We love giving advice to our Hot Chick readers, who email us all the time with questions about food, dieting, dating, relationships and everything else related to living life like the Hot Chicks that they are. (Remember, we define a Hot Chick as a confident, empowered and passionate woman. It's not about looks, ladies!) We decided to share some of these interactions with you so that you can benefit from these ladies' conundrums. Don't forget to email us with questions of your own at heydayproductions at gmail dot com!
Dear Jodi and Cerina,
I'm 36 years old and no one has ever told me I was beautiful, let alone HOT, but thanks to your books I am starting to believe it. I'm feeling more confident, but right now I'm having a problem in my love life. I've been seeing this guy who I met at my job for almost two years now. We're totally in love, and it's "magic" as you guys call it, but there is one catch - he's married. When we first got together, he told me he was unhappy in his marriage, that he was never intimate with his wife and was just waiting for things in their life to calm down before getting a divorce. (His wife's dad is sick.) But now that we are coming on our two-year anniversary, I'm starting to feel like he's lying to me about ever leaving her. I'm tired of sneaking around and always losing out to her about the important stuff, so I told him that if he doesn't leave his wife by the end of the month, I'm leaving. But the truth is that I don't really think I can leave. I really do love him and if it weren't for his marriage I know we'd be so happy together. I know in your book you say that Hot Chicks never date married men, but I have been in this relationship for so long that I don't know how to get out, or if I really have to.
What should I do?
Thank you for your time (and for making me feel like a Hot Chick),
Beth
Dear Beth,
Thank you for your email; we're so happy to hear that our books are helping you feel like the Hot Chick that you are. It sounds like there is only one thing standing in your way of living and loving at your full Hot Chick potential, and that is your relationship with this married man. There are a million reasons (besides that bitch named Karma) why you shouldn't date a married man, but the most important reason is that you deserve better. You deserve a love of your own -- one that inspires and nurtures you, not one that confuses the crap out of you, makes you insecure and always puts another woman first. We're very sorry to say it, but by taking part in this secret relationship, you are telling the universe that you do not deserve and are not ready for your own healthy relationship. Plus, by giving your whole heart and soul to someone who is not doing the same, you are not opening yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone who will be able to love you and only you.
We think that you should not only stick to your ultimatum, but leave him even earlier, like now! If he was really willing to end his marriage to be with you, he would have done it by now, or he would have acted like a real man from the beginning and waited to get involved with you until after he'd called it quits with his wife. We know it won't be easy (no breakup ever is), but you have to cut him out of your life and focus on yourself for a change, instead of him. Think about it this way -- is he making you happy? It certainly doesn't sound like it. You'll be happier without him dragging you down and making you feel like second best, and having time alone will help you re-evaluate what you want in life and in a relationship.
Beth, you have to believe that you are good enough, cool enough and hot enough to have a relationship and a man of your own, and you'll never find one until you call it off with this man who belongs to someone else. Don't dread being single or worry about never finding another guy, and instead declare it your heyday right now, complete the Build a Boyfriend program in How to Love Like a Hot Chick to set new priorities, and sleep peacefully knowing that you did the right thing and are proving to yourself and the universe that you deserve better.
Good luck, Beth! Let us know what happens!
xoxo,
Jodi & Cerina
Read more about our books at www.heydayproductions.com