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Traffic Jam

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On a typical day, spam accounts for about 90 percent of all e-mail.

-- The New York Times

To: Mom [Dear MOM, increase your size with VALTREX -- FREE TRIAL OFFER]

From: Jilly [Need a JILLY GAGNON? Why not try our online mall, where we guarantee the best JILLY GAGNON at the lowest prices around!]

Subject: Trip home [Free miles when you sign up for our low-rate rewards card -- click today to increase your earnings!] next week

Hey Mom [Welcome, new moms -- congratulations! Now start saving with the low prices and no-hassle shipping at Warehouse Direct!],

I just wanted to write [Learn a new language in minutes a day with our guaranteed at-home programs! Simply send your credit card information to this address and wait for the knowledge to appear!] and hammer out [Hammers, nails, and all your home improvement needs available at low, low prices. Click here to find great deals on everyday household items today!] trip home next week. [Sign up for our newsletter and receive your FREE desk calendar, PAY ONLY SHIPPING & HANDLING!]

My flight should be getting in [You'll be getting into her every night with our guaranteed SECRET FORMULA. We promise BIG results! Get your FREE TRIAL today!] I know you'll be busy at the library [Complete your music library with 100 FREE DOWNLOADS every month, $0.99 for every download after that, ONLY at your favorite online music and media source DOWNLOADIA! SIGN UP NOW FOR FREE GIFT!] plan on catching a cab. [Catching a cold? Visit the SUPER-CHEAP Canadian Pharmacy for all your RX needs. Codeine, vicodin, oxycontin, methadone, animal tranquilizers and more, no RX necessary].

I still have gifts to bring everyone from [my dead husband, who recently passed away, leaving all his money in my hands, a sum of some $1.4 million in American currency. I don't want this corupt goverment to rob me of this money, so please allow me instead to transfer it to your account. My attorney ensures me this is legal and safe. And you can trust him -- he is an attornee. You have my word on that. Simply send your account number and routing number soon to receive this windfall, otherwise I'll be forced to find another individuals to inherit my untold wealth! Many thanks, kind madam.]

Have you heard from Grandma [XXX Grandmas at fetish-fest.com!] lately? [Find your loved ones on Ancestry.com, find classmates on classmates.com, find the light at the end of your tunnel on jesussaves.com] You can tell her [Say it with roses from 1-800-BOUQUET!] she doesn't need to send so much stuff [Ship DIRECT with discount-shipping.org, your only source for safe, reliable, absolutely not fraudulent shipping! Please send your account number and bank routing number immediately so that we can ship your items for you. Don't worry, we'll call you to set up pickup times]. I know she means well, but honestly, I don't need more stuff [Sign up today for FREE STUFF from hundreds of major brands! Some restrictions may apply]. My apartment is just too small [REFINANCE your home loan TODAY! Federal rates have never been lower, and our records show you're paying too much! Or buy a dream home instead - with our low rates, even you can afford it, too! Stop worrying, start buying!]

Anyway, can't wait to see you! [Mr. jillygagnon, see into the future with your FREE PSYCHIC READING! We predict you will not be able to pass this amazing deal by!]

Lots of love, [Hello, friend, it's me again. I've sent you all the files you asked for. Please download them to your computer immediately, because we're buddies. How's that thing we talked about? Cool. So just download them, then.]

-Jilly [Are you paying too much for JILLY GAGNON? Get the best deals on JILLY GAGNON, and penis enhancement, with our FREE TRIAL today. Just send us your account number and download these files immediately.]