How To Work Out Like A Hot Chick

Exercise is a crucial part of living like a Hot Chick, and not just to burn off the calories from chocolate cake and margaritas. Working out also boosts our mood better than an anti-depressant, relieves tension better than a massage, and increases energy better than a case of Diet Coke. We believe that exercising properly can change your life (for the better), but we also know that going at it the wrong way will accidentally cause you more stress and end up wasting your time. Here are our tricks for how to get the most out of your workout so that you leave the gym looking like a glowing, relaxed Hot Chick.

1. No Sports Drinks!

Unless you are in a triathlon or climbing Mt. Everest, you do not need a sports drink or "enhanced" water to get you through your workout. By drinking these sugary drinks, you are ensuring that you will leave the gym without actually burning any calories. A typical sports drink has the same amount of calories as a pack of gummy bears, so if you wouldn't eat gummy bears on the elliptical machine, then don't drink these stupid things! And do not fall for the diet energy drinks that have zero calories, a ton of caffeine, and extra "fat burning" elements. All those drinks do is fill you with rat poison and make you feel crazy. We want you to leave the gym feeling more relaxed, not feeling (and looking) like you are on speed.

2. Sweat. A lot.

Our wise aunt told us, "Horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow," but we think she was wrong. The more you sweat, the more calories you will burn, the more toxins you will eliminate, and the better you will feel! There is no reason to go to the gym unless you are actually going to exercise. And if you are not sweating, then we are very sorry, but you are not really exercising. You don't have all day to spend at the gym, do you? So use your time wisely. Don't casually climb the Stairmaster - go for it! Push yourself! Don't be afraid to sweat buckets! Just remember to wipe off the equipment once you're done.

3. Avoid Gym Food!

Some of these fancy gyms nowadays have little mini café's where you can get smoothies and all sorts of "healthy snacks." Well, don't be fooled. This is just a way for them to make more money off of you, so stay away from this nonsense. You are already paying enough for your membership, plus you should not be going to the gym to eat. That is just a waste of time, money, and calories. Those healthy muffins don't taste good and they have just as many calories as a yummy cupcake, so why are you eating them? Smoothies are also ridiculously high in calories and sugar, and adding protein powder and vitamin C does not make them any better. And please, please, please, for heaven's sake, do not eat any kind of gritty, dust-flavored protein bar. Go to the gym to exercise and then go eat your three square delicious meals somewhere else.

4. Don't Compare!

This is a biggie. In order to work out like a Hot Chick you cannot worry about other Hot Chicks. Focus on your body and your workout. Comparing your abs to another woman's abs will not magically make your stomach flatter. Worrying about why that other girl has such thin thighs will not help you fit into your skinny jeans. And wondering if that other Hot Chick's boobs are fake isn't really going to accomplish much of anything. This is all wasted energy and you did not drag your hot ass to the gym to waste energy! Your workout is supposed to be mood boosting, so don't make yourself feel like crap by comparing yourself to others. Take all of that nervous energy and pour it into your workout, or if it makes you feel better, imagine all those other Chicks one day striving to have a body as hot as yours.

5. Stop Multitasking!

We mess this one up practically every day. Life is so busy and we always end up trying to get other things done while we work out. But we know this is a bad idea. Your time for exercise should be just that. There is no need to return emails on your blackberry while you're on the bike - every email in the universe can wait an hour! Also don't return phone calls on the treadmill or read anything more taxing than Entertainment Weekly. This hour is time for you to pay attention to that hot body of yours, so turn off your brain, plug in your iPod, and get lost in your workout. You'll return to your crazy life a much hotter, healthier you!

Comments

[WinterIsComing]

The only thing I take issue with in this article is the prohibition against reading challenging material. I am a road biker who unfortunately has to spend a lot of time training indoors. I find that reading an engrossing book on the trainer makes the time fly by compared to using an Ipod or watching tv. I guess an argument could be made that you dont push yourself hard enough when reading, but my workout stats dont show this pattern.

[72BugDriver]

I'm just envious of all of you who CAN workout, hot chicks or not. I have Chronic Fatigue and I'm doing good if I can walk around the block three times a week. It's a bummer since I'm also in my mid-forties and starting to gain weight. If I over extend myself I'm exhausted the rest of the week. Now go jump around in spandex and enjoy!

[mediamarv]

Well, first you take this hot chick and then......

[ExRepublican]

Part 1:

Kudos. Excellent points. I agree with all of it except one important point. I would like to (try) to debunk one very common myth sooo detrimental to most (not all) people.
And then one comment on plagiarism.

MYTH:
" And if you are not sweating, then we are very sorry, but you are not really exercising"

Jodi and Cerina, again great article, except for this one point. This pervasive MYTH needs to stop.
I've been spouting off about this since I was a young whipper snapper. Most folks do not need to kill themselves when they exercise. In fact, we probably do more harm than good (unless highly trained from the get go/young age).

Not only that, by CONSTANTLY repeating this myth (which so many gurus do) we phase oh, about 89.8% of the population out of any exercise. They'll go in, BUST THEIR FANNY i.e. work up a massive sweat - feel like SHIFT the next day & the day after and then? give ALL exercise up.

Gratuitous advice? Exercise with your brain and get over the MYTHS that surround exercise.

Been an athlete since birth and have exercised regularly since massive injuries. I cringe when I hear sooooo many 'experts' tout the WORK HARDER, SWEAT YOUR ASS OFF, KILL YOURSELF exercise philosophy. There are MUCH better ways to do it for the vast majority of the population (not really athletic to begin with). Exercise a little/lightly each day and you're way ahead of the game.

Pete Sisco (google his science based workout method) takes me even a step further, at least with weights. He recommends lifting weights once every, I dunno, 10-30 days. Haven't tried it so I don't know. Read the science behind it.

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[mario59]

Bravo, as a veteran 14-year exerciser, I feel better than I have in my entire life, and I turn 48 this month! Exercising is the closest thing we have to a fountain of youth. My advice to those who have trouble getting into the exercise habit, reward yourself with new workout clothes and/or set very small attainable goals. Also, parent yourself and give yourself that verbal kick in the ass when you find it's easy to escape into excuses. I work full time as a professional with three kids, a spouse, and three cats. I'm also a den leader for Cub Scouts and active in my church. I schedule in my workout just like all my activities. If I didn't exercise, I have no doubt I'd be lazy, tired, fat and depressed. I know, because at 33 I was sliding down that hill.

[AdmNaismith]

Boredom is why I gave up aerobics machines. I'd much rather ride my bike to and from the gym (and everywhere else for that matter) for aerobic fitness. Texting or talking is a good way to pass the time.

Other than that, this is the best fitness advice I've heard in a looong time. Every bit of it.
Just remember, exercize and work to expend more calories than you eat. Fitness is just that simple.

[gingerkid]

I thing the section about sweat is pretty crucial. When I used to not like to sweat and that was a big deterrent to working out. I got over that and now I'm in the best shape of my life. When I'm at the gym, I sweat buckets, my face turns red (because if a fair complexion) I look gross. But my goal isn't to look good on the treadmill, but rather to look good when I am off of it.

I don't really understand the ladies I see on the elliptical machines reading magazines at the same time. They usually don't even look like they're even pushing themselves. Why bother?

[zeldaM]

I swim so there's not much chance for multi tasking and with earplugs in to deal with swimmers' ear, not much conversation going on. Brain shuts down all thoughts when it's working on bubble, bubble, bubble breath.

[wm1066]

I too agree with all the above.
I am beginning to believe that jogging and talking puts a strain on your heart.
I enjoy working out and part of it is that I get into how my body is working and feeling while I work out. Hearing music with the change of beats from one song to the next goes against my own internal song.
Plus I like to meditate when I work out and a head set just gets in the way.

[martykz]

Perhaps, but jogging the streets with a companion and carrying on a full animated conversation is also an enhanced aerobic activity and time passer.

[rini]

I agree with all the above.

I do not understand how anyone can talk, watch TV or IM while on the treadmill. Aren't they running? I mean, you got to push it, and do intervals to get great results. Of course, I don't recommend starting with intervals if you haven't been running regularly already.

Also, cross training and flexibility training are both amazing for your looks. If you can do splits, you really change the shape of your legs. I recommend dance and yoga. You will have amazing posture and, um, better abilities in other areas that men will appreciate.