"A President Who Fights With You and for You"
I know what he meant. He meant that together we would fight for full equality and that he would advocate for us to get there. But the line is also true if you look at it the other way. Over the rest of his first term (this is how I like to think of it), he will continue to battle with the gay community. Because we are impatient.
Maybe the Obama administration didn't anticipate just how impatient our impatience would be. But it makes sense if you think about. Let's say you were locked out of a house for eight years. And then let's say that after those eight years, a man you saw as a kindred spirit, a community organizer just like you, opened the door and invited you in. You'd have a lot to say. And you'd try to say it loud and fast, worrying that the door may once again be slammed in your face.
Yesterday, several hundred of us -- gay leaders from all across the country -- were invited in. Literally. We were there to celebrate Gay Pride Month and the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall, a police raid in a gay bar in the West Village where the impatience of our community reached a tipping point. No president had ever invited a big bunch of us over for cocktails during Pride Month before. The event was remarkable. Historic. I was proud to be there. Proud to have my partner at my side.
He brought out the good china, he brought out his two most senior advisors (Jarrett and Axelrod). He brought out the baby lamb chops. They tried very hard. They even hired a DJ to play house music (OK, maybe they tried a little too hard).
"Welcome to your White House," the president said to those assembled. It was a smart move to invite us, it was strategic. And he no doubt bought himself some time, gave us a bit of permission to be a bit more patient.
His remarks were good. He honored the work of the gay community, he honored the struggle, acknowledged the progress. He wove a powerful narrative about the evenings of the riots and reminded us that the work will happen "step by step, law by law, mind by changing mind."
And of course I wanted more. (I believe I have already established the impatience theme). I wanted the language of the Department of Justice brief, comparing homosexuality to incest and pedophilia, to be offered as a teachable moment about the prejudice that lives even in those who stand with us. I wanted to hear more about the role he will play in pushing Congress to get these bills to his desk. I wanted a kitchen table story. I wanted to know that he and Michele (and Malia for that matter) talk about the issues of the day over dinner, including ours.
But most of all, I wanted President Obama to come out. OK, I don't mean it that way. I wanted the President to come out as a kindred spirit.
Listen to him read Dreams From My Father sometime. Don't just read it. Listen. Listen to him talk about a world in which he was often an outsider . Listen to him talk about his own struggle to own and honor his identity. To find his place in the world. Listen to him talk about reading Heart of Darkness in an effort to better diagnose why people hate. Listen to him talk with empathy and passion about his work as a community organizer.
He peeked out yesterday at the White House when he said "The truth is when these folks protested at Stonewall 40 years ago, no one could have imagined that you, or for that matter, I would be standing here."
But if our kindred spirit president, who has traveled his very own and very personal journey, can open his heart to us, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will be more than just a house. We can make ourselves at home.
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It's only recently that I have begun to pay attention to the DETAILS of SOTUS and lower court rulings. With so many current rulings coming down to 5-4 votes, it dawned on me that SCOTUS rulings are really a matter of opinion and not incontravertible law. Prior to this realization, I would say or think, "the Court ruled this and the Court knows what the law is."
But when we get a 5-4 ruling, 5 Justices say the law is this and 4 Justices say "no it's not; the law is THAT." Now theoretically each of these Justices is equally educated and experienced in the law and yet they disagree. So, it seems obvious that the law is a matter of opinion and not cast in stone.
In re Marriage Cases, the California Supreme Court ruled that Prop 22 violated the Equal Protection Clause of the California Constitution. End of story, right? But the ruling was 4-3. Almost half of the court believed Prop 22 did NOT illegally discriminate against gays and lesbians.
I'm not writing this because I agree with those 3 Justices, or disagree for that matter, but to point out that when people (or Courts) say that banning SSM does NOT violate the Federal 14th amendment, that's just a matter of opinion and when people (or Courts) say that it DOES violate the 14th, that also is just a matter of opinion.
Ms. Garry, I wish I could share your optimism. But I can't. And neither can many other LGBT people. Afterall, it was Bill Clinton who told a gay activist that he felt our pain and made promises to the LGBT community. It was that same Bill Clinton who came up with DADT and signed DOMA in the middle of the night on a weekend.
We now see Obama saying things like he's our fierce advocate or champion. But we see his administration time after time taking action in direct opposition to his lovely words.
Perhaps it's not impatience. Perhaps it's weariness with the fact that politicians court the LGBT community during elections and then slap us in the face once they take office.
Obama can make all the pretty speeches he wants. He can stage all the warm/fuzzy photo ops he can. But until his words match his actions, he's just another politician who has used the LGBT community to get elected.
Boy, this is deja vu all over again. If we had blogs back in the 60's this is what we would be saying about the civil rights movement.
There would be those who want equality now!
There would be those who argued for patience and perseverance; to work within the system to make change permanent and less fragile.
There were those who wondered why these people would not just go back to Africa.
There were those who said that if they would just act more "human", things would be different.
There was the constant reference to those "over sexed people".
There was the "fear of the black man syndrome".
There was the idea that they were not ready to handle their social obligation (voting) idea.
There were the "anti-miscegenation" laws.
Deja vu all over again.
I just don't understand these absolutes. Marriage is a religious institution. The Constitution covers law, civil law. Why can't the LGBT just accept a Union under Civil Law. Yes now a majority of Americans are accepting of the unions, but you have to understand many of us who approve of the unions do not believe in allowing marriage as a standard.
This is a failure where both the far left and far right are similar in that they only believe in absolutes.
I understand your point except as a man of "color" forty years ago, there were logical justification for not allowing my wife of 15 years and I to marry in many states of the Union. The word "marry" is not the issue any more than "separate but equal" was the real issue. The issue is denial.
The real issue is that for centuries, people who are different are treated differently for no other reason than that they are different. It is a matter to overcome not simply justify.
I must say though that as a straight black man, I always find it puzzling that there are black people will turn a blind eye to the obvious when it comes to the social separation of another group. We should not be too comfortable with bigotry. It can easily turn back on us someday.
We can all be subject to whims of the majority.
You're wrong. Marriage is a CIVIL institution. Always has been. That is why the Government (and not churches) issues the license. Marriage wasn't even recognized in the Christian Church as a rite (that's a ceremony as opposed to something one is entitled to by law) until about 1200 AD. Prior to then, marriage was viewed by the church as something that was earthly and wouldn't be recognized in heaven. Allowing same-sex marriage is not going force any church to perform a ceremony for a same sex couple if it violates that Church's teachings. What it will do is allow same-sex couples to have the more than 1100 benefits of LAW that are conferred on heterosexual couples.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, why call it a "civil union"?
This issue has been turned into a human rights issue. It is really about men having sex with men, women having sex with women, women being impregnated by a Doctor. All kinds of sexual perverts are welcomed into this group. I hope Obama serves 1 term and Palin is our next President. We will see how far you get with her .
If you would bother to read the don't ask law you would see what the President can really do.
Why doe it always comes down to sex?
Those who fear sex seem to dwell on it far too much.
"Perfect love casts out fear"
Think less about sex and dwell more on the love of God.
"Over these next four years, he will continue to fight with the gay community.
Because we are impatient."
You got that right. Your gayness would be at the top of my agenda if I were
president. Wouldn't it be at the top of yours, all things considered?
"But the line is also true if you look at it the other way."
As for parades and being accepted on similarities, has anyone ever considered
having a parade of gay pride where people dress in suits, garage mechanic overalls,
a chef's hat and tunic, a farmers hat and jeans, checked flannel shirts and loggers
boots, a policeman's uniform, army, navy, air force, etc.? A pride parade that SHOWS
the similarities instead of the 'differences?' Is that such a repulsive idea? Is being
treated like everyone else also a repulsive idea?
I watched him on TV and read what he said. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. He's going to move as slowly as he possibly can on gay issues. That's what he said, and that's what he'll do. He tossed a few phantom crumbs and a party in hopes no one will actually listen to his words. He sounds good, but what did his words say? Somebody needs to tell him that justice deferred is justice denied. But then, I think he knows that. Other issues are more important to me too. So?
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick.
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick."
So does a President who's a "fierce advocate" when making speeches but who will never, never, never stand up to the homophobic preachers who can deliver votes.
By all means, keep the lines of communication open but LGBT citizens and their straight supporters would be fools to count on that. Threats that the gay money machine would close down was what got Obama's attention; that pressure should be kept up. And for those of a religious bent, reread Jesus' parable of the Unjust Judge. An Expedient POTUS serves that principle just as well.
Joan, here's what you and the other D.C. gay elect heard in the East Room, and it's straight (so to speak) out of Poli Sci 101: You've been co-opted.
Halt DADT. Withdraw the DOMA brief and fire the individual who submitted it.
Again, it's not about impatience or back-burnering of gay rights. We know there's a lot to do, it can't all come at once and health care reform is a heavy, heavy lift.
But halting ENFORCEMENT of DADT takes no more than a pen stroke. Yes, he needs a legislative reversal, too, otherwise Jeb or Sarah or Mitt or Trix or Colgate or whoever the next Republican POTUS turns out to be will just reinstate it.
But in the meantime, do we really need to ruin 265 careers? Especially when so many of them are involved in the war on terror? What if there's a ticking time bomb and the only Arabic speakers we have are gay? Ticking time bomb! TICKING TIME BOMB!
Also, it would just be super swell if the Justice Department would refrain from making incest and bestiality references when defending DOMA.
Oh well. Nothing a few cocktails won't fix, I guess.
AFVet1A251, good question. The National Equality March is scheduled on October 11, 2009 in Washington D.C.
http://www.nationalequalitymarch.com
The HRC and GLAAD have indicated that they won't be officially endorsing the march. However, while it's important to have people like Joan Garry the big organizations working from within the system, we can't forget about the grassroots political activism that got us where we are today. Working from the inside and the outside is the best combination. Hope to see you there!
Push Congress!
And Obama.
Let me see if I can summaries your points, don't judge Obama by his actions or results. Judge him by his speeches. Don't worry if there are very minuscule steps, we know he means well.
PlaceboStudman is clearly the voice of reason and level headed intelligence in this thread. Outstanding posts sir.
It is going to take 4 years or more. You can complain and whine for 4 years which really turns even kindred supporters off, or you can take positive steps that support the President and show your community in a positive light.
Continue to bash the president with all the "Same as Bush" rhetoric, and see what Palin does for you in 4 years.
wont be any difference, if you didnt know they both have the same stance on marriage equality, you apologist crack me up, just because he's slick with words doesnt help us, he doesnt have the courage to stand up for equality, he talks about it, but he doesnt support it in his actions so i dont really care what he says, it's all bs, voice of reason, im sure he's very happy with your compliment, simple equation here separate is not equal, that is level headed intelligence
So called "level headed intelligence" is useless without knowledge to back it up which you apparently don't have. If you use some of your "level headed intelligence" I'm sure you can come up with several examples where separate IS equal. Give it a shot. You might surprise yourself. :-)
Whatever you might think of the President's stance, there are a lot of people who feel the way he does! He is entitled to favor marriage between a man and a woman! He will make changes, but gays and lesbians are going off the deep end. Using the term "justice delayed is a justice denied! This is not about justice! This about gays and lesbians who think that it's okay for them to live as a married couple and think that they have a right to get married. I think it is a bunch of crap, but the President will give you what you want! And while he's giving gays and lesbians their rights, maybe other groups like African Americans, should ramp up and start holding him accountable to the injustices to them! This could go on and on; there are plenty of groups in this country who feel that their causes are just as important! I've lost a lot of respect for gays and lesbians! You are no more important than the rest of us in this country and you don't pay any more taxes, or give him more contributions than any other group of people.
I know, the constant whining of oppressed citizens everywhere in the world is so annoying.
Wow, I am so glad you weren't posting blog comments during the Civil Rights era.
More "just be patient", "don't turn off your friends". The same crap that got said to Martin Luther King. And you know what he said: "If not now, when?".
I am 62 years old, I've been waiting for my rights for 50 years. Please don't have the arrogance to tell me to keep waiting.... I'll be dead and gone before your approach yields the results we deserve under the Constitution. That may be OK for you, but not for me.
It is our job to hold the President's feet to the fire. The sad part is that I don't understand why we should have to.
I think, if it weren't for that DOMA hit to the gay community by the DOJ, he would still have many of us on his side. He underestimated how incredibly insulting it is for us to be associated with pedophilia. He underestimated how incredibly insulting it is for gay parents to not have their family unit recognized.
He needed to come out as a "kindred spirit" in empathy.... even if he is going slow. It would have been enough of a bone for the ENTIRE gay community. Doing quasi benefits for "federal" employees means not very much to the rest of us normal people.
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