Yesterday I received this email (which I use here by permission):
Dear John,Hi. My name is [deleted]. I am nearly 48 years old, and am married with two grown children. I am also a Methodist minister in Belfast, Northern Ireland. I have come to believe that I live in a black hole which is unknown to other Christians.
We here in Northern Ireland are usually about ten years behind the U.S. in dealing with issues. Well, we are actually about 500 years behind the rest of the world. (If you think the Bible Belt in America is ground zero for fundamentalist Christianity, you should grow up here. We've been killing each other for centuries over points of doctrine. We're still fighting the battles of the Reformation!) So the whole homosexual argument in the church is only getting started here. But believe me, we are a hang-them-high lot in this corner of the world.
Just recently a young woman who was just a teenager at my last church, and who liked to hang around with me, has come out as being gay and is in a relationship with another woman. Her mother (a Christian) has thrown her out and has nothing to do with her, and the church just doesn't want to know her. Yet all she has done is love another human being.
I directed her to your website. At least now she knows that she is still loved by God. So thank you for shining some much needed light into a country that seems to enjoy walking in darkness.
I have tried reaching out through the Internet to Christians who think and feel as I do. You have no idea how many emails I have sent to people online who offered me a different Christianity to the hate-filled Christianity I have grown up with. But none of them have ever answered me back. Not one.
I read your blog, and it reminds me of the Jesus I fell in love with. But here I am -- a woman who agrees with everything you say, and loves the Jesus that you talk about. But I know that if I were to stand up on Sunday morning, and say what I truly believe, there will not be one congregation in the whole of Ireland who would accept what I say.
What do I do John? I have two daughters at university. I have so many debts because of years of being paid such meager wages. How cowardly am I in comparison to the early martyrs and even you? I despair of myself. I truly despise everything my church wants me to love.
I'm sending this with zero expectations of a reply. I'm just so tired of pretending. And what you say is so true. I feel so alone. That's how I feel.
In response to learning of my upcoming visit, my new Irish friend wrote, "I know I should feel for that pastor's pain. And I do! But my overwhelming reaction is one of utter relief. Thank God I'm not the only coward in Christendom!!!!!"
I don't think either the kind woman who wrote the letter above, or the thoughtful church pastor with whom I met, is a coward. Being a pastor is, after all, a job, and part of that job entails not alienating the very people who look to you for spiritual guidance. If our Irish pastor was to preach her true feelings on homosexuality, she'd summarily become unemployed. Her two girls would have to drop out of college. Her whole life would fall apart. And she would lose the power she now possesses to bring about the kind of change she desires.
Better she should continue in office, do her congregants the kind of good she certainly does, and trust that, when the time comes, she will be able to engage members of her church on the gay issue in ways that are natural, productive and healthy. She should of course keep a vigilant watch for such opportunities, and do all she can to create them herself. Her church isn't that backwards: if it was, she wouldn't be a minister there at all.
And it seems to me a safe bet that if she feels the way she does about homosexuality, so do others in her church. I think she might be surprised at how far she can push the gay envelope without tearing it. She is, after all, the leader of her church. People listen to her. She is certainly free to raise for discussion in her church the question of the proper relationship between Christianity and homosexuality, if for no other reason than that all the rest of Christendom is now discussing that very topic. Why shouldn't her church too?
And then through the ensuing discussions she can at the very least show people that she personally is sensitive to the nuances of the issue, that she's troubled by the harm being done to gay and lesbian people by those who seem incapable of showing for them anything but disdain, that she wants to consider this matter prayerfully, compassionately, and honestly. No one will fault her for that. She's a pastor. That's what pastors are expected to do.
She can move the rudder of the ship of her church an imperceptible shade. That's all it takes for a traveling ship to change its course.
What she certainly must do is show her young lesbian friend absolute love and acceptance. That's a personal matter, not subject to the judgment and opinions of others. She must communicate to this hurting young woman, in no uncertain terms, that anyone, her mother included, who responds to her brave revelation by shunning her in the name of the Lord has simply and severely misconstrued the truth and purpose of Christ's message. She mustn't fail to let this young woman know that while some people might disapprove of who and how she is, God does not. If she feels the girl is mature enough to handle it, she should confide in her about her own struggles in getting her church to move toward a fuller understanding of Christs' love. Why not extend this trust? The girl is unlikely to betray her confidence; the pastor will have instantly engendered in her too much loyalty for that. The girl will know that the pastor has, perhaps literally, saved her life. The pastor will become this young woman's hero, forever.
If you are a faith leader who is no longer comfortable preaching or pretending to support the traditional Christian view of homosexuality, the first thing you should know is that you are most certainly not alone. Christianity really is in the middle of a second Reformation. And just like it did the first time around, that means that an awful lot of people, at every level among the practicing faithful, are right now harboring a great many thoughts and doubts which they don't yet feel comfortable sharing with their brethren. But that is changing.
As I said to the doubting pastor with whom I met, "It's like hearing a train whistle off in the distance. And then you hear it again, and it's louder. And the next time you hear it, it's even louder. Well, you don't have to wonder whether or not a train is coming your way. It is." In what history will remember as an astoundingly short period of time from now (go, Internet, go!), the vast majority of Christians will believe that being gay is no more a sin than is being red-headed or left-handed. That train is coming; nothing can stop it.
Some people are going to get hit by this train. Some are going to watch in dumb wonderment as it roars by them. Some, moronically, will try to stop it by hurling Bibles at it.
Most, as it approaches, will hear the great conductor Jesus calling to them.
"All aboard!"
Follow John Shore on Twitter: www.twitter.com/johnshore
LGBT-affirming Christian denominations - Wikipedia, the free ...
LGBT matters and Christianity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Hee hee, that made me smile.
Best advice, "Trust in the Lord (not some liberal contrarian) with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding ( or of your freinds who are contrary to God's ways) and don't be wise in your own opinion (Proverbs 3:5; Romans 12:16).
Remember that God is just...don't gamble with Him being a Loving Nice Guy.
Again, don't lean upon your own understanding. Please read Matthew 7:21 about, "Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father in heaven. Jesus is about righteousness-not lasciviousness or moral relativism. Also please read, Galatians 6:7, about God not being mocked. You are lure to these " save the world" social gospels that these contrarians promote and reject the message in the real Gospel. Read John 3:16 and it appears that God is "A Loving Nice Guy" and I can do anything I want and use the, "But He loves me, " to get a pardon. But read John 3:18-20 and we read that God also has wrath. Now if you're talking about Jesus as "your God", you'd be wise to study His nature. He is just (I'd study that meaning) and if you violate His righteousness, He must punish. Putting it bluntly...He must punish. Please also read Reveation 21:7-8 about His position about those who defend righteousness. Now you can bat your eyes at a police officer and he might let you slide by not writing you a traffic ticket, or your can do that "damsel in distress" act to manipulate a guy to do your bidding, but you are playing with fire in thinking you can BS God with that, "He knows my heart crap." Go for it! (Galatians 6;7")
That does NOT mean that they can't change hearts and minds. Here's some suggestions:
1) Have a teaching time outside normal services in which the different views of Christians on Homosexuality will be presented. Bring in a panel. Have speakers who hold different views on the panel.
2) Do Bible studies on scriptures that affect this discussion. Do a study on Genesis 18-19 and teach your people what it really is about. You don't need to go on and say, "Therefore Homosexuality is not a sin," but you do say, "The sin of Sodom was not Homosexuality, it was extreme inhospitality to the point of gang rape in order to teach outsiders a lesson." Study passages about inclusion like Isaiah 56:3-8 or Matthew 19:10-12 or Acts 8:26-39 and how they include eunuchs who are excluded in Deuteronomy 23:1.
3) Preach boldly and strongly that God loves ALL people and includes ALL people. When celebrating the Eucharist always boldly state "Everyone is welcome at this table."
4) Make sure your church library has materials that are inclusive.
I do my best to be the person I think God wants me to be (emphasis on the word think; unlike him I am not omniscient). And I think it's more likely that I would be judged harshly for being too judgmental than being "too compassionate", if such a thing is possible. So I will continue to embrace loving hearts of all kinds, follow the path I think is right for me and let God judge everybody else because according to him it isn't my place to do so.
That's the crux of it, no? How to get out of a job "leading" a hate group masquerading as a religion? How else can she apply the life skills she's acquired thus far, make a decent living, and still get to keep her conscience? I suggest discussing this with lots of trusted (or anonymous) people. Get guidance in re-applying herself in the job market. The pastor clearly has a head for business and running non-profits or she'd never be a pastor. That's just one skill right there.
She got in as an idealistic, caring, but naive, person. Clearly she didn't realize the depth of bigotry, homophobia, whatever, that exists in typical religious groups, and now needs the paycheck There's plenty of ways to harness her gifts and love of humanity, while continuing to earn a living, and while doing great things for the world.
And Mr. Shore, enough with the rationalizing the incremental rudder adjustments. That didn't work for the Titanic either. This is a religion we're dealing with here, not a cub scout den. Once you've become a part of their "out-group" they'll gouge a hole below your waterline, laugh while you founder, and you still get to hate your cowardice while you're sinking.
I actually had hoped for better from you.
For instance, is there anything in my post that you disagree with, find to be bad advice, and why? There's a start.
Don't be put off by the avatar or the screen name. It's just shorthand for an underlying favorite theme of mine: pointing out religionists/charlatans who've historically enjoyed, and continue to insist upon undue levels of respect.
I'm not a Christian, either, antithichrist. I'm not a big fan of religion-as-power-structure/business. I'm a fan of community, and I'm a fan of living with compassion and empathy, as Jesus taught, as the Buddha teaches, as Muhammed taught. But I can tell you that my faith in the possibilities for Christianity have been restored by Mr. Shore and the many truly Christ-following Christians I've been honored to meet through him. Some of the fundies even come around to love, if you give them enough time and hope.
The the real world where I live, it's the middle of the roaders I seek to assure that the snake oil they've been drinking can safely be left on the shelf, even though it comes in a thousand different flavors. Call it a crusade if you will.
I could agree with your take on large organizations (especially tribalistic, dogmatic ones) needing small course corrections to arrive at a better place (if you don't want to throw a bunch of passengers over the railing with all the sudden turns). OK I'll argue maybe that's not such a bad thing - it got us the reformation, a big step in a good direction, however flawed the outcome.
But we aren't just discussing megatrends. There's also the bit concerning the pastor's cry for help, something much more immediate. IMO She needs to put the helm over hard and get a new direction, put her skills to better use, perhaps leaving behind a life of shilling to the flock, platitudes they're comfortable hearing already, however lucrative. The threads of her life may be about to reach a crux; she could be on the verge of a genuine epiphany, if she has the courage to pass through. I wish her luck and wisdom.
I am also curious about your constant referring to the pastor as "He." The article clearly states the pastor in question is a "she."
constantly at-odds, weather a "Gender-Reassignment" would remedy there transparent
"impotence" in what there "lower-{carnal} power centers" won't provide.
Through no direct faultage of there own, they cannot find joy in places, "Other men find
liberating".
Mormon President Spencer W. Kimball has stressed, and I agree, That there is no
"Third-Sex". Those undergoing the radical methodology of gender-reassignment he
adds, "Will be responsable to there Maker". {See "Miracle of Forgiveness"-Bookcraft}.
If your a Youth, wrestling with your "testostrone", make a forthright effort to "apply"
a diligent "one-on-one" forum with your Dad. This could possibly be the intercession
you need between "sound-mental-health", or its polar oppisite of the use of "Mind-
Altering" drugs, to escape the perpensity to "hang" with friends. Comrades that
do not have the same-innate Chrisitan-Ethics as you do.
It is still a pretty good Place, Strive to be Happy,
"Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop, What Ever You Precieve that Dark Force to Be".
Creepy Jesus. No wafer.
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/08/13/northern.ireland.march/
August 14, 2011
Belfast, Northern Ireland (CNN) -- Sectarian violence flared up Saturday in Londonderry as Protestants continued their annual marching season in this predominantly Catholic city in Northern Ireland.
Violence erupted earlier in the day in the city -- also known as Derry to some residents -- when masked youths attacked police vehicles with petrol bombs and a pipe bomb, setting fire to and hijacking a number of vehicles.
“Every one, though born of God in an instant, yet undoubtedly grows by slow degrees” -- John Wesley.
The danger lies not only in rattling the sensibilities of the congregation while old boundaries are reinterpreted, but also in creating new boundaries, drawing new divisions. As Methodist pastors, we serve not only the individual congregation, but the larger connection - "The world is our parish!" What you say and how you react impacts not only your ministry there today but the ministry of that itinerant who follows you, and then them.
I once served a church that nearly split over an argument about which committee has the proper authority to order replacement parts for their broke-ass lawnmower. It's difficult to love people through their crappy crap, because there's always a sub-text to any church story, sister. It is important to love the young girl and her partner, just as it is important to love the mother in her own struggle. That is so hard, and you have many many in the connection who pray with you.
As for the rest, if you read my comment, you would note that I am atheist, an outsider looking in. I have no response to your potter & clay scenario.