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James Moore

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Crazy Down in Texas

Posted: 07/31/2012 10:25 am

Team Texas Crazy is about to pick up a few new players.

If polling trends are accurate, Tea Party crush Ted Cruz, who thinks there is a conspiracy to rid America of its golf courses, is about to toss over Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst in a GOP U.S. Senate runoff election. Dewhurst, an out of touch multi-millionaire who thinks Phoenix is the number two kidnap capital of the world behind Mexico City, has spent almost $20 million of his personal fortune for what may be a huge embarrassment. The shame won't be Dewhurst's alone, however. Governor Rick Perry, who needs rich guy supporters in the U.S. Senate for his next presidential run, (yes, that will happen), has endorsed Dewhurst.

Cruz is a conspiracy theory character. He is convinced billionaire George Soros is funding a secret agenda to shutdown golf courses because they harm the environment and is conspiring with the United Nations to eliminate national sovereignty and private property. Cruz is convinced sharia law is an enormous problem in the U.S. and that extending unemployment benefits creates more unemployment and that churches ought to be able to keep their tax exemptions even as they endorse candidates from the pulpit.

Cruz came out of nowhere as a first-time candidate with little money and no name identification with voters. Texas establishment Republicans acquired him as their political problem as a consequence of their own behavior. They gerrymandered legislative districts so profoundly during redistricting that a court case challenging the new lines dragged out the primary election day from early March to late May, which gave Cruz time to polish his ranting points and fire up the Tea Party. If the election had been held as scheduled, Dewhurst, a former CIA agent, would have handily won. But he simply isn't conservative enough or sufficiently crazy for the radicals taking control of the Texas GOP.

But how much crazy is required in a state that gave America Rick Perry?

Perry leads a Texas Republican Party that wants to abolish critical thinking and supports corporal punishment in public schools as well as cutting taxpayer funding of education to near elimination while ending the minimum wage. The party seems to have already begun to practice no critical thinking within its membership; the political nut tent that is the Texas GOP views homosexuality as a "practice," (maybe like critical thinking?), and believes it tears down the fabric of society. Before the party platform was finally approved there had been discussions about making gay marriage a felony and prosecuting any state official that might conduct a ceremony between same sex couples. Texas is estimated to have 9,000 same sex couples raising children but, unfortunately for them, the majority party in the state does not view them as families nor does it believe they deserve protection under the law.

That's just not crazy enough, though.

And the crazy crowd is increasing. St. Senator Jeff Wentworth, who is viewed as moderate in Texas even though he supports guns on college campuses, is also expected to lose his runoff to the Tea Party darling Donna Campbell. A physician, Dr. Campbell vehemently opposes abortion, even in cases of rape or incest. Wentworth, who has been in the state senate for two decades, made the dangerous political choice to work with his colleagues on the other side of the aisle on matters of choice and the environment. When he loses, the thinking public could reasonably make an argument to padlock the Texas Senate Chamber to keep its officeholders away from meeting and unleashing the legislative loony.

Cruz and Dewhurst spent the last days of the campaign to take their intellectual imbalances to Washington by running to be photographed buying sandwiches from the anti-gay fast food franchise Chick-fil-A, which knows a great deal more about how to make a sandwich than issues confronting people with same-sex orientation. Regardless, frying chicken expertise in Texas translates to knowledge about biology and the history of human institutions like marriage. These are undoubtedly constant topics of conversation over the fryer.

Winning will elevate Cruz to a national figure that will motivate Tea Party radicals from the rocky coast of Maine to the sunny shores of California and America will see that down in Texas we know how to deliver the crazy. (Of course, it could have a residual positive impact by reducing the migration of newcomers from both the north and south of our borders.) Unfortunately for Perry, Cruz's victory will be a repudiation of the governor's endorsement of his colleague and Perry will have something else to fret about other than his 29 percent approval rating in the polls. And Texans get the solace of knowing that they live in a state where policy and politics are driven by fast food chicken franchises.

Hey America, y'all want some chicken?

Also at: http://www.moorethink.com

 
 
 

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Team Texas Crazy is about to pick up a few new players. If polling trends are accurate, Tea Party crush Ted Cruz, who thinks there is a conspiracy to rid America of its golf courses, is about to toss...
Team Texas Crazy is about to pick up a few new players. If polling trends are accurate, Tea Party crush Ted Cruz, who thinks there is a conspiracy to rid America of its golf courses, is about to toss...
 
 
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04:40 PM on 08/01/2012
Good thing the good ole boys club is being undone!!!
09:23 AM on 08/01/2012
If Texas was thier own country how many days you think it'd take to fall apart? 3, 4?
08:49 AM on 08/01/2012
I miss Molly Ivins.....
08:48 AM on 08/01/2012
This is another point supporting the theory that maybe - just maybe - these folks don't really care about leading lawmaking or even winning an election, they're just doing it for the money because crazy PAYS. BIG....have you ever listened to any of it and thought it was almost whimsical to hear - that there was no way that could possibly be heartfelt? That crowd demonstrates that they will shower their 'champions' with contributions for simply espousing their BS in public discourse. Everyone else simply can't compete with the money they're willing to burn - even if they don't really have much of it - they'll give it as long as they hear the wacky s*** they want to.
07:01 AM on 08/01/2012
The GOP vote between Dewhurst & Tea Party Ted Cruz was a bad choice for who ever you voted for.

As Jerry Garcia said - " Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil".

Lord help the state of Texas, let's pray for a heavy Democratic turnout in November.
07:00 AM on 08/01/2012
Will you effing Texans PLEASE secede, already?
09:36 AM on 08/01/2012
That would be great! The crazies will all be attracted to Texas and the real country will be able to move forward.
04:45 AM on 08/01/2012
Crazy is as crazy does.
Oh, we'll do it, all right.
We're Texans.

Since Ann Richards lost to George Bush this state has done a nosedive in intelligence and common sense.
07:13 AM on 08/01/2012
And how can we turn that around?
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White Raven
Eyeballs are tasty
03:14 AM on 08/01/2012
I don't know that I believe Cruz is as crazy as the press on him says. What I do believe is that Dewhurst was a worse choice.

Now to see who the Democrats put up.
01:57 AM on 08/01/2012
does that guy really have a conspiracy theory about golf courses?

am i in a dream? can there really be that many crazy people heading for elected office?
apoyo
Micro-bio? Sounds serious.
01:18 AM on 08/01/2012
Maybe I shouldn't go home yet (Texas) and sit tight in Florida.

What am I saying???
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armywifee
From the Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
01:09 AM on 08/01/2012
If it weren't so sad it would be as entertaining as The Gong Show......
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
George Kaplan Observes
Witness to the fascinating Parade of Humanity
02:34 AM on 08/01/2012
I live here. It's pretty ... let's say, remarkable, to observe.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Louis Ruoti
Prejudices are what fools use for reason
01:04 AM on 08/01/2012
Texas has always been big on their right to secede from the union. It's part of their rightful Texas heritage.

Please feel free to exercise that right at any time.

And don't come running back to the union when your health care system ( for which you beloved Governor Perry has said he will not accept Medicaid from the Fed. ACA funding for the 25% uninsured) breaks down because the hospital ER's are overrun.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
joshdiesel
No man is an island. NOTHING is done alone!
04:45 AM on 08/01/2012
Yes please! Let all the crazy republicans and tea parties have Texas. Pleeeease! Then the rest of us who operate on logic and reason can deal with the issues of today and not the ones of 1152.
07:14 AM on 08/01/2012
As a Texan, please don't. I don't want to have to pick up and move.
12:57 AM on 08/01/2012
I wonder whether Texans realise what utter and complete laughingstocks- and butt of jokes they've become- not only abroad, but in saner regions of the United States.
11:08 AM on 08/01/2012
Yes, we know. There are some sane ones here but we are out numbered. Maybe some of our Dem friends from around the country will move here to help us out!
12:14 AM on 08/01/2012
What is interesting is that as the GOP in Texas gets more extreme, their support by the electorate does not seem to wane. In California, as the GOP became more conservative, they lost their political attraction. Now some are wondering if the GOP will become a minor party in California. So, why is Texas so different? It is as if there is no limit how right wing a politician can be there. If a candidate supported re-introducing slavery and a titled aristocracy, would they still get elected? I bet they would in Texas.
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
LiberalBuzz
Voting republican is voting against America.
12:00 AM on 08/01/2012
The entire South is losing it's collective mind. I have a nightmare where we end up with a divided country in actuality. Not politically but one where laws are passed denying rights and there actually comes a time when traveling through the South could be taking your life in your hands with regards to civil liberties and rights.

As I read more and more of these TeaBabbler more ons taking control of our House and Senate, for the first time in my life I an actually in fear for the future of my country. These people are extremists that are ten times anything they ever screeched about liberals and progressives.

And some of you can go off on this thing about Godwins Law, but I tell you these people are making this come true.

They are working overtime to restrict rights, taking more and more hardlines against minorities, rigging elections against minorities, working to restrict a woman's reproductive rights, blaming the woes of the country and minorities and for god's sake, teachers, firemen and police and unions. Cozing up to to the ultra wealthy white people who control the money in this country, trying to claim the military is conservative and should have the right to refuse orders from presidents they don't agree with (unless the president is a conservative which then makes you a traitor).

In other words everyone is to blame for what is wrong except them and their hardline against compromise and working together to solve this country's problems and as such are drawing a bright line in the sand that is daring anyone to cross or they will destroy them.

This hardline destroys democracy and works to ensure a dictatorship that there will not be a return from.

There is no doubt in my mind that people who kowtow to the hardline of the Teababblers are the most dangerous people to our great American democratic republic. That if allowed to continue without question will divide this country unlike any time our history and I am afraid we will see violence by the right due to their insane hatred of liberals, democrats and progressives.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
joshdiesel
No man is an island. NOTHING is done alone!
04:50 AM on 08/01/2012
You hit it on the head, my man. It's gonna be a sight for sure. As a society, I really though that mindless racism, sexism, blind obedience to the church and homophobia was for the ignorant few. The modern GOP sure has taught is that the number of people who really do wish that the south had won the war is truly astounding.