Democrats Vote to Rewrite Obama

Subject to revisionism

WASHINGTON (AP) - In a closed-door caucus meeting, House Democrats voted to reject President Barack Obama "as currently written."

The House speaker, Nancy Pelosi, said changes would need to be made to the president's narrative before she would allow his tax proposals to come to the floor.

"We are going to vote on an amendment to increase Obama's anger levels," said Ms. Pelosi. "For our part, we are agreeing to a ten-year reduction in sanctimony, although that won't take effect until next year."

She disagreed with Obama's defense of compromise.

"FDR didn't compromise. Lincoln didn't compromise. Millard Fillmore didn't compromise," said Ms. Pelosi. "I mean, they did, but you know what I mean."

Pelosi outlined the Democrats' strategy. "For the next two weeks we're going to complain about Obama's tax proposals and then approve them," she said. "Then we're going to say we support him while cutting his balls off. Next we're going to primary him and lose the election. Then we're going to be out of power for the next 28 years."

Meanwhile, she said Democrats would continue to focus on Obama's unforgivable failures, shortcomings and disappointments, but in a non-purist, non-sanctimonious way.

"We're not like Glenn Beck saying Obama is a socialist," said Ms. Pelosi. "We're more like Michael Moore saying Obama should take off his tutu."

Obama's liberal base objected to the Democrats' objections, saying they weren't objectionable enough.

More trenchant political analysis by John Marshall is available on Tyrannosaurus Rocks.