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'True Blood' Recap: Take Your Best Shot In 'Let's Boot and Rally'

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Editor's note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 5, Episode 5 of HBO's "True Blood," titled, "Let's Boot and Rally."

I jinxed myself when I hoped that "True Blood" would keep up the pace that it presented ever so nicely last week. Or was I just hoping too much? I should have expected it to be toned down this week. But nevertheless, there were still enough highlights and WTF moments to keep the episode afloat, if only barely.

One thing that can irritate me about "True Blood" is that it's continually setting things up. Things somehow never seem to get accomplished during an episode, and this one was particularly short (about 47 minutes with credits), so barely anything worth while occurred. Therefore, I'll try my best to fill this recap with loads of fun things.

The episode started out where the last one ended: with Sookie and Alcide getting hot and heavy. Since this was the opening scene, I figured they weren't actually going to do the dirty (Do people still say that? Is that still a thing?), and they didn't, because Sookie couldn't keep her Peach Schnapps down and vomited all over Alcide's shoes. And if you thought the moment couldn't be anymore over, Eric and Bill show up in the doorway. Buzzkill overload.

The four of them proceed to the parking garage where Russell Edgington was originally buried, and Sookie enters the brain of the garage attendant who unknowingly aided in the removal and transportation of Russell. Sookie uncovers via this guy's glamored memories that the person who dug up Russell was ... Nora! Like no one saw that coming from a mile away. But still, exciting stuff! Then they end up making their way to this abandoned hospital. This entire part worked for me completely. It was actually scary, which is something that the series lost along the way. Hospitals creep me out to begin with, but add in darkness and desolation and I'm hiding under the covers. Eventually they reach the room Russell is staying in and nothing happens and the episode ends. Typical "TB."

But a lot (that's debatable!) of other stuff happened! Tara is the new bartender at Fangtasia (kind of perfect) and Jessica stops by to give her some words of inspiration and the whole "It gets better" spiel. I liked that they were becoming friends, but I loved that they ended up getting into a high-speed fight in the bathroom over Tara sucking on Hoyt.

Meanwhile, all that's on Jason's mind is his parents and how vampires (may have) killed them. It was a funny visual to see him dressed in He-Man pajamas at least. If you got anything out of his story this week, it's that he can still pull off jammies and slippers. Good for you, Ryan Kwanten. Backtracking for a second, if you're wondering what happened to him and Andy Bellefleur after they were zapped at the very end of last week's episode, I can't tell you. What I can tell you is that they both woke up stark naked in their respective homes. I'm nipping that in the bud and no longer caring.

"True Blood" did see a death this week (I think), so that's something to talk about. The same people who murdered Sam's shifter buddies paid a visit to Luna's house and shot both her and Sam down! Sam was still writhing, but Luna looked as dead as a doornail. Good riddance, I say. If that was her death scene, it didn't bring up any emotions in me whatsoever. That could be because I wasn't fond of her character, but it could have also been the fact that the whole slow-mo thing actually made me crack up. Luna's daughter, Emma, however, makes a clean getaway after shifting to her were-self. Maybe she'll run away and join the circus. We can only hope for the best.

I suppose I'll touch on the final subplot and that was Lafayette's battle with his internal demon. If this was any other character, I would bring out my phone and start playing a round of solitaire, but Nelsan Ellis breathes life into this DOA story, so I'm keeping the phone at bay ... for now.

While a step or two down from the previous episode, "Let's Boot and Rally" somehow manages to keep me interested even though these stories have become so tired that I don't actually care what happens. I think I just want to be along for the ride. No one wants to be left out.

"Listen close. I saved your fuckin' life and lent you some truly exquisite clothes, but if you do anything to mess with Fangtasia, I will silver you and stick you in a coffin to rot until the next millennium." - Pam

Extra Bites:

I totally forgot about Terry's story (Can you really blame me?)! Long story short: one of the civilian victims from last week's shooting rampage in the Iraq flashback cursed the troops with a Ifrit, which is a fire and smoke demon, and that's what's been burning all their houses down. So that's something.

What the hell was up with Jesus' severed head appearing to both Lafayette and his conservative mother (Alfre Woodard)? And she was completely like, "whatever" with it! What the what?!

Tara was totally rocking the vampire garb this week. Hoyt, on the other hand...

Russell Edgington healthy: The more, the merrier. Russell Edgington post-burial, pre-feeding: I want to vomit.

So far, my predictions for other deaths this season are just limited to Hoyt and Tara. Any other speculations?

Also, I can't follow anything that's going on at the Authority. My ears are picking up the same thing every episode: "Blah Blah Lilith Blah Blah Equals Blah Blah Traitors and things!"

Related: I wonder if Roman has a "coexist" bumper sticker on his car/coffin/hearse/whatever they're driving these days.

"We say goodbye, and the next thing, you guys are back in my house and a 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood ... Must be Thursday!" - Sookie

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