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Jim Wallis

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Christians and Bullying: Standing With Gays and Lesbians

Posted: 10/21/10 04:25 PM ET

My mother used to give us kids two instructions:

  1. If there is a kid on the playground that nobody else is playing with -- you play with them.

  2. If there is a bully picking on other kids -- you be the one to stand up to him or her.

Those two principles have served me well. And I can almost hear my mother's voice sometimes... like now.

On Wednesday, I wore purple. I was speaking at North Park University, an evangelical Christian college, with Tim King, my colleague and a former student there. I was pleased to see them passing out purple ribbons and announcing why just before chapel.

So I joined thousands of others across the country who believe that bullying should never be tolerated at any time, at any place, or for any reason. I wore purple to commemorate "Spirit Day," in memory of the many young people who have taken their own lives as a result of harassment and bullying inflicted on them because they are gay. I wore purple because I am a follower of Christ.

A bully is a person who habitually intimidates, harasses, or commits violence against those who are smaller, weaker, or more vulnerable because of their "outsider" status. A bully stands in opposition to all of what Christ taught and lived. There is broad opposition within the Christian community to bullying, especially the sort that leads to the deaths we have seen as of late. This sort of harassment is indefensible. And the stories of young kids being so bullied that they take their own lives have been heartbreaking to hear.

But, to paraphrase Christ, if you oppose bullying, what reward will you get? Isn't everybody against it? If all you do is say that you shouldn't harass someone until they kill themselves, are you really doing more than others?

The fact that bullies target gay and lesbian people should mean that Christians give extra attention to protecting and standing up for them. The fact that any community or group of people is regularly the target of harassment and hate means Christians should be on the front line of defense against any who would attack.

But, most bullies don't know that they are bullies. A bully might think that his or her words don't matter that much or affect others that greatly. A bully might think that he or she is being funny or just kidding around. A bully might think that he or she is just saying what everyone is thinking or speaking out about what everyone thinks.

There is disagreement within the Christian community when it comes to issues of human sexuality. But, there should be a united front against all who would disrespect, disparage, or denigrate anyone created in the image of God.

I hope you will join me in prayer for the family and friends of every young person who has taken their own lives. I hope you will join me in a message of hope for any person who has been teased, harassed, or bullied by another because of his or her sexual orientation. More than that, no matter what your views of homosexuality are, I hope you will join with me in standing in the way between bullies and their victims.

At an evangelical Christian college in the Midwest, there was a lot of purple yesterday. And the airline security official who checked my boarding pass saw my purple ribbon and said, "I see you're wearing purple today, that's a good thing."

Last week, I was taking my boys to school and raised the issue of the bullying and gay teen suicides to see what they had heard about it. My 12-year-old Luke, of course, knew all about it; while 7-year-old Jack hadn't heard yet. But Jack spoke of a boy on the playground of his school who was sometimes a bully to others. Before I could say a word, Luke said to his little brother, "Now Jack, you need to talk to him. He will respect and listen to you because you are an athlete, a good student, and very popular. Kids who are strong need to be the ones who stand up for those who get bullied. Jack, part of our job is to make sure nobody gets bullied at our school. Understand?" Jack said, "Yes," and I could just feel his grandmother smiling.

portrait-jim-wallisJim Wallis is the author of Rediscovering Values: On Wall Street, Main Street, and Your Street -- A Moral Compass for the New Economy, and CEO of Sojourners. +Click here to get email updates from Jim Wallis.

 
 
 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nina Platter
,
06:23 PM on 10/30/2010
I thought this was such a great article, it all comes tothe point of being Kind to each other, and showing respect. I believe in a God full of Grace, Love and Mercy. If the adults start taking more care in how they treat each others, and how they speak , then the children will follow. As one of the comments here made about a student bully, was taught by his older brothers how to be a bully!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WarriorLemming
An avalanche On Republican's B*llsh*t Mountain
04:59 AM on 10/30/2010
Jim Wallis, we all should have been so blessed to have a mother like yours--especially the bullies.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jaybeejayarh
10:54 PM on 10/26/2010
I agree with the general sentiment and Wisdom of His mother Christ ate with sinnners not the bulles the Pharessees, or the Saducees. He actually ridiculed the bullies of the Jewish religion and they didn't like it I am sad that anyone would committ suicide because of a Bully or bullies I was bullied and found that when I stood up to them (I may have lost some fights I meam been beat up) but afterwords they left me alone and when I ienterviened between them and other children they generally turnned tale and left. I still have a indention in the back of my skull when one bully hit me with a wooden baseball bat He was suspendeded and when His father came home three weeks later from Veitnam he draged his son over by the ear and made him appologize and we even became friends in the seventh grade when our fathers were stationed together at Pope U.S.Air Force Base. in N.C.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jaybeejayarh
10:33 PM on 10/26/2010
There is no disagreement between Christians on Homosexuality only false Christians recognize Homosexuality as being a normal behavior these false Christians Don't believe the Bible and most don't believe jesus was anything more than a Rabbi. Now there is another group who also are False Christians Led by the K.K.K. and Westboro UNbaptist they donly use pieces of the Biblle to agree with their missinterpretation. All real Christian shun Bullying, and also show compasion to those chained by the lies of Satan to a lifestyle that is degridating to each of thos who practice it. I have helpped those dying of AIDS and am saddened by the lies liberals keep telling to ensnare new recruits daily. Homosexuals will be judged just as all sinners will be at the Great White Throne Judgment so I will not judge them I will tell them what I believe but they have a freewill to choose their final destination and in fact I have several Homosexual friends who know where I stand and what I believe I also have soom former Homosexual Friends who have found freedom in Hetrosexual lifestyles. The Main point I am trying to make is that alot of liberals don't know the differance between a real Christian and a False Christians and that is the real problem sin abounds where there is loose morality.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WarriorLemming
An avalanche On Republican's B*llsh*t Mountain
05:09 AM on 10/30/2010
"Interpretation" is a dangerous thing--who has wisdom.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Gay Pagan Man, Living Happily With Husband
07:37 PM on 11/08/2010
You know what? I don't care about your White Throne Judgement. WHy? I m not Christian. Your Bronze Age beliefs should not be allowed to run my life. And your so called "ex-gay" friends have only learned to alter behaviour. If they end up attracted to the opposite sex at some point, they are bisexual not gay or lesbian. I don't need your "compassion" as my Goddess accepts me just as I am. There is nothing wrong with me but there is something certainly wrong with people who feel that they have to change someone to conform to their view of morality. Leave people who are not harming you in an way ALONE.
04:24 PM on 10/26/2010
Thank god for religious leaders like Mr. Wallis. All the articles I've read of his have been heartfelt and openminded, and he has become one of the few religious leaders that I respect. I think his message holds true for many groups, not just the glbt community. Look at all the headlines about protests over the building of mosques and hate towards Muslims, the presence of racism in the world, and gender bias. Mr. Wallis' mother's advice should be true for ALL people.
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Siren Song
Extinction is forever
01:46 AM on 10/26/2010
Your mother was most wise. Would that more parents instilled such common sense and kindness in their children.
11:31 AM on 10/25/2010
Neither Jesus nor any Bible hero bullied anyone, but they all did preach repenting--changing from sin to holiness--as mandatory. However nicely we give this warning to any kind of sinner (starting with ourselves, but not always ending there), including sexual sinners (and I suspect SOME Christian noise about homosexuals is targeting a sin that doesn't tempt US the way divorce and hetero or solitary fornication do), warning is loving and silence is a failure to love.

And is all the bullying on one side? I heard on Neal Boortz this morning that Michigan's Department of Landlord Bigotry (they don't call it that, of course) is going after someone who put a notice on a church bulletin board asking for a Christian roomate. It's one thing to stop sending the police after homosexuals; it's another to start sending them after people who draw any king of line against homosexual behavior near where they are.

And, off topic, might I mention that Jesus is libertarian? He gave his life to pay for his own program; he did not crucify the taxpayers. (wwww.lohr84.com)
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
dancingstu
Christian, liberal lawyer
05:19 PM on 10/25/2010
I'm curious why some Christians consider homosexuality a sin, when Jesus had absolutely nothing to say on the topic. The authority that these people seem to rely on the most is in the Old Tesament, but these Old Testament Christians don't follow most of the other laws declared in the Old Testament.

Why is that?

Oh well. My church and my parents' churches will continue to be open to gay people, and my parents, who are both ministers, will continue to perform same-sex unions until the states where they live legalize gay marriage.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JustMyWords
05:57 PM on 10/25/2010
And another oddity. I have acquaintances who regularly demonize Muslims for their 'evil religion' based on the fact that there are verses in the Koran that condone violence, while arguing that Christianity doesn't have to admit to its own violence because the New Testament effectively wipes out the Old. But these same people sure seem to be quick to grab onto Old Testament condemnations when it suits them.
11:20 AM on 10/27/2010
Romans 1:18-32 Has quite a lot to say about homosexuality and the consequences of accepting it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
loganhunter
01:32 PM on 10/28/2010
Jesus was not a libertarian. shees!
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MadAs
Tuned-in science editor
01:00 AM on 10/25/2010
Hey Doc, agree but on this, "most bullies don't know that they are bullies," I sense a "no."

No, it's a nice positive sort of thing to promote but not quite right. These are the same dudes smiling as they show their peers how "funny" the butterfly moves when its wings have been pulled off.

Is there a sad element, that some of them might once have themselves been those butterflies, or might it more often be that the wing-pullers are from a different place in space?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
feliznavidad
Fierce liberal
10:00 AM on 10/25/2010
I agree. Bullies know they are bullies, and are proud of it. They are arrogant in their evil.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nina Platter
,
06:53 PM on 10/30/2010
I always had a problem with my weight growing up, and every chance a bully had I got it in the chops. I am sure if i had grown up pretty and perfect my self image would not have suffered so many hits. If I hadnt I wouldnt have a heart that breaks when I hear about these kids killing themselves because they are not what the world wants. And maybe I would have been a bully instead of acking when I hear the stories of beatings and horror stories surrounding school shootings etc. I may not be anyone special or perfect, but my tears are for people out there who are suffering under bullies.
Life is so short, I hope we can all act and be better.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Gay Pagan Man, Living Happily With Husband
07:42 PM on 11/08/2010
You are a lovely lady and speak words of wisdom. Fanned and faved.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
elijah24
Ubuntu
10:46 PM on 10/24/2010
Yet another brilliant piece by Rev. Wallis. He is one of the very few religious leaders that I deeply respect. And he's one who gives me hope that interfaith alliances for the good of humanity are possible.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RKTesq
Commercial Litigator, San Francisco
08:12 PM on 10/24/2010
God don't like nobody who ain't like me! 'Cuz I'm speshul!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Godweiser
The eyes have it.
07:19 PM on 10/24/2010
I beg to differ, bullies know what they're doing and why; to tear others down to make themselves look bigger, stronger and cooler.

And I generally agree with this sentiment of Christians sorting out their own bullies so we don't have to. Though to be perfectly honest about it, I don't expect much more than fine sounding piety issued mostly out of a concern for unflattering publicity.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
dancingstu
Christian, liberal lawyer
05:22 PM on 10/25/2010
"Though to be perfectly honest about it, I don't expect much more than fine sounding piety"

Apart from denouncing bias and bullying against homosexuals in articles and in lectures at universities, what would you suggest?

Have you done as much to try to combat bullying against homosexuals?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Godweiser
The eyes have it.
06:24 PM on 10/25/2010
Barking up the wrong tree. When I was 16, I was friends, in Texas, with two openly gay guys whom I defended to the detriment of my popularity, giving the jocks and the kickers plenty of opportunity to give me problems personally. I once told a man outright that if he had problems with homosexuals, maybe he oughta look inward and figure out what the root of that problem is; when he realized I was saying he had unresolved issues, he broke my nose. In my business dealings, I had a gay client and a homophobic client and lost the homophobic client, because the homophobe made it clear he'd drop my business and shop elsewhere; I told him that everyone had a right to shop at my business and persisted in giving the gay man, buying a gift for his wedding (he'd let it slip he was getting this for the wedding,) a discount by way of congratulations.

I donate to the Human Rights Campaign regularly and was active in helping the campaign for gay marriage in Maine, where I have much family.

I walk the walk, not only when the wind is blowing in that direction like so many of you preachy types, with your compassion of convenience. I've taken a busted nose, all kinds of insults and the loss of business as the price of my convictions, and no smarmy little conservative like you is ever going to take the pride of being right away from me.
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ascanius001
05:53 PM on 10/24/2010
Love the Christian. Hate the Christianity.
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Nina Platter
,
07:09 PM on 10/30/2010
At first I didnt like what you said, but that actually makes sence. It is the persons intention as a Christian to be Christ like, since that is what the word actually means. It is dependent on what church you go to and your parents stands that influence how we react to our life conflicts. Wheither it is moral issues, or personal interactions we function by our greatest influences.
I was raised in a well balanced home, no big issues, Christian church. But I have needed some 50 years to find myself, and I still have to stand up to the Concervitives, the so called church.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GeoNorth
Some say I'm an enigma, but I'm not easily figured
05:02 PM on 10/24/2010
My son is a rather outspoken student, especially for a junior highschooler. He speaks out for civil rights for all, marijuana legalization, and most of all, for a government for the people, by the people. He does not trust tea baggers. The teachers allow his outspoken views as long as he can logically support his views with facts. (He's a real political pistol!)

Last year, in sixth grade, there was a boy who was giving my son a hard time because he spoke about civil rights for all, including gays. My son complained to the teacher who kept them separated. It didn't stop the other kid who continued to make kissing noises and such. My son got up, walked over to the kid and calmly asked, "Did you cultivate this personality, or were you born a f**king a$$hole?" loud enough for the class to hear but not loud enough to sound like a taunt. The teacher, who told me of the incident, simply smiled. The truth is, the kid is not a "born" bully, but learned to be one from lunkhead brothers.

I'm glad we have enlightened teachers. And I'm proud of my son.
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SocratesFan
Elitist who loves books and learning
06:25 PM on 10/24/2010
Save that kid! This country's going to need more of those children so they can grow up into people who actually give a crud about respect, compassion, decency, intelligence, etc...because for every bullying kid that isn't stopped, he'll grow up into someone who not only makes life miserable for everyone else, but literally reverses reality so it's the fault of the decent people. We have too many of those citizens in this country already.
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papapj
..light as a feather..
01:08 AM on 10/26/2010
Attaboy!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JShankel
I want my country forward
02:42 PM on 10/24/2010
The time to stand up to the bullies is when the bullying is actually happening. Not after kids end up dead.

So yes, I will stand with you between the bullies and their victims. The next time the Pope says that pedophilia is the result of too much homosexuality in the church, the next time we have a natural disaster and the media trots out the HeritageHeads to say that God uses weather patterns to punish societies that accept homosexuality, the next time a good righteous person of God goes on about how the love the sinner but hate the sin...that they love who someone is but hate WHAT they are, the next time multiple churches campaign in a state to deny equal protection under the law to gay couples, the next time anyone says that God disapproves of homosexuality, I'll be looking for you to stand against this bullying.

The bullying starts from the pulpit, the dinner table, the field. Bullies are not just these things that emerge from nowhere like the enemies in a video game. They learn what will work. They pick on the vulnerable. WE are the ones who make people vulnerable, but letting bullies know what we approve and disapprove of.

Bullies are the messengers. They reveal our bigotry to us. Prove them wrong.
02:05 PM on 10/24/2010
What's the difference between a culture that stones a woman to death for loving who she wants and a culture that bullies a teen to death for loving who he/she wants? It's time for Americans to Equal Rights and Respect for LGBT as for any other American.