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The Catholic Church and Sexuality: If Only the Hierarchs Would Listen and Learn

Posted: 11/14/11 06:11 PM ET

Few Roman Catholic seminaries can boast an active and vibrant GLBT student organization. Boston College's School of Theology and Ministry is one. Since April 2011, the "GIFTS" group ("G/L/B/T Inclusive Fellowship of Theology Students") has planned and hosted prayer services for the school community. We've celebrated the long tradition of believers who have lived their Catholicism through same-sex love, non-traditional gender roles and the quest for social justice. We have also asked some difficult questions: How can GLBT lay people with a proven calling to ministry best serve the Catholic Church? What is our responsibility to a clergy and leadership which is often homophobic and paternalistic, and profoundly conflicted about sex?

Recently, four GIFTS members and I drove to Fairfield University in Connecticut for "The Care of Souls: Sexual Diversity, Celibacy and Ministry" -- the last of this autumn's "More than a Monologue" series on sexuality and the Catholic Church. We went to hear Rev. Donald Cozzens, a respected researcher on the Catholic priesthood and a former seminary president; Mark Jordan, a queer theologian and ethicist at Harvard Divinity School and Jeannine Gramick, a Catholic nun who was silenced by the Vatican for her work with lesbians and gays. We found four themes particularly compelling: the struggles of a closeted clergy, the dynamics of Catholic patriarchy, the troubling theology of priestly vocation and the powerful Christian witness offered by lesbian nuns.

For Cozzens, the Vatican's prohibition of gay men entering the priesthood has worked much like the (now defunct) policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Gay men have not left the priesthood (Cozzens estimates they make up 30-50 percent of US priests), and they also continue to enter -- either by lying about their orientation, or by keeping it under wraps at the direction of seminary directors. Yet gay priests must steer firmly clear of their sexual identity in their preaching and public personas. As GIFTS member Oliver Goodrich asked, "How can so many priests, who preach a gospel of liberation and authenticity, lead such inauthentic lives?"

Jordan was more provocative. In a church that defines "the few and the proud" as its straight male celibate clergy, power gets tangled with maleness. But the clergy's desire for power animates an unseemly dance of dominance, submission and career advancement. Within all-male hierarchical settings, this can smack of sado-masochist pleasures. Accepting gay men into seminary, or acknowledging same-sex love, shines an unwelcome light on these homoerotic dynamics. To keep this psychology intact and in shadow, the hierarchy must keep gay men (and straight women) out.

The notion that ritual and organizational leadership requires abstinence from sexual love is another problem for Catholic ministry. For almost 2000 years, Catholic monks and nuns have accepted celibacy as a form of spiritual practice. For 1100 years, Catholic priests could marry and raise children. Today, Church officials insist that everyone called to the priesthood automatically receives the "grace" (or spiritual power) to live a celibate life. Why must these two be connected? As Jocelyn Collen, another GIFTS member, remarked, "Grace is not given to someone on command. No one -- not even the Vatican -- can direct the grace of God."

Gramick's reflections were perhaps the most hopeful. Drawing from decades of work with lesbian nuns, she described a non-patriarchal model of ministry in which warm and affirming female friendships support lives of celibacy, service and prayer. For these nuns, the experience of sexual orientation is about the longing for intimacy, the romantic desires that shape personality and interpersonal life. This makes profound psychological sense. Lesbian and gay celibates need intimate same-sex friendships; in the same way, straight men called to celibacy need warm and affirming relationships with women. Without such intimate friendships, frustrations multiply, boundaries decay and ministers tragically act out.

At the end of the day, we drove back to Boston through the worst October snowstorm in years, and a certain chill still remains. I've co-written this article with another GIFTS student, whose goal is to teach in a Catholic school. The insights of this minister-in-training are all over this article. But to protect his/her future employment, I cannot disclose a name. Like the prayers that GIFTS has written, and the GLBT saints that we've recalled, the insights of marginalized Catholics speak of Spirit, courage and truth. Our hierarchs should listen and learn.

 
 
 
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08:01 PM on 11/25/2011
Read "The Art Exhibit No Catholic Should Miss: 'HIde/Seek' at the Brooklyn Museum" in its entirety, on Indie Theology http://tinyurl.com/6ohekr4
10:59 AM on 11/17/2011
It's funny that the writer says Catholic priests are not allowed to marry and raise children. The Truth is they are and still do in many of the Eastern Rites of the Church. Just do a little research.... It's a disapline in the Latin Rite, but not in many of the other Rites ( I think about 20) in union with Rome.
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Rayosun
a life-long liberal Democrat and devout Christian
08:52 AM on 11/17/2011
You would imagine that well-informed "liberal" Catholics to be well-informed about the history of their church. But as a former R.C. priest and seminary professor, I've been amazed at how little any Catholics know - other than the extremely romanticized version they have been taught by the church itself. -
Gays may be aware that the Nazis persecuted gays, but they aren't aware of the fact that, as I show at http://JesusWouldBeFurious.Org/Nazileadership.html , most of the top leadership were drawn from the Roman Catholic church, and that their contempt for the Jews and for homosexuals was inspired by over a thousand years of R.C. teaching and action. Would Catholic anti-semitism have ended if Hitler had not been defeated on the battle field?
Power has never been given up willingly and people who dream of the pope and bishops ever "listening and learning" need to wake up. Why continue to torture yourselves and continue to lend credibility by your membership in it to an institution that is anything but what it claims to be, i.e. "one, true and holy"? See http://JesusWouldBeFurious.Org/
01:50 PM on 11/15/2011
I am sick and tired of these infiltrators in the Catholic Church. There's already a Church that preaches and believes what you liberals preach and believe: IT'S CALLED THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH. I would never want to encourage someone to turn apostate and become a Protestant (conversion and repentance are certainly preferable to that), but barring conversion I would simply say: THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH WELCOMES YOU.
04:46 PM on 11/15/2011
If you understood Catholic theology you would understand a fundamental difference between Catholic and Protestants. A Catholic is called by God to be a member of the church and the person responds in Baptism. When called by God and responding in Baptism you do not leave the church because it is God who called you first. Protestant churches are formed when people follow a human impulse to join together united in common belief. Very different approach to religion. I remain a Catholic despite the bishop's attempts to alienate me. The Church is not God, it is an avenue to God. I hope God judges you the way you are judging others.
06:33 PM on 11/15/2011
I agree with your contention that Catholics are called by God to be members of the Church through baptism, but what in tarnation is that worth when you spend your entire Catholic life dissenting from settled doctrines of the faith? If you can't say with firmness that you believe everything that the Catholic Church believes and teaches to be revealed by God, then why would you remain a member of the Catholic Church? Makes no sense to me. If I didn't believe in the Catholic Faith I'd promptly resign my membership and take up with a religion I agreed with. It would be a supreme exercise in futility for me to waste my time in a church that I was constantly at war with.
07:02 PM on 11/16/2011
Why would bishops attempt to alienate you if you are Catholic?
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Rayosun
a life-long liberal Democrat and devout Christian
12:23 PM on 11/23/2011
RLTthomas, If you had any idea what the popes and bishops have done to the clear teaching and example of Jesus, you would recognize that THEY are the "infiltrato­rs" who have destroyed the movement that Jesus of Nazareth intended, as I show at http://JesusWouldBeFurious.Org/
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mrld20
11:15 AM on 11/15/2011
Being gay and Catholic is a hard thing to do... The Church support group Courage is resoundingly negative... The atmosphere for gay people (even celibate ones like me) is toxic...
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thegodlessgeneration
better to embrace hard truth than reassuring fable
12:40 PM on 11/15/2011
Then, why be Catholic?
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mrld20
03:16 PM on 11/15/2011
There's a saying that says once your baptized and confirmed your always a catholic... Why the Church even lists you as Catholic even if you renounced the faith or been excommunicated... it's pretty scary...
01:41 PM on 11/15/2011
unless you advertise you are gay then nobody will know. If you are celibate then you shouldn't have a problem being an upstanding Catholic. Anytime a person sins against themselves and God they have a problem. Sometimes people in the Church are treated as different. That is a cross you should be happy to carry. Just think of the size and weight of the Savior's cross in comparison. The only easy life is an evil one. Stand and be counted!
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mrld20
09:10 PM on 11/15/2011
The problem is im the stereotypical gay guy (even though Im celibate) everything about me screams gay... Even if it is only a stereotype... And there's the problem that us gays open are big mouths and scream gay at the top of our lungs... LOL
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Rayosun
a life-long liberal Democrat and devout Christian
09:12 AM on 11/17/2011
During my many years as a seminarian and then a priest, I maintained my celibacy. But when I realized that celibacy was the hieararchy's idea and that it was unjust to REQUIRE celibacy as a condition for ordination, just as it would be unjust for government officials to require that you vote Democratic in order to become a citizen, I decided to LEAVE the priesthood and the Catholic church rather than be a hypocrite and profess to believe (and teach by my endorsement of this church by my very membership in it) what the R.C. church insists is incompatible with its faith.
As for conservative priests who have PROVEN that they can't practice voluntary celibacy THEMSELVES, to expect gays to be celibate when they HAVEN'T volunteered to be celibate, what execrable arrogance!
06:27 AM on 11/15/2011
It's amazing how much religious organizations resemble bowling leagues and motorcycle gangs in the way they function routinely. Religion is more about tribalism than theology. In fact, the God issue seems to be mainly a recruiting tool and a way to keep the followers in line and kicking in their dues regularly. It's sad and funny at the same time, but probably will wind up destroying humankind.
05:19 AM on 11/15/2011
Thank you for this reflection. I was a religious until I was 47, I am now 60. I worked in seminary formation on the college level, directing students that celibacy is celibacy and you did have to leave because you are gay. After a shrink was fired for using a text on human sexuality which spoke of masterbation and homosexuality as natural, I ( nurse) was tasked to teach the subject but could not discuss masterbation, birth control, homosexuality. Frequently students would ask me about these questions because I seemed "worldly". These were honest sincere men (gay and straight) who were seeking to understand the Church's teachings. When a Bishop told us to go through student rooms to see if a student had plants in their room (gay) or base ball hats (straight) I had had enough. I am active in my parish (dont ask, dont tell). I will let God work out the details
11:28 PM on 11/15/2011
I hope you have a long and productive career as a parish-level "infiltrator" on behalf of the Holy Spirit. Don't ask, don't tell, just do God's work!