Being back in Massachusetts has given me a lot of free time to think about where I've been, and where I am in my life, and truth be told, reflections can oftentimes be a lonely place to visit ~ especially around occassions like ThanksGiving.
My brother was meant to fly back with me for the Big Dinner this year, but he chose to stay in LA and when I called him on ThanksGiving day, he told me he was going to spend it alone, make himself a nice dinner and even a delicious pie for dessert and not leave his apartment.
At first when I heard this, I was sad that he was all alone and wished he was back home celebrating with us, or even with friends in LA, but at this stage in our lives, I have to believe he knows what his soul most needs.
I know it seems like the holydays are "better" or sometimes even "easier" celebrating with others, or for many, to be shared "with that special someone" ~ but I think we sometimes misinterpret those precious moments when the universe is gifting us with an opportunity to be on our own, to really be " alone " ~ and know without question "that special someone" is really ourselves...
When I first heard of my brother being alone on ThanksGiving, I initially perceived it as "lonely" or "sad" because most of us don't delve deeply enough into our own being to know how incredibly special and sacred our own self REALLY is. We're so busy looking for someone else to complete us, we sometimes miss the moment by wondering about who we're gonna share that moment with.
Maybe the real gift is being able to be alone, to really be in a moment with self and feel at peace in that place, and know in ones heart that you are perfect, you are whole and you are complete with OR without anyone else in the room.
It's taken forty years to embrace the special someone that is really ME, and even when I get glimpses of it, usually through the eyes and hearts of real friends, it never seems to last long enough. Probably because for far too long I have listened to fearful innervoices from a childhood that taught me how to run and hide from the very thing I came in this world to share ~ myself
So as another meal of opportunity came to a close, this ThanksGiving with eyes wide open, I was able to see something more than the food on my plate. I saw my brother celebrating his own great self worth, not in a sad or lonely way, but in a most divine and glorious one.
How beautiful the moment when we are able to prepare a meal and a delicious pie for dessert, not just for the joy and appreciation of others, but for the joy and appreciation of ourselves.
Because until we really love and embrace the self we are, we probably rarely see the extraordinary gift everyone else truly is.
So if you find yourself during the holydays "being alone" ~ perhaps that's the moment the universe is asking you to remember and embrace the greatest gift it can ever give, the awareness of all that is extraordinary and unique,
of all that is old and new,
of all that is birthless and deathless, of all that is ~ YOU.
Jimmy Demers
November, 2009
www.jimmydemers.com