The working title was "gay Christian dialogue," a phrase that makes everything sound so simple: there are gay people, there are straight people, there are Christians.
The dialogue itself taught me otherwise.
For roughly two days, Oriented to Love: Sexual Diversity in the Body of Christ drew together a dozen people who defied simple description, and our conversation gave me a taste of the astounding complexity behind our sexuality. I learned about gay and lesbian people who, while fully owning their orientation, have chosen celibacy because of a deep fealty to their faith tradition. I learned about people who believe that nearly all sex is blessed and expresses aspects of God, even one-night stands. I learned about gay people who, out of a deep and undeniable love, married their closest friends -- of the opposite sex. I heard how our culture has so corrupted our view of sexuality that we have no idea how to touch one another physically, no matter how much we crave it. I learned more about the definition of queer and those who believe marriage should be between one man and one woman.
The twist, for me, is that all these people are striving to live faithfully to the call of Christ.
It's tempting to scramble for a logical resolution to such a paradox -- to filter all the words and perspectives and proceed efficiently to an opinion. I would submit that a great deal of what passes for dialogue on this issue has done just that. Hence, people are quick to conclude that those on the other side are "rationalizing their lifestyle" or "trying to get with the times" or "hiding behind the Bible to avoid change" or simply "pushing their political agenda."
Yes, there are people who do these things. My 11 companions in this dialogue were not among them. For two days, we did not seek a logical solution, but rather lived with the paradox. While sharing our personal stories of sexuality and gender with one another, we also explored thoughts I have rarely, if ever, heard in this context: our need for simplicity in the face of complexity, the value of surrendering our vision of what wholeness looks like, the daunting task of living authentically when social systems favor people who are not you, the need for the Church's repentance of the way it has treated LGBTQ people.
What if we all started living with the paradox for a while -- the paradox of people with myriad different practices and viewpoints living faithfully in the midst of them? Out of these paradoxes, questions often emerge. Here are a few that have emerged for me:
At one point during Oriented to Love, a fellow participant, who knew about my background in advertising, asked what I'd write as a headline to describe the dialogue. While he meant the question as a joke, it got me thinking. And what I came up with was this: "Stop defining. Start listening. This is way more complex than you think."
In that spirit, I would love to hear your input. Grapple with the questions above, or raise your own. I would only ask that you avoid the simplistic. Live with the paradox and speak out of it. Maybe we can break new ground in hearing one another -- as Oriented to Love did in such an extraordinary way.
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The same reason that reforms a drunk, calms the angry, and causes one to assist his enemy with a house fire, suggests reason's place. How else can one decide to be celibate, quite smoking or drinking? Reason is more involved than we care to admit; even in Christianity. When the commandments says: "do not covet" we must reason between rational desire and covetness, then choose.
You can claim "Poof!" all you want, yet many people find value in their religious traditions.
Until they have to think about it rationally for 10 minutes.
Thanks for playing.
Rational thought is not mutually exclusive with family, friends, or communities.
Some people do value it, and that's fine.
Some people don't. The previous commenter said nothing about removing religion, only stated that it wasn't *required*... especially by those who find themselves in a 'paradox' as the author claims.
Our lives may not always be turned to rationality, but that doesn't mean we should abandon it completely, else be forced to deal with constant conflict of self.
And way too complex.
That may be changing for the young gays. Being gay in 2011 is not the same stigma as 20 years ago. That's a good thing. That doesn't mean that the stigma is not there, it just means that some gays are more likely to find gay or straight peers who accept them, and who accept themselves.
But the fact is, none of this matters as long as the anti-gay social conservatives continue to dominate public discussion and dominate the major christian churches.
In gay culture, christians and republicans are outsiders. They are marginalized. They have problems keeping gay friends and finding partners.
I admit I am no expert on the topic. I have only one gay christian friend. He is severely OCD/ADD, He needs "god" to keep him safe. Religion is good for him. It helps ground him. But he has not had sex with another man in 10 years, or he doesn't admit it. Is that really healthy? Certainly not for most, but maybe for him. I try not to judge. But I get really tired of the "god loves you", the "bless you" and the other god crap. My friends can't stand his god arrogance. I find it hard too.
There are many LGBT Christians and they are not ostracized in the gay community, there are also LGBT people who are Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, etc. There are plenty of congregations out there that are all inclusive and the LGBT community has formed its own congregations and religious groups. MCC Church was founded by and for LGBT Christians, it has been around for decades and has branches all over the country, they participate in gay pride parades, host gay support groups, AA meetings, etc. They're very much a part of the LGBT community.
Gay Republicans receive a lot of flack because the GOP has embraced a stance against equal rights for LGBT people for political gain. Christianity as a whole has not, only politically active congregations that are mostly fundamentalist and anti-gay. Until the GOP abandons this hateful and destructive agenda, gay Republicans deserve to be challenged.
Maybe it's much easier to do this from the outside looking in. I left Christianity at a very young age and I'm glad I did. I have no problem with Christians in general but I have no patience with bigotry and intolerance cloaked in a few Bible quotes.
I commend you for your efforts and I hope you're able to change hearts and minds.
What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10 nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom. 11 And yet that is what some of YOU were. But YOU have been washed clean, but YOU have been sanctified, but YOU have been declared righteous in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God.
Yes that is what they were so what made them change?Accurate knowledge of Gods will and purpose for mankind. 2 Tim3v16-17 John 17v3
Psalm 25v4-5 "Make me know your own ways, O Jehovah; Teach me your own paths. 5 Make me walk in your truth and teach me, For you are my God of salvation.
Biblically speaking, the matter is quite clear, is it not? The Bible just plainly shows that homosexuality is wrong. The Scriptures are thus consistent, not just showing the bad effects of this practice, but also properly condemning what produces those ill effects.
But it has become fashionable among homosexuals to argue that primarily the apostle Paul, not Jesus Christ, spoke against homosexuality. How valid is that contention?
JESUS AND HOMOSEXUALITY
Well, to start with, those who so argue ignore the fact that the Bible refers to the words of Paul as part of ‘Scripture’ and thus beneficial for “setting things straight.” (2 Tim. 3:15-17; 2 Pet. 3:15, 16) But an honest examination of the words of Jesus shows that he, too, did indeed speak against homosexuality.
He said, as recorded at Matthew 19:9 according to the Revised Standard Version (RSV): “Whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery.” The Greek word for “unchastity” that Matthew here employs in penning Jesus’ words is por‧nei′a. Por‧nei′a is related to the verb por‧neu′o, meaning “to give one’s self to unlawful sexual intercourse.”
Some churches HAVE done that. It may not be lived out in the day-to-day practice of congregations, but in policy the Episcopal, UCC, and ELCA denominations, among others, welcome everyone. The GLBT community has full value as children of God in these denominations- able to preside, minister and participate. Some congregations are closed to these policies, but many others are welcoming. I'm Lutheran, and tired of being lumped in with stereotypes of Christianity. Just as gender and sexual orientation are complex, so is American Christianity, and it's frustrating that it's been hijacked by a group with a very specific, conservative agenda.
The plane of Christianity has long been aimed toward the twin targets of freedom and equality... it's not something new, it isn't a surprise, they didn't just jump on in the last couple decades with all this baggage. The original view is what -built- the plane.
You are the hijackers. You have got to change the 'very specific, conservative agenda' that is the track record of Christianity.