I know what he meant. He meant that together we would fight for full equality and that he would advocate for us to get there. But the line is also true if you look at it the other way. Over the rest of his first term (this is how I like to think of it), he will continue to battle with the gay community. Because we are impatient.
Maybe the Obama administration didn't anticipate just how impatient our impatience would be. But it makes sense if you think about. Let's say you were locked out of a house for eight years. And then let's say that after those eight years, a man you saw as a kindred spirit, a community organizer just like you, opened the door and invited you in. You'd have a lot to say. And you'd try to say it loud and fast, worrying that the door may once again be slammed in your face.
Yesterday, several hundred of us -- gay leaders from all across the country -- were invited in. Literally. We were there to celebrate Gay Pride Month and the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall, a police raid in a gay bar in the West Village where the impatience of our community reached a tipping point. No president had ever invited a big bunch of us over for cocktails during Pride Month before. The event was remarkable. Historic. I was proud to be there. Proud to have my partner at my side.
He brought out the good china, he brought out his two most senior advisors (Jarrett and Axelrod). He brought out the baby lamb chops. They tried very hard. They even hired a DJ to play house music (OK, maybe they tried a little too hard).
"Welcome to your White House," the president said to those assembled. It was a smart move to invite us, it was strategic. And he no doubt bought himself some time, gave us a bit of permission to be a bit more patient.
His remarks were good. He honored the work of the gay community, he honored the struggle, acknowledged the progress. He wove a powerful narrative about the evenings of the riots and reminded us that the work will happen "step by step, law by law, mind by changing mind."
And of course I wanted more. (I believe I have already established the impatience theme). I wanted the language of the Department of Justice brief, comparing homosexuality to incest and pedophilia, to be offered as a teachable moment about the prejudice that lives even in those who stand with us. I wanted to hear more about the role he will play in pushing Congress to get these bills to his desk. I wanted a kitchen table story. I wanted to know that he and Michele (and Malia for that matter) talk about the issues of the day over dinner, including ours.
But most of all, I wanted President Obama to come out. OK, I don't mean it that way. I wanted the President to come out as a kindred spirit.
Listen to him read Dreams From My Father sometime. Don't just read it. Listen. Listen to him talk about a world in which he was often an outsider . Listen to him talk about his own struggle to own and honor his identity. To find his place in the world. Listen to him talk about reading Heart of Darkness in an effort to better diagnose why people hate. Listen to him talk with empathy and passion about his work as a community organizer.
He peeked out yesterday at the White House when he said "The truth is when these folks protested at Stonewall 40 years ago, no one could have imagined that you, or for that matter, I would be standing here."
But if our kindred spirit president, who has traveled his very own and very personal journey, can open his heart to us, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will be more than just a house. We can make ourselves at home.