As the season of celebration rapidly approaches, we want to give you some holiday help so that you can indulge in all of your favorite festive foods without gaining weight or even feeling guilty. Food, especially at this time of year, is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, not torturous and stressful, so stop wasting precious party time counting calories and trying to avoid dessert and instead spend it savoring every last juicy bite. Have no fear; we're not gonna set you loose at the buffet without some guidance, so here are our top ten ways to get your party on without packing on the pounds.
- Swap out tonic for seltzer in your gin or vodka drink (especially if you're going to have nine of them). You'll save over 100 calories per cocktail and get hydrated and buzzed at the same time!
- Don't starve yourself all week to squeeze into that little black dress and then go hog wild on trays upon trays of passed fried appetizers and mini cheesecake bites at the party. Eat balanced, healthy meals and exercise every day the week before so that you can show up at (and leave) the party feeling like the Hot Chick* that you are, not an out of control cookie monster with low blood sugar.
- If you order a tiny salad on a date with the dressing on the side, pick off the croutons and ignore the bread basket, then you are not eating like a Hot Chick. Your date's not stupid (at least, we hope not), and he knows that you're going to speed to the Taco Bell drive through as soon as the date is over. Save yourself from their mystery meat and dive into a juicy steak at dinner, and your date will think you're even hotter than the molten chocolate cake that you definitely should not feel guilty about sharing for dessert.
- Hot Chicks (and even Hot Guys) don't ever consciously eat fast food. The only circumstance in which we will condone it is when you've been up all night partying, it's four a.m. and it's your fourth meal. We're pretty sure that eating a bunch of toxins soaks up the toxins from the alcohol and they end up cancelling each other out.
- Cookies, cakes, brownies and muffins will only create a giant muffin top on you when you deprive yourself of them for weeks, believe that carbs are the devil's work and then break down and eat an entire pastry platter during a weak, stressed, PMS moment. The day you start seeing a cookie as a fun thing instead of a scary thing is the day you'll start losing weight and loving your body.
- Unless you are a frat boy or a line backer (or both), please don't drink like one. We know it can be tempting to spend all day Sunday drinking bottomless pitchers at a sports bar, but that will only leave you feeling puffy and bloated in a bigger size dress at your next holiday shindig. Stick to light beers, wine and low calorie cocktails like the ones we recommend in our first tip and you'll love your ass by New Year's and it will love you back.
- Yes, last night's leftover chocolate cake does make a perfectly acceptable breakfast as long as you balance it out later with a giant spinach salad for dinner.
- If you're feeling less than hot or you have a super important holiday event coming up, don't you dare try some sort of bullshit Gwyneth Paltrow cleanse. Instead, avoid processed and sugary foods for one week and fill up on apples, almonds, oatmeal, eggs, spinach, fish and every vegetable, fruit and protein that our hot mother earth gave us.
- Please don't even think about counting the calories on your Thanksgiving table. As long as you are truly thankful for the food and family that you share it with, we promise that the calories in those buttery candied yams and gravy soaked stuffing will vanish once they touch your pretty lips. However, you should come up with an exercise plan so that you can guiltlessly reach for seconds (or thirds) of that velvety pumpkin pie. Try a yoga class with your girlfriends or find out if your city has a Turkey Trot and burn some fat before you stuff yourself fuller than the turkey in the middle of your table.
- Help us make food fun again and spread our Hot Chick message by not talking about (or even thinking about) the calories and oily fat content in that delicious slice of piping hot pepperoni pizza. Enjoy every bite with the confidence that you are a Hot Chick who deserves to feed her body without guilt and that you have the self-control not to eat the whole pie.
*Hot Chick = A confident, empowered, passionate woman who knows what she wants and doesn't let insecurities keep her from getting it!