As both a college professor and parent of a college student, this time of year always seems to raise a variety of thoughts as freshly minted high school graduates head off to their new adventures. In couple of weeks, green first-year students will be wandering around campuses everywhere, looking young and confused.
"Where do I find Burdine Hall?" asks the first-year looking impossibly young.
"It's that building right behind you," I answer with a smile, knowing that I will have this conversation several times over the next few days.
Parents and students are nervous, excited, worried about paying bills, and so on. It's a big transition. So what do professors think about all of this? I can't speak for all of my colleagues, but I do have a few suggestions for parents and students heading off to college. First a few thoughts for students:
- Don't get too stressed out, particularly about grades. The first semester may be a little rough as the transition to college unfolds. AP students, in particular, need to be careful about stressing over grades. You've been sold a bill of goods if your teachers told you AP classes are just like college classes. They aren't. College classes are more difficult and much more in-depth. If you attend a research university, you will be studying with the people who write the books and articles and they will be teaching based upon both their own and others' research. It will be challenging.
For parents, here are three things to keep in mind:
- Leave your kids alone. Let them explore college and let them make mistakes. They will learn from those mistakes and grow up in the process. Don't hover over them and don't constantly check to make sure they are doing laundry or that they are studying. Encourage them to do well, but don't stress them out. I once had a student tell me his father warned him that anything less than a 3.5 GPA would mean he'd be financially cut off. This is not a way to support your child as he or she adjusts to a new and different lifestyle and a complex set of demands.
Finally, both parents and students need to recognize that college is a tremendous opportunity to spend four years at a place where knowledge is created. Students are exposed to new ideas and their preconceptions about the world are often challenged deeply. This is good; it is what makes you grow as a person and more able to deal with the complex world in which we live.
Parents, expect your kid to change--if your kid doesn't change, then there is something wrong either with the college or with the way your child is accessing all that a college has to offer.