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Why I Chose "happythankyoumoreplease" Over "sadscrewyougetlost"

Posted: 03/02/11 10:19 AM ET

It's probably not spoiling anything to say that "happythankyoumoreplease," the first movie I wrote and directed, does not end tragically. The title pretty much gives that away. At Sundance, where the movie premiered in 2010, one journalist asked me, given that the theme of the festival that year was 'revolution,' what was revolutionary about my 'feel-good, crowd pleasing movie.' What his question revealed, I think, was the strange bias that many critics and cultural tastemakers share when it comes to optimism in film: that which posits a more hopeful vision of things is somehow dismissed as less real or true than a darker tale which ends on a discordant note. In other words, feel-good movies are less sophisticated than feel-bad movies.

My response to his question was that given the cynicism in which much of indie film traffics, the movie is revolutionary in that it's about love and gratitude, and that it's hopeful not bleak. ("Crowd-pleasing" is a curious designation, if you think about it -- shouldn't every movie be "crowd-pleasing?" Who are movies for, after all?) No matter how dark things may get in a story, I feel it's the responsibility of the storyteller to leave the audience with at least a shred of hope. Jonathan Franzen's Freedom recently provided a great example of this for me. For 500 pages, his characters made ever more terrible decisions that brought them nothing but misery. But Franzen, fulfilling his contract with the readers, pulls us out of the nose-dive at the end and gives us something that feels like grace.

When I was writing "happythankyoumoreplease" I was constantly looking to have the characters screw up in bigger and more bone-headed ways. But half the fun of the tangling is the untangling, watching characters grow up and persevere, and all my favorite movies seem to recognize this. A movie can and should have some real dissonance throughout -- rage, heartache, tears, conflict, catharsis and all the other elements Aristotle demanded of a good story -- but the chord has to be resolved. Swelling strings aren't necessary, but by the end there should, I think, be some acknowledgment and evidence that we're not wretched and doomed creatures. Just let me know, in the simplest way, that everything is going to be okay.

Joan Acocella wrote a piece a few years back in The New Yorker about the continuing popularity of Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet. She writes of the book being "comforting" (not entirely a compliment) and that Gibran had said that "the whole meaning of the book was 'You are far far greater than you know--and All is well.' To people in doubt or in trouble," Acocella writes, "that is good news." But wait, isn't that good news to everyone?

Apparently not, and here's where we get to the basic fault line of what it means to be a human being. Because we're each, as David Foster Wallace wrote, "marooned in our own skulls," interpreting thoughts, feelings, and incidents through our own specially programmed nervous systems, it's difficult to budge someone from their view of "reality" since all the evidence they need is right there in front of them. One man's uplift is another man's sentimental hooey. And no one is right because -- get this: -- everyone is right. All the time. By that I mean one's thoughts about the world are correct. If you believe the world is dark and frightening and people are not to be trusted, you will seek out evidence to confirm this and that will be what you call 'reality.' If you believe the world to be forgiving and ordered and shot through with grace, you will seek out evidence to confirm this and that will be what you call 'reality.'

The acknowledgment of this basic fact tends to unsettle people, and leads culture warriors to lob accusations of "moral relativism." We want to believe there is such a thing as a right or correct worldview. But how can there be with so many nervous systems wired and conditioned in such vastly different manners? This is not to say we don't need laws and standards of behavior, but we have to acknowledge that the world is endlessly varied and complex. Absolutely everything is available to us -- sorrow and joy, grievance and forgiveness, horror and transcendence -- it's all on the menu. It's up to us where we put our attention because (forgive my dip into metaphysics here) we grow whatever it is we put our attention upon. We're like a gardener with a hose and our attention is water -- we can water flowers or we can water weeds.

The dark and fearful stuff is no less 'true' than its opposite, it just announces itself in a louder, more insistent manner. Joy speaks in more of a whisper and you sometimes have to lean in a bit to hear it. But it's always there for those who can get quiet enough to hear it. I'm not a pollyanna -- I get that the world is rife with horrors. But I also know the world is rife with everything else. There's this great Carlos Castaneda quote: "We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." I really believe that. Negativity is so reflexive in our society that it takes great vigilance to train yourself anew. But to me it feels worth it.

I've decided that if I'm going to spend years writing, prepping, casting, shooting, editing, sound mixing, color correcting, and publicizing a movie, I'm going to want it to be the kind of movie I would love, where people grow up and get out of their own ways and open up to something bigger than their own egoic needs. Not because this is a truer version of reality, but because it's the reality I wish to grow, the kind of world in which I would most like to live. When so much else is calling attention to the dark and dysfunctional, I just don't feel it's my job to contribute. Too many people are already on the case.

 
 
 
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12:52 AM on 04/12/2011
It's amazing that this post, just like his the movie is so optimistic yet people will keep finding negative things to say about both. Though I've only been in this world for less than 30 years, I have found that there are only 2 ways to go about live - the pessimistic and the optimistic way.

And Mr. Radnor's correct - they require the exact same amount of energy, yet one leaves you exhausted, the other exhilarated.

I think I'd rather go for the Exhilaration than the exhaustion. That's not to say that my whole life I will forever be happy. of course not. that's not entirely possible. but if 90% of my time will be spent to stay positive, yes the "happily-ever-after" will actually be possible.

just a thought. The law of attraction. I plan to only attract the positives. I think I've had enough of the negatives in my life... plus, true. everyone else seems to be on the case already.
01:26 AM on 04/12/2011
of course i meant "2 ways to go about LIFE"
06:15 PM on 03/15/2011
Way to generate the tweets, Josh! I thinks I'm being realist when I predict success for your movie.
01:49 PM on 03/14/2011
I teach this all the time. Thanks Nicole for originally posting. Love it!
10:49 PM on 03/06/2011
Mr Radnor,

I'm sure you did pour you heart into this project. But unlike all the other commenters, I have actually seen HappyThankYouMorePlease at a free screening at Angelika Film Center. I almost never complain about something if it's free, but I'm sorry to say that this is the worst movie I've seen in years. Not because it's to optimistic, but because it's completely unrealistic.

1. Any New Yorker knows that if they find a lost child they should take him to the station attendant not ask an MTA track worker like Sam did.
2. We're supposed to believe the main characters -- a unemployed writer, a corporate giving employee, a painter that works at an art store, and an aspiring film producer, a cocktail waitress -- can afford to live in huge Manhattan apartments around Union Square without roommates.
3. Mary Catherine nearly broke up with Charlie and basically said she didn't want to marry him. Yet, when reveals that she is pregnant, they don't have a serious discussion about whether or not they should keep the baby, especially because neither of them make enough money to provide a child.
4. Mississippi doesn't cut off all contact with Sam after finding out a lost boy has been living with Sam for three days.
5. Sam's friends should have been more insistent/freaked out by Sam not notifying the authorities about Rasheen.
6. Sam gets out of jail so easily after keeping a missing child at his house for a week.
01:22 PM on 03/07/2011
I'm curious. Why did you choose to dissect Mr. Radnor's film when given the opportunity to support his article? It seems like you have a fantastic ability to dispense facts and figures, so it would be great to see your facts on the percentage of films that are dark and degrading and how research shows how damaging these kind of films are to our health. Instead of attacking an artist for not living up to your expectation of what you deem "realistic", it would be great to hear the facts about what he's actually addressing here in his article. For example, did you know that by the time a kid is in 3rd grade they've witnessed 8,000 acts of violence on television? I know I'm off on the numbers here a bit, but I bet you could straighten me out. :)
10:35 PM on 03/06/2011
most beautiful thing I have read online ever. a life line to those of us who feel like we are sinking into the la brea tar pits of the sadscrewyougetlost internet and modern culture. thank you so much.
10:09 PM on 03/06/2011
Lovely post. Thank-you! I love all genres from musicals to SF & the occasional apolcalyptic zombie movie or 28 Days, etc. But, movies that truly touch me, are the ones that reach into my life, a discussion amongst friends, a hmmm?.. thought @ work, a google online, a giggle that makes people wonder & ask.. What?, a reflective moment in bed, an inspiring blog post for others. They come in waves that flow/ ebb long after the credits roll. I prefer engaging in optimistic hmmms? & reflective moments during those post-movie waves. In that spirit, I look forward to seeing your movie for more such moments...
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Fernando
My Micro-bio is empty? Really?
06:08 PM on 03/06/2011
As an actor who also strives to be an authentic person with authentic tastes, I've always found the "artistic" dark type to be so affected as to seem childish. Not every movie needs to leave one happy, but like Radnor, I think sad, dark and gloomy become an end in itself for some people. Since people are generally more attracted to a happy movie, the so-called critic chooses the opposite because it is not mainstream. This snobbery also takes place in music, literature and academia.

I look forward to seeing your movie.
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incognito-ergo-sum
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10:13 PM on 03/06/2011
Something I have long thought is that movies almost never give us a truly bad person, especially if there are sequals. They made Hannable a leading man and Godzilla a national hero. Only the Bond bad guys seemed to stay bad.

So, in real life it always surprises me that there is no good side in some people. Violence from a smiling person catches me off guard.

Also, the bad men and women are usually better looking in that lean, hungry way then the hero. Who wants to play the good girl when the saloon gal part is open?

I get a kick out of limpbisket's "behind blue eyes" for that reason.

Good luck.
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Mark Germain
06:00 PM on 03/06/2011
Josh, I enjoyed your article and the many excellent distinctions you make. Only one issue, when you felt you had to "apologize" for dipping into metaphysics . . . no forgiveness is needed for having a unique perspective that encompasses something beyond the homogenized world view and having to articulate it in print for others to read - their gain, or not, either way it was you.
05:27 PM on 03/06/2011
What I want to know is if you've met their mother yet?

Seriously, though, good stuff.
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GreatRedShark
03:54 PM on 03/06/2011
"MoreNoThankYouPlease".
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jeanrenoir
03:42 PM on 03/06/2011
Despite the Cold War and possible nuclear annihilation, optimism in our pop culture made perfect sense in the Fifties and early Sixties, when America was alone at the pinnacle of world power, the richest, strongest power in human history, and the future looked (illuisively) bright. But now that America is in an irreversible slide economically, geopolitically, and even militarily (because we can't AFFORD any more of these trillion-dollar wars--not EVER!) vis-a-vis China, and even India, both of which will bury our economy in the next few decades, it seems a wee bit naive to be upbeat. One's recalls Jonathan Swift's perfect definition of "happiness" for Americans today: "Happiness is the serene, peaceful state of being a fool among knaves." According to Swift, the key to such "happiness" is detaching yourself from reality as much as possible, since reality provides nothing but misery-inducing bad news. Instead, says Swift with withering sarcasm, find happiness in living as superficially as possible, sticking to making the surfaces and facades of life as pleasingly deceptive as possible, while one avoids at all cost exercising one's potential for rational analysis, since that invariable cuts throught the surface crap to reveal the horrible moral rot beneath. For example, says Swift, "Last week I saw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe how much it altered her person for the worse." Yeah, much better to hum along with John Lennon's "Imagine" and to live in a yellow submarine.
04:38 PM on 03/06/2011
I'm sick of seeing HuffPost chalk full with comments like these. It's pretty easy to pack a post with a lot of buzz words (China, decline, etc.) that go along with the prevailing attitudes of insurmountable pessimism. Maybe the reality is that the economic status of this country before the recession was actually bad for us, bloated and unsustainable, and the pain we are currently enduring will do us good in the end.
That's not to say millions of people being in debt and out of work is a good thing, but most economic forecasts show us making up most if not all of the ground lost in the recession in the next 5-10 years. Your claims are nothing new or unique, and are not backed up by a majority of scientific economic forecasts.
Also, when you mention India and China, you should consider that there is a great big world outside of the United States, and greater economic prosperity for billions of other people is good, despite a minimal (yes, minimal) inconvenience to most Americans who are accustomed to getting what they want, when they want, and getting a large portion of it on credit.
My point here is that many facts can be spun to fit any view of reality, and bombarding an internet comment board with ^^ all that does more to back up the thesis of the article that you are attempting to criticize. Does writing all that drivel make you feel smart?
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
03:06 PM on 03/06/2011
First of all, Mr. Radnor, thank you for articulating something that has been bugging me for most of my life. I don't mind dark. I don't mind dysfunctional. I DO mind saying that this is all that this could be. The bits of joy, grace, and happiness are available just as much as anything else. We're just no longer encouraged to find them.

I take a slight issue with the bit about there being a few billion "realities" with each human being. That is true up to a point, but looking at the entertainment over the centuries, especially the stuff that still speaks to a 21st Century audience, I notice certain themes, moralities, and parameters showing up over and over again. It speaks to certain universal realities that we would be foolish to ignore.
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02:46 PM on 03/06/2011
It's just 'movies' and will not change the moral compass of the U.S./world but as an art form or something we do for enjoyment or even learniing, the dark, porn, sad, porn ......is w/out merit. With dvds at the beck & call of anyone, any age who can get netflix, images of love & respect do the world a lot of good. As a leftie who's backed family programming for years, I love your philosophy & know it would bode well for increased movie attendance. As you say, in pseudointellectual land this point of view is dissed.
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02:09 PM on 03/06/2011
Fair enough.

I haven't seen the movie yet but my friends who saw the movie liked it.
01:21 PM on 03/06/2011
Your philosophical approach to film making is all well and good - trying to find some hope in a seemingly hopeless situation/story is a worthy goal. Many great filmmakers - I think of Vittorio De Sica - have managed to cross that bridge in an artful and heartbreaking way. However, this doesn't, necessarily, make you a good filmmaker. It doesn't make you more enlightened than those whose films end on a sad note or those whose films are nothing but a two hour celebration of all that is cynical and bleak.

The point I am trying to make is that your theory about what makes a more worthy film and your actual practical application of that theory are two separate things. You could be an optimist and have that as your credo as a filmmaker and yet botch it in the execution.

I have always found that good filmmakers are good, whether they offer hope or none of it. When the final frames of film fade away and the credits start rolling, I've always been more impressed and moved by honesty and realism then a pre-determined philosophy that all a given filmmakers films have to end with hope or no hope. That's irrelevant. The most important question is are you being true to the story and characters? Are you looking at them with eyes wide open and mind fully engaged and ready to look under every rock for the truest representation of the world you are creating?
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artleads
Let's have a national retreat.
03:49 PM on 03/06/2011
I was most impressed with the philosophy and intelligence of the article. And then I read your comment, which I found equally impressive. You appear to be talking about art rather than philosophy, and that is not something that should be missed. Fanned.
02:07 PM on 03/07/2011
Thank you for the kind comments, artleads. Fanned, as well.