Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 5, Episode 7 of HBO's "True Blood," titled, "In The Beginning."
Did you hear that? That was the sound of the largest eye roll in the history of eye rolls. And it was directed at the latest episode of "True Blood," more specifically that ending, but let's start with the beginning.
Following last week's cliffhanger, Russell Edgington is caught by security courtesy of a silver net. I'm assuming he is then imprisoned within the Authority headquarters, but when Bill and Eric are summoned by Salome, we are then presented with a free Nora and a free Russell. They go on about Lilith and their plan and how Salome was the one who dug up Russell in the first place. Turns out that she followed them when they originally buried him, and she needed Russell to take down the Guardian. And that he did.
Later, the remaining members of the Authority, along with Steve Newlin and burnt face guy, gather 'round the vial of Lilith's blood, and Salome proclaims that they will all take part in drinking it. Dieter Braun labels this act as blasphemous. Russell, in turn, decapitates him with a single swipe of the hand ("May Lilith forgive me," he says smugly). I love Russell's merciless killings. Is that weird?
Anyway, they all partake in the blood drinking and it gives them this euphoric high that would be like if a human was on V. I liked the looseness of the characters at this point, but then they had to go and suck a whole birthday (?) party dry. And then, out of left field entirely, a naked Lilith takes form on stage and breathes this red mist into Nora's face. I would have thought the emergence of Lilith would be something great, but it really just put a puzzled look on my face.
Meanwhile, Sookie has been informed that her fairy power is finite and will run out if she doesn't use it properly. That means that she'll be a regular ol' human. This revelation seems to intrigue her, as being normal is what she's wanted for most of her life. In the end, she unleashes her powers in hopes of emptying all Fae-ness from her body.
Lettie Mae, Tara's mother, paid a visit to Fangtasia in the middle of Tara's poll dance. (Sidebar: Rutina Wesley is looking absolutely great this season.) I love when Lettie Mae and Tara are together because they have a very interesting dynamic. I've been into their story since season one. Lettie Mae just wanted to let Tara know that she is dead to her since becoming a vampire. Even though she has hated her mother for a while, Tara can't help but be upset by this. Anyone would, really. Pam comforts her by saying, "100 years from now, you won't even remember her. This I promise you." Tara proceeds to hug her. Seriously, this is the only relationship on the show I honestly 100 percent care about. None others this season are close to comparing (since Pam/Eric are kaput).
Writing this recap for "True Blood" is actually proving difficult since this episode was so all over the place, resulting in shortened, describable-in-one-sentence subplots that don't quite stick. Trying to follow and care about all these different stories is tough, especially the caring part. The writing is so touch-and-go that it is reminiscent of the most recent season of "Glee," which was a whole other mess all in itself. Yikes, I totally just compared "True Blood" to "Glee," but let's try to forget about that, okay? It won't happen again. I promise.
The smoke monster from "Lost" made his regular appearance, but instead of killing Terry and Patrick like they wanted, it just gave a hearty laugh and floated away. Terry pulls out his gun and is prepared to shoot himself in order to protect his family, but Patrick talks him down from it. And that was all of his plot this week. See what I mean?
Besides Denis O'Hare's deliciously devilish Russell and Tara and Pam's blossoming relationship, "True Blood" has gotten pretty fatiguing. It's like the connection the show had with its audience (a.k.a. me) in the past has been severed or is running thin. I don't find myself particularly rooting for most of the show's characters. I'm at the point where I'm just watching it out of this long-running commitment and not out of genuine intrigue.
Alcide trains with Rikki for the upcoming fight with JD. And then they make out. Cool.
Lafayette's storyline is so far gone that I don't even know what is going on anymore. Like, what?
I was in blissful heaven for half of a second when a flashback to Maryann came up. Season two was a much better time.
Arlene watching her wedding video and confiding in Holly was, I thought, a great scene. Carrie Preston did a commendable job and I'm realizing I haven't liked Arlene in a while just because Terry's been around. But on her own, I'm on board.
I don't know what's with Jessica and Jason this season. I want them together, but they're both so immature that I don't know anymore. Also, he totally shot her in the head, which, you know, was freakin' awesome.
The writers needed somewhere to put Hoyt this episode, so they put him in the hate group that kills supernaturals, because why not? Just another reason for us to dislike him. His chances of surviving this season are slim to none. (Watch him survive just to spite me.)
I pray to the TV gods that Steve Newlin replaces Talbot in Russell's black tar heart.
Alcide totally looked like Ralph Macchio in "The Karate Kid" with that bandana on.
And Pam was resonating a strong Laura Dern in "Enlightened" vibe with that crimped hair.
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