Huffpost Comedy

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Joe The Nerd Ferraro Headshot

Political Football Ananlogies - Super Tuesday Hangover

Posted: Updated:

Since the middle of January I have been calling this race for Santorum. I feel like a guy out in the wilderness wearing sackcloth eating grasshoppers and honey. I already have the beard for it.

While watching the MSNBC coverage of Super Tuesday, Rachel Maddow proclaimed that the winner of the GOP nomination will be the winner of the Santorum/Newt battle. After I walked out of the room, I banged my head on the wall. Charlie Brown, where are you? I feel better now.

Last night got to see some things one would expect regional victories -- Massachusetts and Vermont for Romney, and Georgia going to Gingrich. A tight race in Ohio is a regional victory also for Santorum.

Virginia going to Romney in a one-on-one against Ron Paul says a lot about the need for either Santorum or Gingrich to have been there. It also gives the largest numbers that Ron Paul will get.

What was not expected was the dismal showing of Gingrich in Tennessee.

Because of his showings in Tennessee, Oklahoma and North Dakota, it stands to reason Saturday will be another win in Kansas for Santorum, who is locking up the heartland.

The next big development in this race will be when and how Newt Gingrich drops out.

Hopefully Alabama's Tide will wash Gingrich from the map. I cannot see the rocket scientists in Huntsville going for someone they know cannot win. If either Romney or Santorum do well in Alabama or Mississippi -- Gingrich has to call it a day.

On the big map -- the women are making themselves heard as the Rush Limbaugh controversy will bleed onto the field. The president is getting bigger with each passing development.

It will be the clash of the Titans -- REALLY Santorum and Romney are what pass for Titans in the GOP.

I am sure there are leaders in the GOP who are telling Newt they will build him a replica of the House Chambers anywhere in Georgia he wants. This way he can talk to an empty house all he wants. Just get out of this race.


I am done howling at the moon for the moment. Would you like a honey-covered grasshopper? They are really good with lots of protein. I think they would fit well into an Atkins diet.