Jody B. Miller is CEO of C2C Executive Search & Strategic Management. She is the Author of HIRED! Expert Advice from A Leading Wall Street Recruiter and No Time For Love, a Novel. Her new book SHIFT - How to Find True Meaning in Your Work and in Your Life, will be in stores in late 2016.
This blog post is a departure from my usual advice on securing your dream job or running your company more effectively so that your employees don't leave.
The random attacks throughout the world make me sick at heart. It pains me to see so much hate aimed at innocent people. We all have beliefs and causes that we pour our heart and souls into. But is it really right to punish the innocent?
While you do have the right to honor any belief you so choose, it is my opinion that you do not have the right to judge others, and then administer your own consequences to one, many, or any, for not adhering to your view or way of the world.
"I would like to offer a unique solution that I believe could potentially end violence in our world. Maybe it's only a dream, but I believe a dream worth considering."
I gave birth to and raised three wonderful children, one of whom is mentally disabled. He doesn't look disabled, nor know that he is challenged, which, in a way is good for him. Yet it can also be very frustrating because people expect him to be normal. I am not a fan of uniformed expectations. 
Chris loves the water. He has become a great swimmer through
Northern California Special Olympics.
So when he's in the pool, I hear comments like:
"Look at him go - he must be a college athlete."
Then he pops up after a 50 or 100-yard swim and says things like:
"I am done. Where is my Dora towel?"
While Chris has the mind of a 6-year-old (he is 24 now), he is somewhat of a savant when it comes to directions. He knows every street, every turn throughout the county where we live, and if you go the wrong way, he will tell you. He sees signs a mile away and reminds me every time we pass by the YMCA that he went to "Mountain Climbers" there when he was a little boy. He was 4 when he was in that tumbling program.
We are all great at something regardless of our shortcomings. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone focused on the good as opposed to the bad?
Chris perseverates - on everything. It can drive you crazy. But to him, it brings order to his world.
"We are going to Disneyland on February 24th."
"No Chris. We haven't planned Disneyland yet."
"Mom, February 24, OK?"
This back and forth continues until I relent or tell him that we are done talking about it. We usually go February 24th each year.
When Chris was young, he primarily spoke in vowels. His speech went something like this:
"Ommy, I on ea inz." Mommy, I want wheat thins. 
I have to admit, I was embarrassed when we went to the grocery store and Chris would talk too loud in his unique language.
Mom's would grab their kid's hands and walk by too fast or shoot disapproving, bad parent looks at me. If their child innocently asked, what's wrong with him, they would answer with words that hurt my feelings. It was tough and I shed plenty of tears in the parking lot. They didn't even know my son, but I didn't hate them for it and I didn't start a fight. Instead, I co-founded "Dedication to Special Education," a non profit to inform and to help raise money for special education classrooms throughout the county. I took action, but not in a violent way.
The staff at Chris's elementary school tried hard to convince me that he should speak with a computer. I refused. I spent money on speech lessons instead and Chris speaks just fine now. You may have to ask him to slow down sometimes, but he can speak and will never need a computer to do it for him.
When I see a disabled person with a computer (even Steven Hawking, one of the most brilliant theoretical physicist's ever, needs a computer to speak), I know that they have the best tool for their condition and I do not look at them differently for it. I was simply of the strong opinion that my son Chris could learn to speak fully, and I was determined to help make that happen.
During Chris's schooling, each year I attended an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for him that was attended by his teachers, therapists and the school psychologist. Basically, the meeting was all about what Chris couldn't do. As much as I hated those meetings, I tolerated them and would end every one with:
"What is Chris good at? Tell me what Chris can do."
For all of his challenges, I am convinced that Chris is the happiest person on earth.
Even though people still stare at him when he talks about Dora the Explorer, the movie Cars, Frozen on Ice, Disneyland or whatever the future event of the moment is, he doesn't care. He doesn't even notice. He is simply happy. Isn't that what we all strive for in life? To be happy?
From my humble perspective, everyone has the capacity to change. Because of Chris I became more like him: empathetic, accepting, happy with the simple joys of life. I stopped judging.
I believe that people like Chris can change others too.
My solution to end violence? It is a solution with compassion at the core.
Every family in the world should have a disabled child. I promise you, we would become a more empathetic, tolerant and loving human race. In my opinion, love would trump violence, kindness would overshadow meanness and helping others would replace hurting them.
Some people say - adopt a rescue animal, visit recovery patients or become part of Hospice, for example. All of these efforts are important. But I have this dream. If every home in the world had a disabled person as part of the mix, we would all turn to love over violence at every turn.
Think about it.
If you don't have the ability or calling to adopt a challenged person, the next time you see someone with a condition, I invite you to say hello to them (and his or her parent or caregiver). Ask them questions, show compassion, share a smile. They may change you.
Please post your comments because what you have to say is of great value to me as much as my advice is to those I help.
Follow Jody B. Miller on Twitter: https://twitter.com/jbmiller2
This Blogger's Books. . .
Hired!
No Time For Love
SHIFT (Pre-Order)Top of Form