President Obama took questions from reporters today in response to unfolding allegations that the season premiere of HBO's Entourage was lackluster.
"Across our country, Americans are wrestling with the housing crisis," the President explained to a visibly rankled Dana Milbank of the Washington Post. "And as we can all see, living in a huge mansion with Vincent Chase can prolong a different kind of recession--a recession of maturity. Many Americans can learn from E's struggle to decide if he should get his own fat-ass pad, and maintain his independent sovereignty from Turtle and Drama.
"I would suggest that detractors be more worried about E's vulnerability to Sloan," the President observed.
In the hastily-arranged press conference, the President sought to allay concerns of shark-jumping about his favorite show, re-kindled by the ease with which Vincent Chase ended up starring in a new Martin Scorsese film.
"It could happen," Obama insisted.
"This season brings a new era of hope and potential for all of the gang," the President continued, "Just look at how Lloyd stood up to Ari and demanded a promotion. Can you imagine him doing that two seasons ago? We are seeing signs of progress in this tough job market, but it's not going to happen overnight, people."
President Obama declined to fully respond to Helen Thomas's pointed question, "Why should we sympathize with a bunch of young rich white guys smoking weed and boning starlets, to whom suffering is waiting to get a call back from your agent?"
"I don't tell the American people how to live their lives or what to watch," the President bristled. "And if they don't want to learn from Ari's negotiating skills, their loss."
While there had been talks on Capitol Hill this past week that Vincent Chase might not be able to revive his star status after last year's maligned indie film effort, the President seemed determined to prove his critics wrong.
"Did you see Vinnie ace it on Leno?" Obama asked ABC's Jake Tapper defiantly. "That DMV story killed."
The President did not respond to specific questions about the fact that both Jay Leno's Tonight Show and My Name is Earl were already off the air when they were referenced in the Entourage season premiere, a show once revered for its up-to-the minute cache.
Conservative commentators seized upon the first episode of the season to launch a barrage of criticism against the Obama Administration.
On MSNBC's Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough frothed, "You see that humongous mansion and vintage cars and lavish carefree lifestyle they live because of the millions Vince gets for each movie he makes? Obama wants to tax that."
Dick Morris wrote in a column for TIME Magazine, "This just goes to show that Nancy Pelosi should resign." The Drudge Report and other conservative blogs led with stories alleging that Obama was really watching Entourage to check out Jamie Lynn Sigler's ass.
William Kristol, appearing on Fox News, insisted, "Mark my words, this Entourage show is over: absolutely no one is watching it, or discussing it the next day at their workplace. Adrian Grenier is not even hunky. But you look at a series like Touched by an Angel, now there is a show that people relate to because of its conservative values. In fact, I predict it will be a breakout hit this year."
Cross-posted at www.johnennis.tv