Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin has gotten a lot of mileage out of saying that one of her first acts as governor of Alaska was to take the governor's jet and "put it on eBay." She doesn't say that it didn't sell (it was sold later, off-line, at a loss), but anyone who has listed a $2.7 million airplane on eBay knows how hard it can be to get bidders.
The lipstick-wearing pitbull says she sold the luxury jet because it was "over the top." Turns out the plane was just the tip of an oil-soaked iceberg. What follows are other, lesser-known items taken from Palin's listings on eBay:
What Not to Name Your Baby By Joe Borgenicht
Starting bid: $4.95
Description: Like new. This popular book intended to save children a lifetime of embarrassment was not read by Seller at least five times, although it is doubtful that "Track" and "Trig" even made it into this book of names. Also probably not read by Seller's pregnant 17-year-old daughter.
1 Right to Choose an Abortion in the Case of Incest 1 Right to Choose an Abortion in the Case of Rape 1 Right to Choose an Abortion for Any Other Reason
Starting bid: 2 Supreme Court Justices
Description: Seller's looking to lose these and fast! Roe v. Wade isn't just the choice her fisherman husband has to make when he's out in his canoe - it's what Seller hopes to help overturn in the next four years.
Ability to Get Along with Brother-in-Law
Starting bid: $.50
Description: Never used. Seller may also sell companion piece, Ability to Get Brother-in-Law Fired. Note: Item is currently being reviewed by an independent investigator hired by the Alaska state legislature.
One Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
Starting bid: 1 campaign contribution (energy megaconglomerates preferred)Description: Like new. 19,049,236 acres of pristine oil and natural gas supplies. Can meet America's energy needs for maybe seven months. Seller has written editorials stating polar bears need not be on Endangered Species list; these can be easily shot.
One Foreign Policy Experience Starting bid: $.01 Description: Consists entirely of Seller's proximity to Russia. Even Seller doesn't expect to sell this one.
Starting bid: $0.00
Description: Seller once supported building a bridge to this item, then backtracked when it became unpopular. Now Nowhere is where rights and privileges enjoyed by non-Evangelicals will eventually end up if Seller gets new job she's currently seeking.
Note to Buyers: The following items have been attributed to Seller, but are, in fact, non-existent: Vice-Presidential Vetting Process, Belief in Global Warming.