To my fellow men:
It's time to bring forward some reasoned arguments against the wave of "evidence" and public opinion claiming that meat is unhealthy, unethical, and unattractive. The next time you're being bullied by the carrot mobs, give them a spoonful of sloppy joe and the following five reasons why you've made the choice (it's a free country!) to keep on eating 222 pounds of meat a year.
1. Fecal Soup.
99 percent of chickens take a long, cold bath in massive tanks of water and communal feces before their meat leaves the slaughter plant. The chicken industry literally calls it, "fecal soup." Here's the cool thing: A small, but now extinct tribe of men in Burundi believed that inhaling chicken crap gave them "special" powers. We could have those powers. And the USDA legally requires companies to indicate what percentage of their chicken meat is infused with crap water. Unfortunately, the law doesn't allow for more than 11 percent liquid absorption. The next time you buy chicken, just look closely at the small print on the bottom-right of the package. Anything over 5 percent should be enough to give you superhuman qualities.
2. Sex.
You'll get it less. Mostly because eating lots of meat (read: inhaling cholesterol) has been linked in study after study to impotence. And the first blocked artery in men is usually pumping blood to, yep, the penis. If you think strategically, though, your impending arousal issues should mean that you'll become even more irresistible to your partner. The "hard to get strategy" worked with your last two ex-girlfriends, right? It's time to bring that same strategy to the bedroom. Side note that you should probably keep to yourself: Erectile dysfunction is the canary in the coal mine for heart disease.
3. Strength.
Modern women aren't attracted to men that challenge stereotypes, have the strength to act in alignment with their deepest values, and live with compassion and integrity. And the fact is that women just dig men who see clips of defenseless mother pigs stuffed in crates so small that they can't turn around, and then blurt out, "But, I love me some bacon!" It's a turn on. Go ask them.
4. Salt.
Eating lots of meat will make your "stuff" smell like a decomposing -- but salty -- pig carcass. The digestion of animal protein creates a dumpster-like bacterial environment, giving your girl that, "Did I just throw up in my mouth?" taste. See, the less a woman is interested in all that down there, the more satisfying it'll be the two times a year (read: your birthday and Valentines Day) that she's brave enough to give it a try. Common sense dictates another strip of bacon on that BLT.
5. Sympathy.
Colon cancer has been linked to slurping down red and processed meats, presumably related to the armies of nitrates swimming around in every bite. And "vegetarians have the lowest rates of coronary heart disease of any group in the country," said Dr. Castelli, director of the longest-running study of diet and heart disease in the world. What should all that "science" mean to you? In romantic relationships, the sympathy card is always a winner. And getting sick means lots of it. Expect more massages and more home cooked breakfasts -- a silver lining, even if you're crapping blood.
Strap on a pair, and enjoy your dinner.
Follow Josh Tetrick on Twitter: www.twitter.com/joshtetrick
"Plant-based diet. No, you don't need to become a vegetarian, but do bump up your intake of fruits and veggies."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-buettner/how-to-live-to-100---nine_b_94972.html
'Plant-based diet' is disingenious when referring to the Sardinians, Costa Ricans and Okinawans anyway, as they are nowhere near vegetarians or vegans. They fish, beef and other meats in moderate amounts & plenty of veggies.
The most important factor in longevity and health, is practicing eating til 80 % full. This is what factors in on them eating 25 % less than Americans overall, which has ZERO to do with consuming a vegeterian or vegan diet. If you are vegeterian, you can eat tons of processed fake meats, grains and nuts, which are very calorie dense. The only way to ensure you consume less calories, is upping your intake of nutrient dense, low calories veggies, which is an important factor of a healthy omnivore diet anyway.
They are also more active, walking everyday, which is not a 'vegetarian' attribute as well.
I'ts easy to gloss over the truth with a sweeping statement like 'plant based diet' to suit your vegetarian agenda, while deliberately failing to mention, every culture does indeed consume an omnivore diet.
Notably, Sardinian cuisine is largely based in skewered meats, seafood, and sheep's milk cheese.
Funny that so many vegangelicals seem to think that eating meat means forgoing vegetables, which is absurd. I adore vegetables. I can't even think of one that I don't like. And I grow vegetables. And I have worked with the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project to help teach people how to cook dishes made from locally grown vegetables.
If we all followed his advice, we'd be healthier, live longer, and do an enormous service to the planet. - Josh
1. “One of the problems with both the meat eating world AND the vegan world is that they don’t want to hear any science that they don’t agree with.” Dr. Gabriel Coesens
2. That said, I don't understand the animosity with which some of the "meat world" has responded to this article. Why don't you appreciate some good creatie writing??? Regular scientific articles are dry and Josh puts a twist on an issue that is important to him (& should be to everyone) that make them informative & entertaining.
3. Josh gets negative comments from people all the time, which comes w/ territory of being a writer & proponent on a controversial subj. Not just here, but on other forums too. Unlike some of the readers here (ahem, elcerritan), he has maintained a courteous & respectful tone to all at all times, so the venemous tones are inappropriate & one-sided.
BASICALLY....
* If you want to throw punches, join a gym.
* Googling "debunking China Study" & reading what shows up doesn't prove anything. It was JUST recommended to me TODAY by a world-renowned doctor who heals diabetes w/a vegetarian diet in DC....That's like saying, "The government will warn us if we need to worry about radiation from Japan." You'll always find/hear what you want to hear.
* Act like an adult. Unless you are < 17. Then maybe you should read PG-13 articles.
Good night.
Come down off your high horse. Contrary to your completely unwarranted aspersions, elcerritan is not some childish young person that substitutes googling for real knowledge. She is an accomplished, intensely knowledgeable person with a developed grasp of complex issues surrounding sustainable agriculture and the essential importance of animals in food systems, that occasionally gets frustrated with childish, misguided nonsense such as the snarky and inappropriate article above.
PS - if you had read it carefully (instead of with whatever ridiculous anger is circling in your head), you might have realized I was referring to his COMMENTS as courteous and respectful. And NOTHING I said was untrue and can hardly be considered slanderous....so while you are rereading #3, do another quick check on the definition of aspersion. Not applicable.
PPS - I don't have a horse. You can't in my neighborhood. I'm considering a spider monkey though.
Fact is, more than half of all vegans have been shown to have severe B12 deficiencies, which is a health nightmare. As opposed to less than 1/2 of 1% of omnivores. And that's why it is also not surprising that numerous studies have shown that vegans and vegetarians have much higher rates of elevated homocysteine, which is a major indicator of heart disease. And vegans have significantly lower bone density.
Whats more, the largest population of vegetarians in the world is India, which also happens to be the heart disease capital of the world and the diabetes capital of the world. In fact, it is so bad that the World Health Organization has now predicted that more than half of all of the heart attacks in people under 50 on the entire planet will now happen in just one single country.... India! And that's what you are shooting for?!? Good luck with that.
Actually, more than one study has found that more than half of all vegans have severe B12 deficiencies at levels likely to cause permanent damage. The numbers are far too damning to explain away as statistical anomalies. I am happy to share. Here are two of them; both peer reviewed studies published in major journals:
http://www.nature.com/ejcn/journal/v64/n9/abs/ejcn2010142a.html
and
http://www.ajcn.org/content/78/1/131.full
Maybe it is time for you to rethink the anti-meat rhetoric that you are constantly pushing here.
I am sorry but it is just so damned delicious. There is no way I would ever willingly give up well marbled steaks, slow smoked brisket or pork butt, the wonderful world of charcuterie, sushi, crab claws, lobster tails, shrimp, and any number of other treats from the land and the sea.
I buy my steaks from a local organic farm and try to source things as best I can, but I would certainly not begrudge someone for not doing that as it is a damned expensive way to eat.
1) All diets cause animal deaths.
2) It's not difficult to find meat or animal products from humanely raised animals.
I supose we will all die of something but I hold with the writer since meat eaters are generally less healthy in the long run.
What I would really like to know is: If there is a group of starving meat-eating people would they eat each other quicker if they are meat-eaters?
big mistake.
"A step" towards living "our" values? Speak for yourself and stop trying to project what "our" values should be. I already live my values and I eat meat. It doesn't come from factory farms and there's absolutely nothing about where it comes from or how it's produced that's in any way antithetical to my values and I suspect the same is true for Dan Minardi. I don't know about Dan, but I think your patronizing tone is insufferable.
And by the way, Josh, referring to several of the items in your article: there are no "nitrates swimming around" in unprocessed red meat, and if you think women aren't interested in men who eat meat, you don't know enough women. This whole article sounds as if its intended audience is a bunch of sexually insecure adolescent boys. Lame.
Here's an idea, eat what we evolved to eat. That means meat and vegetables. Stay away from processed garbage like flour, sugar/hfcs, pasta and highly preserved foods and guess what? You'll be healthy, lean and just fine in the sack. While I appreciate the tongue in cheek presentation, you might consider more science and less glib repartee about peoples health