iPhone app iPad app Android phone app Android tablet app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Joan Blades

GET UPDATES FROM Joan Blades
 

Reweaving the Fabric of our Society

Posted: 05/22/2012 2:17 pm

Some people say that Richard Lugar lost his Senate seat because he worked with Democrats. No wonder Congressional approval is at an all time low. Winning for politicians too often means failing the citizens they are employed to serve. Think budget crisis. Think immigration reform. Even judicial nominations have been radically politicized. Most of us agree that D.C. dynamics have got to change for the U.S. to solve the real challenges we confront and to retain our leadership role in the world.

Political leaders and the media are failing us on so many levels. Although you'd never know it from viewing the daily partisan fight on cable TV, all Americans have a great deal in common. But our understanding of politics, economics, science and even basic facts is increasingly disparate. We cannot afford to continue on this path. A healthy democracy requires an educated electorate that shares basic truths and values -- or at least is willing to sit down and listen to one another with an open mind, with mutual respect and civility.

There is hope. Quietly, and without fanfare, groups and individuals are reaching out to each other. I've been involved with one such effort, called "Living Room Conversations." In the format of a Living Room Conversation, one self-identified "conservative" and one self-identified "progressive" co-host each invite two friends of similar political ideologies to join a structured conversation. They learn about each other and talk about an issue of their choice. Six people, friends and friends of friends, that's all it takes.

Having seen these conversations in action, I believe that people of good will with different viewpoints can build a foundation for changing our path. We can rediscover a shared vision of a future that is good for us all, remember that we can respect and like neighbors who hold different views, and even start identifying shared solutions to the enormous challenges we face.

Diverse groups are now preparing to encourage Living Room Conversations among their members about issues like healthy food, climate and energy, civility, and money in politics. It's hard to anticipate results, but trial conversations about energy found agreement across partisan lines on conserving energy and growing our renewable energy. Conversations about money in politics revealed consensus on the need for transparency. If the insights from hundreds and even thousands of conversations are shared, we could help give good leaders the "transpartisan" foundation they need to make good policy.

Obviously, initiatives like these are unabashedly optimistic and will even be called starry-eyed and naive. And yes, there are all sorts of barriers to success. Our communities have become so insulated that many people no longer have friends with different political affiliations. And people who do have friends with different views are reluctant to talk about potentially divisive issues. The good news is that pilot conversations have happened, were all successful, and led to new insights as well as interest in further conversations for most participants. In fact, people of different political stripes typically discover that they like each other, are relieved to be able to discuss topics that have become taboo, and often find common ground.

While the traditional media loves fights, the new and emerging social media loves connections. We can leverage the wisdom and creativity of crowds to find win-win solutions to our common problems. We can scale our efforts to tens of thousands of conversations, giving individuals the power to begin to reweave the social fabric of our communities.

Joan Blades is co-founder of MoveOn.org. and MomsRising.org. She recently co-authored The Custom-Fit Workplace:Choose When Where and How to Work and Boost Your Bottom Line winner of a Nautilus book award http://customfitworkplace.org/. She also co-wrote The Motherhood Manifesto which won the Ernesta Drinker Ballard Book Prize in 2007. She is a co-creator of Living Room Conversations http://livingroomconversations.org/, software entrepreneur, nature lover, former attorney/mediator, artist, mother and true believer in the power of citizens and our need to rebuild respectful civil discourse while embracing our core shared values.

 
 
 
FOLLOW POLITICS
 
 
  • Comments
  • 24
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
07:21 PM on 06/29/2012
Two quick thoughts: 99.99% of all media outlets are "for profit" corporations, and therefore only have a fiduciary duty to drive their stock price up. For them, it's not about balanced reporting; it's about the balance sheet.

On unifying through community-based interactions, this is definitely a growing movement. Recently, Coffee Party USA redefined their mission statement as "Connecting communities to reclaim our government for the People." Today, the game is rigged in favor of those empowered to control the national dialog; specifically, large corporations and über-wealthy individuals who use Super PACs to buy the 1% media who, as mentioned earlier, is only interested in making money. It's truly a match made in hell.

The only thing they can't control is the internet and its virtually limitless social media outlets. But we must remember the lessons of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and its Senate companion, the Protect IP Act (PIPA) that would have granted the government the power to take down any website they wanted. And remember (with joy!) the counter-offensive launched by Wikipedia and other industry giants in the form of an “Internet Blackout” that shut these bills down? Go team internet!

So yes! Let's band together in a grass roots movement and vote out all who would look to pedal influence and control the conversation. Also, let’s vow to turn off our television and use the vast resources of the internet to BECOME the media that NO ONE can control.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Nadine B. Hack
CEO beCause Global Consulting
02:43 AM on 05/27/2012
Living Room Conversations is a wonderful initiative to restore civil dialogue to our society. We need such efforts to bring people with differing views to discuss in a constructive way how to come to consensus or at least to have respect for a well-thought out opposing perspective.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bellalina
Let the good times roll..no really we need some
09:46 AM on 05/23/2012
Well this is nice, but considering that most people traditionally fall more towards the middle of political thought and have for quite some time, apparently you are some of the few who did not know this. Conversations like this are happening all over the nation everyday, everywhere. Most people are tired of the Dem vs GOP sports games. We all just want jobs that pay bills, good health coverage, education benefits, a nice place to call home a great car to drive and an over all happy life. Travel would be nice even. The ones who need to have these conversations are Corporate leaders, banksters, politicians, and apparently media experts.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Gold Standard = four paws and a tail
10:11 AM on 05/23/2012
Based on your use of the highly pejorative word "bankster" one can assume you have a distinctly liberal bent. By using this word you have just guaranteed that anyone who didn't already agree with you would certainly have no interest in anything you say going forward.

If we want to have honest, respectful dialogue we really must stop using conversation enders.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bellalina
Let the good times roll..no really we need some
08:41 AM on 05/24/2012
I like many of you comments and well you are very accurate on many things, but I am not a liberal. Just a victim of the current banking fraud that is running rampant throughout our society. When I first read the word bankster my heart sang. That absolutely is the distinguishing word I needed to separate the good people in banking trying to provide a service and make the world a better place, from those who are using our banking system to destroy so many lives. As long as real people are being hurt by their actions, I can't dignify their position in society. So I hope we can go forward with a better understanding of one another.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Gold Standard = four paws and a tail
06:21 AM on 05/23/2012
Entirely admirable concept but too little and too late. For the last 30 years we have been dividing ourselves into like-thinking communities, districts, states and regions. Per Bill Bishop in his book "The Big Sort" in the last decade over 100 million people have moved from one county to another.

We are no longer anchored to a place by family ties. Have webcam will travel. You can talk to your nearest and dearest in San Francisco while sitting on your couch in Mobile--never getting wet or having to run into people you don't agree with.

California and Texas might as well be in different galaxies for all they have in common culturally. A poster on another site called it "voluntary self-Balkanization."

I think Paul Starobin has a much better plan in his article "Divided We Stand" published in the Wall Street Journal June 13, 2009. He suggests the US has simply become too big to govern either efficiently or effectively. Smaller more cohesive nations are running rings around us economically speaking, and we need to peacefully divide into ideologically similar regions for the purpose of governing everything except defense, foreign relations and certain treasury functions.
09:35 PM on 05/22/2012
No, I don't want to join a vast collective borg where we all compromise towards each other to create one glorious shared vision. I want to follow my own vision, and as long as my vision doesn't do you any harm, then you should respect my liberty to not compromise.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Gold Standard = four paws and a tail
06:21 AM on 05/23/2012
Which is precisely why the US has become too big to govern well. We need to peacefully divide into ideologically similar regions.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fiLthyLiberaLdotcom
Yes, it's a website for liberals.
07:21 AM on 05/23/2012
Baloney. Like that won't lead to the eventual armed conflict you desire.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bellalina
Let the good times roll..no really we need some
09:52 AM on 05/23/2012
I think you may be the first one I have seen to propose this on here. Few people know 25 states have proposed and debated succession legislation since the new millennium began. This theory has actual teeth and funding behind it. And considering the mess our government is in, becoming more well received. Why it is so important to become involved with local government. It can very well become more powerful then originally believed.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fearthebetenoire
Lying's like 95% of what I do. In your job? Sure.
08:28 PM on 05/22/2012
This is a good start, and Ms. Blades deserves credit for her efforts to encourage civil public discourse.

Readers interested in figuring out why there is so much disagreement and rancor might find interesting a book that examines the underlying psychological, anthropological and historical reasons that Americans seem so divided -- "The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion" by Jonathan Haidt. Understanding why we are so prone to violent political and religious disagreement may provide clues to help improve the quality and the chance of success of Ms. Blades initiative.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Gold Standard = four paws and a tail
07:56 AM on 05/23/2012
Agreed. I have read Haidt's book, and there is something in it to disliked by both conservatives and liberals--just not the same things.

With today's ability to move anywhere and tune in on the web or airwaves to only that with which we agree 24/7 I don't see any possibility of us all just getting along even though we are stuck here together on this planet and in the nation--as currently constituted.

The answer is not sitting around the fire singing "kumbayah". It is constructively dividing in order to move forward. Good fences make good neighbors. Frankly, I would be far happier in an independent region where I knew my taxes would be low, business would be encouraged and fecklessness would be punished.
photo
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
jmpurser
See My micro-bio
07:29 PM on 05/22/2012
That might work if the problem were an equal lack of understanding or if there was any will towards understanding.  But the Left understands the Right and the Right prefers their myths about the Left (and about all other things) to reality.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fiLthyLiberaLdotcom
Yes, it's a website for liberals.
07:23 AM on 05/23/2012
That is unfortunately true. When you meet a hard core righty and explain you position logically and truthfully, they accuse you of lying 9 times out of 10. They PREFER their mythology - it gives them more to hate.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Gold Standard = four paws and a tail
09:52 AM on 05/23/2012
It is not that there is a lack of understanding. I believe most Liberals and Conservatives understand each others positions quite well. There is a lack of agreement at any point. The entire gamut of liberal culture is anathema to a conservative and visa versa.

It is like telling an American they now have to accept and obey the entire panoply of culture--from religion, to politics, to child-rearing, to education, to cooking--of Outer Mongolia. We no longer meet at enough points to build any kind of bridge. As with constantly fighting siblings, the best we can hope for is that separation will at least keep the house quiet.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ben Wilson
What's the story mourning Tories?
06:05 PM on 05/22/2012
A brilliant concept, I may very well check it out. Too many ideas get rubbished on a partisan basis when they should be refined and negotiated and what an example to set if the people can get ahead in the field of constructive discourse leaving the politicans looking rather silly. My best friend is a conservative and I'm a socialist we enjoy a fierce debate but we have tempered one another and we can wrap things up in mutually agreeable way. So I know it's possible.
03:41 PM on 05/22/2012
I used to teach Argumentative Rhetoric to college freshman and sophmores. I tried to teach them that argument is NOT about absolute destruction of the opposition's position, that argument is a form of social responsibility that should be used by educated people to build society up not tear it down, and that the one thing needed to have an argument is that one must have common ground with those with whom you disagree in order to promote civil discourse. I tried to teach my students to always look at every aspect of an issue, that there are rarely any issues with a black and white answers and to always keep other perspectives in mind when forming their opinions. And to always, always have respect for others' views. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your grass roots effort to try and bring different or opposing views together for enlightment, learning and building a common base to help our broken, wounded society. We need it so much. I'm just dissapointed I didn't think of this first. It's perfect!!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
buzzardwhiskey
The US is failing too slowly to change her path
03:11 PM on 05/22/2012
This is the next educational frontier. Debate, in the classic sense, is limiting and destructive. Empathy and cooperative learning and emotional intelligence must be debate's cornerstone.
photo
darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
03:02 PM on 05/22/2012
Jesus, didn't Move On already do this with all those "meetings" and "events" at your neighbors' houses?

We gotta get organized folks , but what we really need are "leaders" who can creat the "narrative" that will unite the various splintered "special interest groups" of fragmented society.

You would think the Right had alienated and pissed off enough various people to form a Coherent and Cohesive Left, but it ain't happened yet. Mainly because we don't all agree on a basic Narrative the way the Old Left did pre-WWII.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fiLthyLiberaLdotcom
Yes, it's a website for liberals.
07:24 AM on 05/23/2012
The American worker needs more degradation, more humiliation, more working poor in poverty. A Mitt presidency will do it.
photo
darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
11:20 AM on 05/23/2012
Weirdly enough Economic Solidarity is the key. The ultra wealthy certainly have it. Class war should be the First war we fight.