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In Hypocritical, Logic-Challenged Santorum, Tea Party Voters Like What They See

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To the self-proclaimed Tea Party voters of America's middle class, potential GOP nominee Rick Santorum offers a tantalizingly rich smorgasbord of traditionally undesirable leadership traits: Hypocritical political opportunism, smug defiance of the law of contradiction, and the ability to proffer sound bites containing hopelessly illogical, potentially catastrophic, and mercifully unworkable plans for America's future.

Esther Blodgett, a Tea Party organizer in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, says she thinks Santorum is "Unquestionably the right man for the wrong job." Blodgett, who is known locally as "that idiot bitch with the tricorn hat," developed a strong preference for Santorum after carefully studying the thumbnail Wikipedia entries for each GOP candidate and then meticulously fact-checking the information by watching a couple of hours of Fox And Friends.

Many of Blodgett's fellow Tea Party sympathizers agree. "The thing that most impresses me about Santorum is his willingness to say whatever it takes," said Bill Sykes of Rapid City, South Dakota. "I'll admit, Romney does have moments where he's clearly on the verge of jettisoning logic altogether, but then he pulls back. You know what I think? I think he cares more about keeping his precious toehold on reality than bringing in Tea Party votes."