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Michael, I Apologize


Michael, after seeing your moving memorial service I want to apologize to you. I must confess that I had prejudged you during those dark days of your 2005 molestation trial where the media painted you as a "wacko."

I had thought because of your eccentric behavior that you were somehow guilty of abusing young boys. After hearing the testimonies of some of your closest friends and family members, I can now see what a kind, gentle, generous, loving person you were.

I now believe that some vultures were out to make a financial killing from you and outside of a circle of close friends and family, the darker side of our human natures prevailed in our collective condemnation of you.

While it's true in your interview with Martin Bashir from NBC you admitted you had "pajama parties" with kids at your Neverland ranch, that doesn't mean it was sexual. It's unusual perhaps, but so was your life of early fame and childhood abuse.

The fact that you had treatment to lighten your skin was probably totally attributable to fighting your disease of "vitiligo" (an autoimmunity where the body rejects its pigment cells). The countless facial surgeries were no doubt a reaction to your father's mocking of your nose. I no longer believe you were trying to change your race from black to white.

I was particularly moved by the tributes of Brooke Shields, Smokey Robinson, the Reverend Al Sharpton and Berry Gordy. I also never knew that you had given so much to charities as pointed out by Kobe Bryant.

In a previous article I stated that perhaps you didn't love yourself. I still believe that but now I can see that you loved others and they loved you back immensely.

As the public, we only got to see one side of you as portrayed by the paparazzi. But as so many friends expressed at your memorial, there was a private, shy, caring, deep soul residing within you.

As many artists are, you were very sensitive. It must have killed you to have to go through that trial and be accused of being weird, perverted, and who knows what else.

However, I believe, as expressed by Jen Grisanti a Huffington Post blogger who commented on my last Michael Jackson article, that you "went through the darkness to get to the light."

Your music, dancing, and legacy has inspired countless fans. Your personal life hopefully can serve as a reminder that you were a human being subjected to the troubles and insecurities that we all face. The way you stood up to your critics and doubters and prevailed can also be an inspiration to us all.

MJ, I hope you can forgive me for my ignorance. I now believe that any man who could write "We Are the World" could never intentionally harm another human being, especially a child. The tearful tribute spoken by your daughter, Paris at the end of the memorial service says it all and shows how loved your were not just by your children but by the children of the world.

 
 
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02:58 AM on 07/12/2009
true, I admit to my own faults...I buy magazines that would contain the personal life of MJ which is invaded by the tabloids. The Tabloids didn't leave him alone because we, the public are feeding up the magazines.. I'm sorry MJ
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lynjs
Take each day as it comes. Tomorrow isn't promise
12:09 AM on 07/12/2009
Ms. Dowlin, you're one of the few that have owned up to not really understanding. What we all must understand that all of these celebrities, may they be athletes, musicians, film stars or self-proclaimed like Paris Hilton is that they are HUMAN.

They have feelings like everyone else. They have personal wishes and desires that can't be conceived because the spotlight is always on them.

Tom and Kate Cruise took Suri to the movies the other day. They were besieged by media. They're taking their kid to a movie for god's sake. Can't they do that in peace? I mean she's a kid.

Mr. Jackson never got the chance to go out to simple park, mall or family outing with his kids. We were too intrusive needing to know everything he did where he could be called eccentric or crazy to sell a few papers and for a higher ratings.

The sad thing about this is that We, the Public, will continue to be intrusive and hurt someone else, probably his kids because we're meddlesome and don't understand.
12:49 AM on 07/13/2009
Lynjs, I just can't even conceive what it must be like to be a popular star. As a private person, I would go nuts if the press hounded me that way they did MJ. Look what happened to Susan Boyle. She was so overwhelmed by the media, she had a nervous breakdown.
Some still blame the paparazzi for Princess Di's death.
You're right in that we need to remember these celebrities in the spotlight are human beings first.
12:42 PM on 07/11/2009
If MichaelJackson was guilty of anything, it was too much unselfishness and naivete. Yet he was surrounded by people with abundant selfishness and cynicism who made a lot of money off these "defects" in him.
I believe the truest historian of Michael may ultimately be Lisa Presley..She has already spoken about their loving and pretty "hot" relationsip. If you watch the film clips of them together you see a very different, more grown up Michael..He seemed to fall into a different way of life after their split, which I always believed hurt them both deeply.
As to the "sham" marriage gossip, give me a break..Lisa Marie definitely did not need the money or the publicity. I think she was probably one of the few people who could understand his childhood and his life. She herself has said that it was the vultures and enablers around Michael that drove her away.She also has stated that her children loved Michael and he loved them..
The second marriage was another story, I think that was to fulfill Michael's desire to be a parent. I think the world saw last week that he was a great one.
10:52 AM on 07/11/2009
I truly believe that Michael would still be with us, if not for those outrageous trials. I think they broke his spirit and his heart. His daughter said it all, no one could see those wonderful children and not realize what an amazing person he was. If there is any justice, his accuser's ill gotten gains will not bring them happiness in this world or the next.
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01:13 PM on 07/10/2009
He was mistreated. It was inhumane.
12:56 PM on 07/10/2009
Beautiful article...thank you so much for writing it.

While I agree that Michael had so much to overcome and so much to give the world (and did), I feel there is an even deeper, and braver story that the media is missing...how he dealt with Lupus and the pain associated with it. I fear they will only make him out to be an addict, but I have not heard anything that suggests he was into recreational drugs. And I do not think the drug abuse was only emotionally based though I suspect his tender, loving heart had much to deal with. I hope his fans will demand the media gives him a fair "trial" this time...he deserves at least that much. There has been comments about the Lupus from reputable sources, and the media just washes over it and goes right back to the "drugs" and whatever makes them money. Michael was a beautiful soul and he needs all of us to be his voice. What the media did to him in 2005 was disgusting...it should not happen again.
11:05 AM on 07/11/2009
Bg100 , you are so right..I have a dear friend that has been struggling with lupus for a long time.It can be a very serious disease, and even fatal, in come cases. She has pain, organ involvement, and skin issues..She also cannot be out in the sun. She is on a lot of medication. And she doesn't have to face the swarming paparazzi every time she goes out of her house or be expected to put on high energy performances for millions of people.. Since MJ's death she has said that if she had access to unlimited medication and doctors, there are plenty of days she would have gone that route..She also believes that her lupus was brought about by an extremely stressful and difficult time in her life.
06:35 AM on 07/10/2009
Thank you! MJ was a sweet soul and he was abused because many took the sweetness as a sign of weakness and they exploited it because they knew that people would quickly believe their lies because MJ was different; but as Rev. Al said "wasn't nuttin strange bout your daddy; what was strange was what he had to deal with - but he dealt with it..." and I believe MJ died of a broken heart. This is why he abused drugs. He was hated for being himself and that is just a tough thing for anyone to deal with. RIP MJ!
12:17 AM on 07/11/2009
You're welcome. I agree he was a sweet soul and a sensitive human being as many artists are. His heart did give out so it may have been broken as you said.
10:17 PM on 07/09/2009
I think apart of my upset against the media coverage of Michael, is that underneath it all; I believe the media thinks Michael got away with something, and some how it is their job to seek justice, and in doing so they forgot justice is also finding the truth and telling the truth. As someone who was a victim, it also upsets me that the media presents the idea that perpetrators's traits can be detected by their plastic surgery addictions, behaving strangely; strange behaviours that can be easily dicated by adults. In fact, perpetrators are not overtly strange at all, that how they able to get way with it, is that they blend into normal every day society and that is how they fool us, is that they play into our beliefs of what normal is and what normal looks like that we trust them. Normal: a priest, teacher, police,an uncle, a brother, your babysitter, these are people we are taught are normal...I have loved Michael since I was 5 years old and I when I went to University I went with a clear intention, of making a difference to fight against the Sexual exploitiation of Children, and I have done just that. I have never believed the allegations made against him, and if you notice most television programs, use tabloid reporters and lawyers as their expert analysis;why because the truth and informing the public is not what they are interested. So thank you Ms. Dowlin for this article.
09:56 PM on 07/09/2009
I'm really glad that some people are coming around re: MJ.

I never for one moment believed he molested anyone. I very much appreciate your thoughtful & insightful comments, Joan.
08:33 PM on 07/09/2009
At 8 years old Michael was driven to deliver perfection by the sting of a belt. And deliver it he did. In every performance, he wowed, thrilled, and fascinated millions. In spite of the dysfunction and the abuse, Michael had a lot of love to give. That leads me to believe there was love as well as punishment somewhere in that home. I never for one minute believed he was guilty of child molestation. He was guilty of naivety and guilty of a lack of social intelligence about appropriate behavior.
Did Michael want to be white? His ever changing appearance seems to say he always wanted to be anything other than what he was. No matter how beautiful he was, (and at some points in his life he was breathtakingly beautiful), he always wanted something more. I hope he has finally found the innocent love and the beauty he spent his life seeking.
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07:43 PM on 07/09/2009
Beautiful article. It is encouraging to know that the totality of the man is being recognized by many for the first time. There are still the harshly judgmental crowd who dismiss his accomplishments and generosity - and they have the right to do so of course. But again, I am so very glad that even a few people can finally see in MJ what I saw all along.
07:11 PM on 07/09/2009
That was really nice, & very kind. I felt that way myself. Nicely said!
03:29 PM on 07/09/2009
Oh God - just when I thought I was getting over the urge to cry every time I think about you - this lady had to go write an article and open up the dam. Everything in this article is what I have "felt" the entire time - a man so sensitive, so internally gentle in nature, that looked out at the harsh, cold world and must have thought himself a freak because of the way he was. We, all of us have a long way to go not only in nurturing such divine qualities but more importantly, not to set the stage where any child of God graced with such a gentle spirit could end up turning on himself... I don't know I just thought about this... but it could very well have been a prelude - for all those believing that Jesus will return... do you really think he could, after seeing what we as a species did to this beautiful spirit????

thank you for the apology...
09:38 PM on 07/09/2009
You're welcome. Apparently I'm not the only one who jumped to the conclusion he was guilty and is now questioning it. I remember seeing his interview with Martin Bashir and thinking what a gentle soul he was! He was child-like emulating Peter Pan (someone I used to relate to too.) I remember wanting to never grow up when I was a kid. Maybe that's another message MJ taught us.
01:52 PM on 07/09/2009
Joan, this article is so beautiful. I feel the same way. I was one of those people that believed the child molestation charges were true as well. How can a grown man sleep with children? He must be a pedophile. Now, I believe that Michael looked like a grown man, but was like a small child in the mind so he did not see anything wrong with sharing his room and bed with his friends. It seems to me that something traumatic happened when he was growing up and being a child was safer than growing up in this cruel world. Reflecting on it, I feel that if MJ was a pedophile, not only two boys would have been molested, but thousands. Look at the pedophiles in the Catholic Church. They see every child as a target and and they hurt so many children and yet they have not been condemned like Michael was. Many of the priest are still active in the Church. I wish Michael had had the opportunity to get therapy so that he would have learned to love himself and he would now be alive. We would be enjoying the great concerts he would have been part of. R.I.P MJ.
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11:42 AM on 07/09/2009
I'm a 47 year old black female, and I bought the condamnation of Michael Jackson, hook, line and sinker. Thank you for this artical, because I had the same epipany when I saw the true emotions of little miss Paris Jackson, kids are pure of heart and her heart felt tribute to her father, brought me to tears. I can not imagine how I would have dealt with such a devistating situation, perhaps I would have become reclusive, maybe left the country, became a drug addict, I think the country needs to do exactly what Michael sung about, we start with the man or woman in the mirror.