Gay Day or May Day

It's Saturday, June 28 - I'm going to get into trouble for writing this, but here goes:

Like many other big cities around the world, Paris is holding its Gay Pride parade today. As (bad) luck would have it, the phantasmagoria is stomping along right under my windows, having blasted its way up the Boulevard St. Germain, over the Ile St.-Louis, and on to the Place de la Bastille. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, take a look at your Paris guidebook.)

The decibels could shatter your eardrums. If it were "La Vie en Rose", I wouldn't mind so much, but it's techno and hard metal ... amplified. The floats are embellished with rainbow flags and rainbow people, and the banners proclaim kinship with every political, educational, social, and religious group imaginable. (Well, maybe not with Islam.)

Wait! -- what am I seeing? Male belly dancers from Lebanon, wearing headscarves.

Thousands of bystanders are joining in the commotion. There are bare-chested men and green-wigged women in Carnivalesque costumes, all scrambling to catch some of the free condoms that are being tossed away. By eight o'clock this evening, when the last reveler has passed, the streets will be littered with beer cans, broken bottles, paper trash and scraps of food. The sanitation department will be cleaning it up all day tomorrow.

I wonder miserably, as I pop another aspirin, Why doesn't it ever rain on this parade?

Before you label me as homophobic, let me assure you that some of my Best Friends, and people I've worked with, are lesbian or gay. I have always believed that however you can be happy -- without harming others -- go for it. But do you need to flaunt it?

The irony of the gay rights movement is that on the one hand, it demands that sexual differences be seen and accepted and legislated as normal, but on the other hand it portrays these variations in an exaggerated, ostentatious and "un-normal" way. It's self-contradictory.

It is also a form of propaganda, or proselytizing, which I find unreasonable. People in conventional male-female relationships are not parading their lifestyle. And yet, perhaps they should! They are a singularly silent majority who are losing some of the best words in the English language: gay, queer, pink, rainbow.

Perhaps we should simply revive the May Day festival of antiquity -- a wildly permissive bacchanal, where we all dance around a maypole (a decidedly phallic symbol) and spend the night making love to whomever and however we like.

And that's it for May 1st. The rest of the year, let's show a little discretion and tact: turn down the decibels and stop littering the streets.

Comments

[Dave01]

Ms. Shore,

I, like you, live on a parade route. I live on the San Diego Gay Pride Parade route as well as the St. Patty's Day Parade Route, and the Veterans Day Parade Route. I deal with living on the parade route all year around. Should I be complaining about the St. Patty's Day parade because I cannot stand bagpipes? Should I say Screw You to our Veterans who are showing their pride for serving our country? Hell No! So why in the hell should I criticize anyone else's parade?

Homosexuals live day in and day out having heterosexuals shove their points of view down their throats on a DAILY basis! Why should they not be allowed one day to show the world what it is like for them to have that one day when they can be themselves without any or very little persecution from those same heterosexuals who prevent them from getting married, or discriminate against them in the workplace.

Is it really too much of them to ask for their one day/weekend a year of being free to express themselves how THEY SEE FIT? Heterosexuals are socially "allowed" to express themselves EVERY DAY of the year, where many gays live in fear on a daily basis not knowing who is waiting for them around the corner with a baseball bat or a gun simply because they are gay. Need you really be reminded of Matthew Shepard? This is THEIR day/weekend, let them have it.

[DeronR]

Everytime we watch a movie, a television show, see a couple kissing on the jumbo-tron screen at a ballgame, everywhere, straight life is on display and can be seen as "paraded" around. Your thoughts are something you are certainly entitled to, but are very poorly thought through and selfish at best.

If we want to get rid of the gay pride parade, let's also get rid of the St. Patrick's day parade, antique car parades, Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade with all those obnoxious animal balloons, Puerto Rican day parades in NYC and the like. Not everyone likes these parades, and not everyone can identify with these parades, so let's all turn off the music, stop dancing, and dumb it down so everyone else is happy. No more celebrations! Oh, and by the way, straight folks with children might consider not taking them into the public, because not everyone enjoys other people parading their children out and making noise. (Sound ridiculous??)

Now, if this is really how we all felt and expected others to respond to these ridiculous whims, we would certainly have some trouble and a definite lack of tolerance for what others are "free" to do. Straight people: keep having celebrations, kissing on screen or bringing your children to restaurants........just look the other way if you must when my friends and I celebrate the freedom to be with whomever we want in 2008 and beyond.

[mikey683]

She must have had an awful time in France, what with all those french people just flaunting their Frenchess everywhere.

[CEKChuck]

I'm sorry you had to endure the noise and traffic of one of our parades; (I suspect your gay pride parade is well advertised in advance, perhaps you should choose to do something else on that day next year).

Gay pride originates as a celebration of the Stonewall Riots. In June, 1968, a group of gay men, transexuals, and drag queens who got fed up with random raids on their bars rose up and rioted for three days. While it was not the start of the gay rights movement, it was a turning point where we stood up and fought back.

Some day, when our children or our children's children look back and say "wow, our country used to discriminate against gay people?", the impetus to have gay pride parades will fizzle out. We're far from there yet.

[tbrnotb]

So, it didn't bother you when France won the World Cup and the city went crazy? Maybe you should move to a less conspicuous neighborhood. I once lived on Ocean Blvd and the constant parades drove me crazy. But I surely didn't pick out one celebration and tear it apart. Especially those I considered "un-normal". I'd like to say more, but i would probably get censored.

You need more than an aspirin, baby!

[Vern58]

Your assessment of Our Pride activities is one you are entitled to as a free citizen of the United States, however, yo might want to chew on this for a while.
Gay Pride is a celebration of the freedom to be exactly what and who we are- in all of it's various shade and nuance. 30 years ago i was considering suicide, caught in a closet of my own making and desperately unhappy with what and who i was. 29 years ago i was blithering happy with what and who i am and ready to take on the world.
The trouble with you Ms Shore, is that you have no frame of reference to the self loathing that being a closeted Homosexual was and is. You can have no idea how your very existence can seem like poison.
Now i realize as a straight person you cannot begin to imagine this. But give us our due. This is not so much an expression of sexuality, as it is a statement of the liberation of joy in ourselves.
And please get rid of the "some of my best friends are Gay stuff. It is the mark of a bigot and worse.

[mikey683]

Um...did she actually say "some of my best friends are gay"?

[Vern58]

Uh, yes she did.Sad no?

[j.gold]

The parade was not about you or your ideas. So why should they conform to what you think?

[StephenDedalus82]

It's a freakin parade. And it's a parade by and for gay people. In what universe would you not expect it to be the campiest thing ever? It's an event that happens once a year. The rest of the year we go on being what you call normal.

And heterosexuals do parade their lifestyle--every damn day. The parade is our way of banding together so that we may be as outrageous and ostentatious as we desire, without fear of reprimand for our differences. It's our reaction to a year-long de-facto ban on our public displays of our type of sexuality. Why must we flaunt it? Because you get to flaunt yours. You just do it the straight way--boringly.

[TJinSoCal]

"People in conventional male-female relationships are not parading their lifestyle."

Are you kidding me? When you're in the vast majority, on the inside looking out, it might appear that way, but take a careful look at the world around you. Heterosexual imagery is everywhere. Except for CA and MA, marriage laws are structured to benefit heterosexuals only, not to mention all the other laws relating to property, etc. all over the country and in the federal government. And the list goes on...

And I hate to break this to you, but many of the kinks and fetishes that are "flaunted" are not limited to the homosexual community. You like what you like, at least the gay community can admit it. Our priorities are pretty twisted when violence and bloodshed are glorified while sexuality is suppressed and colored by shame.

[ProudLiberalDan]

Gee. This homophobic rant almost guarantees that next year I will ride a float in my buttless chaps which I hope is captured on television so it can be "in your face."

What you call "flaunt", I call celebrate.

I put up with the St. Patrick's Day Parade every year and the Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Lighten up.

This blog reminds me of these people who say they have "gay friends", but then say they want to ban gay marriage, civil unions or any protections or recognition of gay relationships. Some friends. I hope your "gay friends" are reading this blog so they know what you really think.

And, by the way, your heterosexuality has been flaunted in my face every day of my life since I was born. The reason they are no "straight pride" parades is because heterosexuals consist of 90% of society and completely dominate society and culture is every respect. Every time I turn on the television or go to a movie, it is having a heterosexual pride parade in my face.

---------------

"They are a singularly silent majority who are losing some of the best words in the English language: gay, queer, pink, rainbow."

You say you don't want us to think you are homophobic and then you say something like this?

Sorry, but as the saying goes, "who you are is thundering so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying."
Homophobic is as homophobic does.

[metropolitan]

you say "People in conventional male-female relationships are not parading their lifestyle. And yet, perhaps they should! They are a singularly silent majority who are losing some of the best words in the English language: gay, queer, pink, rainbow."

huh???

it might not be clear to you, but every day in ever main street "conventional" male-female relationships are parading their lifestyle. that's in every tv show you watch, every movie and just about everything. it might not seem like "parading" to you, but that's because there's no controversy around it. that's all gay and lesbian want. the ability to hold hands down the street without feeling like they are "parading".
the gay pride parade is a place to really parade, just like mardi gras, just like st. pat's, just like all sorts of parades.

and i'm sorry, but no one is losing the words "gay, queer, pink, rainbow" and it's not like they ever belonged to straight people anywhere. after it rains i still see a rainbow, and your reasoning is still as queer as a three dollar bill.

[jvarga]

"But do you need to flaunt it?"

I used to think the same way. Then it occurred to me that us heterosexuals flaunt our sexuality all the time. We just don't notice it because we perceive it as normal. I want to make some really snarky comments, because I think they're deserved, but I wont in the hopes that my comment will get posted.

[Grada3784]

Think about wedding rings, kid pics, talking about the wife or your religion. It's propgandizing one's straight lifestyle with all the subtlty of a sledge hammer. Tell Religious Righties they can't talk about their religion and hold your ears; you'll hear the squeal like that of a stuck pig.



As far as being flaunting/ostentatous, it would be good to remember that the drag queens were in the forefront of fighting back against the police harassment 39 years ago in NYC that led to the parades today.

[realityczech4u]

I have been 'proselytised' sp? to on quite a few occasions. I shut it down quickly and have gotten into several arguments. Too bad for them.

Regarding wedding rings, etc., it is the height of arrogance and narcissism that you think those things are in any way directed at you. The only time that the average person is even aware of homosexuals is if circumstances allow them no other choice. If you honestly believe that our symbols or conversational topics are in any way directed toward you or intended for your consumption, get over yourself. You will save yourself a lot of unnecessary angst.

[kristinamk]

Just because you don't intend for it to doesn't mean it doesn't remind us every day of the fact that in most states we can't legally wed but instead get the half-hearted sham of civil unions wrapped up in the banner of kindness while reminding us that we'll never be the same as straight people and will never deserve the same rights and opportunities, that in many states we can't adopt and people would sooner give custody of children over to alcoholic ex-husbands than lesbian ex-wives (hi Roy Moore), that oftentimes if we have the SAME THINGS then people will be able to tell us how uncomfortable they are with us "flaunting our lifestyle" and have US be made to feel in the wrong.

It means people will take it upon themselves to come into my life to tell me how brave I am to admit I'm queer in a class, because even though they'll never agree with my "lifestyle," it must have taken a lot of courage to say that, and they'd love to talk to me more so they can help their church help people overcome the difficult "choice" of homosexuality.

To see those things is a reminder that those remarks are considered okay. And it is a reminder that, unfortunately, in a vast number of cases, it requires courage to live life comfortably and constantly out of the closet, because we don't have the privilege of doing it without fear.