Egocentric or Allocentric Connectedness?

Last Saturday I watched Brian Solis interview filmmaker Tiffany Shlain, the founder of Webby Awards, about her new film Connected.

Near the end, Solis made a thought-provoking statement -- that our connections today are greatly centered around ourselves in an egosystem, because they center around our own interests. This bothered me. I am constantly trying not to be enticed by the rampant growth of narcissism in our world today.

Self-absorption is something to mindfully resist. If we only focus on our interests and not on the community at large, we risk not understanding different world views and how those differences contribute to our world. Also, intellectual disruption leads to growth.

Parallel play is what children do before they are able to see and understand what others are doing. It is a normal part of child development, but adults should guard against parallel conversations. I blogged on how small business can do this in Parallel Playing.

Is our connectedness causing us to grow, or simply reinforcing our comfortable belief systems? I think we are at risk here. I often enjoy exploring the interests of others. This can simply be someone's hobby or their profession. These observations expand my perspective and lead to personal growth. We don't need to exclude ourselves from the tribes and interest groups that feed us, but we should continue to expand our understanding and be more allocentric in our connectedness.

 

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Comments

[ken derow]

08:47 PM on 05/10/2011

Very clearly most people are greatly benefited far more from their allocentric connectedness to others, than to an egocentric connectedness to themselves. Connectedness to others manifrested by the COMPASSIONATE intent we create for ourselves, but transfer to others we care for and, care about. It is through the creation and transference of compassion that our best, most rewarding and strongest connections to others is made. Compassion is the care, concern, attention and love we have for ourselves and we send to others. Compassion is the wellspring from which so may good things flow, things like better health, better well-being, better self-esteem and, even better longervity. A deficit of compassion, a denial of love for ourself and/or others, is the root of ill-health, both mental, emotional and physical. You cannot create too much compassion, nor can you receive too much compassion from others. Compassion has no negatives, no downsides, no unintended consequences. It is all good.

More compassion in our lives means less stress, more joy, less emotional voids, more emotional fullness. From compassion comes less violent thoughts directed at ourselves, or directed at those we may be different from. More compassion means more peaceful intentions, a more peaceful and less violent society. More compassion means a better life for us as individuals, for us as a society and, for all of us living in this world.

[John Bergquist]

09:39 PM on 05/10/2011

So true Ken. Thanks for adding that.