The Legacy of Steve McNair... A Good Man Just Not Perfect

Football great and even better person, Steve McNair violently lost his life amid circumstances that will undoubtedly tarnish his public image.

But should it?

I know that despite what I write many people will be too consumed with venom to consider my words. I will be instantly vilified when I don't jump on the band wagon and condemn Steve McNair as a horrible adulterer. Steve McNair, a man that in the minds of many (as ridiculous as it may be) honestly feel "that he got what he deserved".

I am sorry. I do not condone cheating on your spouse but neither he nor Ms. Kazemi deserved such a horrific end.

I am not a friend of Steve McNair's. I only met him in passing. But I am familiar with several of his former teammates. On occasion for one reason or another before the miserable events of the past weekend, Steve's name would come up and the worst thing that I ever heard about Steve McNair was "Man, that's a good dude"!

People, many of which are current or retired professional athletes couldn't say enough genuinely nice things about the young man. And for those that don't spend much off the record casual time around pro athletes let me tell you for the most part praise is hard to come by. I don't think that it would be a mischaracterization to state that Steve McNair was universally liked and respected by his peers.

Professional athletes and other celebrities should be viewed as talented human beings and not gods worthy of worship. And as all human beings they will inevitably make mistakes... nothing more nothing less.

Steve McNair's poor decision has apparently played some part in the loss of his and Ms. Kazemi's lives. Should his lifetime of good deeds now be considered worthless? Should he be forever portrayed as a villain that met his demise involved in some sorted tale?

I will take the road less traveled and side with the quiet minority. Steve McNair was a good man that made a poor decision. He should be remembered for all of the good that he did and the many people that he influenced in a positive manner.

Comments

[mbalso]

When you put a 36 year old man with a 19 year old she is not a woman. She is a kid.

Many see it as---- "Because of her he is dead."

Perhaps it is equally (or more accurate)--- "Because of him she is dead."

He manipulated her. Start to finish.

Several articles have mentioned she was "unstable".

Maybe a little unstable but perhaps mostly devastated.

She had announced to her family (and shunned their disapproval) that he was going to marry her. She comes from a conservative culture where personal honor accounts for actions we have difficulty understanding. That could have come into play.

Bottom line ---he used, manipulated, and most importantly, deceived this kid (not woman).

Forget about him for a moment.

Without him she would still be alive.

[Malkin71]

Also, by that logic...

If I go to work for a company, and I'm young and they have been in business for a long time, and they lie to me about the money, the work, the hours, etc. if they tell me I have a job for life and that I'm so pretty and etc.

And then they fire me....

BY YOUR LOGIC....they would deserve the postal payback????

People are responsible for their own actions.

Stop excusing murder.

[Malkin71]

You have NO idea what was said between them. How dare you judge them?

Maybe McNair was 100% honest with her?

Maybe she just wanted to "know" a famous man? She KNEW he had a wife and kids.

Also, I don't care if he told her that he was GOD and that his bed was the path to heaven...

JUST FYI, no matter what people SAY to you...you don't get to SHOOT them...

[Malkin71]

Listen up men....you'd better be perfect...

How clever are women?

They find out the ONE thing we like the most and then make that THE ULTIMATE TEST of love...

Think about it...having sex with another woman is basically the only super deal breaker in marriage...anything else and most people will try to work it out....cheating is the only one where EVERYONE says it's ok to give up on everything....

Sorry, McNair, you couldn't go more than 70 years without experiencing the thing that gives you the most pleasure in life (for the moment) so you are a bad, horrible person who, evidently, deserved his fate....

[Malkin71]

Kazemi didn't get what she deserved?????

She made the choice?

The guy who was asleep on his couch did not deserve his fate....

The woman who murdered him in cold blood....I can argue DESERVED much worse...

[dc news girl]

I can make this super easy for you: Pro Athlete retires in 2007 after 12 years in NFL . Pro Athlete misses the adulation/ego stroking of the masses. Pro Athlete seeks that attention out from a naive 19 year old (at the time of meeting) girl. Pro Athlete shows young girl the time of her life, thereby forgetting his anxiety about his life and future. The whole time, Pro-Athlete knows he will eventually end it either by telling her he and his wife are going to try and work it out or by just picking a fight and walking away. Pro Athlete, in all his narcissism, does not account for the fact that this girl is IN LOVE and he has built her dream up so tall, the crash will be immense. Pro Athlete ends the relationship. Girl snaps and kills him and herself. Its really quite simple. Hopefully its will serve as a cautionary tale for all other married professional athletes maintaining "sparsely furnished" ho-pads mere miles from their homes for their escapades.

[Bobbi9698]

A bad decision? You make it sound like he had a drink with Ms. Goodbar. Steve McNair, according to many articles that have come out over the past few days, was a big frequenter of bars, which, by the way, is where he met Ms. Kazemi. He did not accidentally pick her up; chat her up; install her in his apartment; and buy her an Escalade. He did not 'forget' to tell his wife about this---he just didn't and when Ms. Kazemi got picked up for a DUI, he must have had second thoughts about the relationship. Ms. Kazemi bought a gun and, well, that's where the judgment went really bad. Some idiot sold someone under 21 a gun, who was upset that her lover might go back to his wife. While McNair then became the victim, it was his series of bad decisions that got him there in the first place and will land his children in therapy for years.

Thinking with the small head.

[badmama3]

Thank you for posting this. Prior to the details of his relationship with Kazemi emerging, every comment I read on this site and others was unanimously what a great guy he was, how generous he was, how he made such a difference in the lives of underprivileged youth. Now that it has been revealed that he wa involved in an extra-marital relationship, the tone of the comments has become decidedly nasty.
Unfortunately, the circumstances of how he died have overshadowed all the good Steve did. I would argue that all the good Steve contributed to the world greatly outweighs his affair. McNair was not flaunting this affair, and I have a feeling he may have tried to break things off with Kazemi, which provoked their horrible deaths. I don't think this good man deserves to be villified in death.

[Sapphite]

"Steve McNair was a good man that made a poor decision."
By my count, there were many poor conscious decisions.
1. He asked for the 20 year old woman's phone number.
2. He called her.
3. He gave her his phone number.
4. He accepted calls from her.
5. He went out on a date with her.
6. He took her on vacation.
7. He had sex with the 20 year old woman.
8. He spent time with her that could have been spent with his wife.
9. He spent time with her that could have been spent with his first son.
10. He spent time with her that could have been spent with his second son.
11. He spent time with her that could have been spent with his third son.
12. He spent time with her that could have been spent with his fourth son.
Of course, I don't know the chronology of his relationship with the 20 year old woman.
But I do know, that it's always more than "A bad decision."
Amazing how it's always..... I made a mistake...... I made a bad decision.... I made a bad choice.
It's not just one, it's never just one.
Many, many conscious bad decisions were made by both of the adults involved.
Steve McNair made one poor choice after poor choice after poor choice.
Did he "deserve" a horrible death..... no. Is that what happened.... yes.
Was it a result of his numerous poor "decisions".... yes.

[Malkin71]

You can play this game with anyone....

If you leave your house late at night to buy junk food....that is a poor decision.

If you get broadsided by a semi on the way to the 7-11, then that poor decision got you killed.

I wonder how you'd appreciate people either implying or outright stating that your poor decision means you deserved your fate....

If you have a beef with adultery, fine...make that point seperate....or else explain this....FAR, FAR more men are killed by their wives than their mistresses.

So, why not start McNair's poor decisions with....he got married.

[losangelesgirl]

It is interesting to me how all the different media are going after this story. Was McNair a family man, as so many of us want to believe? Or was he an adulterer, who didn’t stand a chance of explaining himself to his fans? I think it is interesting to listen to what the media are saying about him now.
http://www.newsy.com/videos/mcnair_superstar_or_adulterer

[Scurvybro]

Whether McNair's "good deeds" should "now be considered worthless," or whether the man himself should "forever portrayed as a villain" is somewhat of a straw man. To posit the most extreme negative reaction and speak out against it is hardly taking a brave stand.

However, I am struck by the almost blase, nonjudgmental characterization of his philandering as a "poor decision," as if we're talking about wearing white socks with a tuxedo. I get the point about not condemning the entirety of a man's life for one part of it. But let's not forget that because of McNair's "poor decision," his devastated widow will have to be tormented the rest of her life knowing that her husband was living a lie, and that he died because of it.

[tennesseegirlie]

you couldn't have written any better.....and you are so right! he was a genuinely good man who made a poor decision. the entire town of nashville loved this guy so much! thanks for looking at the good side.