way of possible death just on time!

Lauren thanked William profusely, and sent a fruit-basket to his office.

William occasionally imagines Lauren's face during sex, but he also occasionally imagines a crush-porn scenario.

The Last Resort

What happens when you take a lot of unhappy couples, an island paradise, too many tropical cocktails, and Martin Short improvising as an "alternative relationship therapist?"

A lot of awkward trust exercises, some sunburn, and a few rounds of half-hearted vacation sex.

In War and War

Jim and Renee, long-standing office rivals, are both up for the same promotion to upper-middle management, and are coming up with increasingly juvenile ways to undercut one another for their own gain.

In the end, Jim doesn't get the promotion. Renee doesn't either. They had both forgotten that there are literally hundreds upon hundreds of people qualified to do what they do.

I Bet You Didn't Know I Loved You, Amanda Marie Carlson. Or That I Know Your Shower-Gel Brand

Larry's a really deep, emotional, complex guy. He's also a LARPer.

Amanda is captain of the cheerleading team, homecoming queen, and easily the third-hottest girl in school.

Larry knows in his heart, though, that Amanda will love him as much as he loves her, if he can finally just show her how he feels.

The police are more inclined to agree with Amanda that the video compilation he made from various cameras around her house, and which he showed right in the middle of the big pep rally, constitutes prosecutable stalking.

The Mistakes We Made in the Days Inn, Poughkeepsie

Sometimes it takes almost losing the person you love to realize that you can't live without her. Then you'll do anything to prove to her that, no matter what mistakes you made in the past, there's no one else that will ever make you truly happy.

Sometimes, though, admitting to cheating on a business trip is the end of the discussion. And of your marriage.

Knocked Up, Until She Found the Pharmacy

Jennifer is always in control. She's president of the condo board, the only woman in the upper echelons of her old-boy company, and manages to keep her panty-lines invisible through sheer force of will.

She also loves having unprotected sex with whichever guy at the bar seems the most profoundly pathetic.

That's why she's on birth control, as well as a regular user of the morning-after pill.