THE BLOG
04/11/2016 11:21 am ET | Updated Apr 11, 2016

Haiku for Moms of Small Children

2016-04-10-1460309699-9701741-IMG_3805.JPG

Hey, nice to meet you!
Check out these recent photos
As I have no shame

--

Coffee, coffee stat
Microwaving steadily
Until wine o'clock

--

Head-sniffing is a
Perfectly decent pastime
Please don't squirm away

--

Laundry everyday
Stain removal like a boss
Chocolate or poop?

--

Mommy's on her knees
Cleaning under your high chair
For the millionth time

--

Diaper-changing fun
Can you hold still for Mommy?
Assistance denied

--

Discipline lingo:
I hear that you're frustrated
Knives are not for kids

--

Repeat after me:
Even if I lose my sh*t
I can still love deep

--

Dad's going potty
Intestinal distress? Or
scrolling on iPhone?

--

Still nursing? OK.
Nobody is judging you
(Or maybe they are)

--

Big plans during naps
Now I'm paralyzed with choice
So, alas, Facebook

--

F*ck, is he asleep?
Thank the Lord, almighty God
Let's look at photos

--

I hear crying. You?
Wait, is that the neighbor kid?
Thank God, pass the wine

--

Who am I again?
Individuality
On the back burner

--

Belly is soft now
But sloppy baby kisses
Are softer yet (yum)

--

Jolie Jenkins writes about her ridiculous adventures in motherhood, showbiz and cooking on her blog Joeycake.

Photo by Jolie Jenkins.

CONVERSATIONS