Our most recent book, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, strove to help women feel sexy, find confidence, and become empowered enough to find the love that they deserve, but we were pleasantly surprised to hear how many men took the advice in that book to help them find the women (or men -- we don't discriminate) of their dreams. Well, we sure have lots of advice specifically for men, and one day we plan to write a book to teach men How to Date a Hot Chick, so we were excited when we recently met a fellow Hot Chick with a similar message, who is teaching men all over the country what women want. Marni Kinrys is the creator of The Wing Girl Method, which helps men fix common dating mistakes so that they can confidently land their dream girls. We sat down with Marni to pick her Hot Chick brain. Guys (and girls!), we hope you find this as fascinating as we did!
1)It seems like most of the dating advice geared towards men out there comes from other men. In what ways do you think men benefit by getting this advice from a woman, instead?
If I wanted to know how to fix a car I would ask a mechanic, not my neighbor who thinks he knows everything about cars because he owns a few of them. Do you know what I am saying? If you want to know what a woman wants, ask a woman! Plain and simple. Why would you ever want to ask a man how a woman feels? He can speculate, he can give you researched answers, but he will never really know what it's like inside a woman's head. Just like I will never actually know what it's like to have a penis! :-)
I will admit that there are many women who don't understand what they want because they are too young, they don't think about it, or because they simply have no interest in dissecting it. My Wing Girls and myself are just like every other woman in the world but we DO understand what women want, we know how to articulate it, and lucky for men, we know how to properly explain it to them in a manner that they will understand.
2)What gave you the idea to start this business? How has your past experiences made you an expert in this area?
Social proof. I was out at a singles mixer and no one was interacting! Literally, the boys were on one side of the room, and the girls on the other. So I started dragging men to women and advising them on what to do and giving them feedback on their technique and style. By the end of the night people were mixing, mingling, dates were being set, and connections made.
That night I came home, put an ad on Craigslist advertising to be a Wing Girl for men, and I had seventy-five responses by the next morning. Slowly, over time, the business has morphed into what it is today and I realize how large the need is for a company like mine. I have always been fascinated with the differences and similarities of men and women. I had been friends with males all my life so I was always privy to the male psyche and loved sharing my thoughts as a female. Turns out my thoughts really helped my guy friends out with women and with themselves. I have always been a Wing Girl, now I just do it professionally.
3) What can men expect to learn from one of your coaching sessions or seminars?
Men will learn to understand women and learn what women REALLY want from men. During this process they will also learn how to become the best, most attractive versions of themselves. Our motto is that "you can't turn anyone else on until you learn to turn yourself on!" We assist a man in establishing boundaries with women, growing his social circle, improving his lifestyle and educating men on why women do the things they do. We are also truly Wing Girls, and we take these men out into the real world where they can meet and interact with women, which is what makes our company so unique!
But the important thing for men to understand is that women are women and men are men. The majority of both are good with no ill will intentions. We are just different, but those differences can be very confusing. Walls are built up, hurdles are placed, and baggage is jam-packed. Each of these things further separates us from one another and makes it even harder to understand each other and succeed in a relationship. Our goal is to open the gates of communication between the sexes so that these barriers don't seem as large.
4) We think that the two most common things that hold women back from getting the love that they deserve is lack of confidence and not knowing what they want. What do you think are the two biggest mistakes that men make when it comes to dating and finding a successful relationship?
First, they forget about themselves and fail to recognize their worth as soon as a woman comes into their lives. This means they would put a complete stranger's worth, above his own self-worth. They ignore their boundaries, and become followers instead of the natural leaders they are meant to be. This is not attractive. Another error I am seeing men make is that they do not believe women want to be with a "nice guy." Of course we do! We just don't want to be with a wimp who let's us walk all over them. No little girl dreams of being with an aggressive jerk. Could you image, "When I grow up I want a man to treat me horribly, give me no attention and make me feel worthless?" This is not so. Women do want to be with a NICE man, not a wimp, but a nice man.
5) What have you learned about men through the process of teaching them about dating and relationships?
I have learned that men are wonderful and that finding a great man is really not so difficult. There are many of them out there, but because there is so much misunderstanding and confusion from both sexes, the process can be overwhelming.
6) We often tell women that men are just as insecure as we are. Do you agree with this? What else would women be surprised to learn about men?
I totally agree with that. Men and women both have baggage. They are both confused about the process of finding a good relationship, and they can both be very happy if they would just put down their swords, let their hurdles lie down and be open to finding a wonderful partner that can give them everything they want. www.winggirlmethod.com