The Man of Steele: Truth, Justice and the Pharmaceutical Companies' Way
WASHINGTON - Michael Steele, the Chairman of the Republican Party, said President Obama's current health care proposal threatened to undermine not only health care, but the very concept of unaffordability itself.
"We support an open system where patients are free to choose health care they cannot pay for," said Steele. "An affordable health care option is something we simply can't afford."
"Unaffordability is the bedrock not just of modern medicine, but indeed of all business," he continued. "We didn't run up all those deficits, deregulate every regulation and soak all citizens only to see them get them get something for nothing."
He added that the Republican Party believes government should not interfere with Americans' choices, except the right to choose an abortion, a gay marriage or to not be killed by someone whose gun would have to be pried from their cold, dead fingers.
Steele questioned Obama's truthfulness, implying that the GOP had transcended Watergate, Iran-Contra, non-existent weapons of mass destruction, Dick Cheney's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Congress" policy and affairs that cost Republicans their reputations as well as $96,000.
He said that instead of running health care, the government should stick to what it does best, which is running popular ideas into the ground. "We can't make everything affordable," he said. "What's next? Housing? Education? Above ground pools? Something has to be expensive. We're the U.S., not the Pennysaver."
He said that Republicans would never spend millions on government-run health care, only on television commercials opposing it.
Steele concluded by saying that if Obama recast his health care proposal in different terms, he might get a bipartisan agreement. "Look, we like war and secret counterterrorism activities," he said. "If he called this a War on Germs or a Surgical Strike on Time Spent in the Waiting Room, maybe we'd stop being such dicks about it."