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What Kind of Life Are You Creating for Yourself?

Posted: 01/02/11 11:52 AM ET

"I am seeking the fullest expression of myself as a human being on Earth."
--Oprah Winfrey

Can you even begin to imagine if each and every one of us lived our lives with deep commitment to such a lofty vision? Why don't we? What do we make more important than manifesting our fullest expression?

It is easy to dismiss Oprah's success based on her vast fortune and to say, "Well, I could do great things with all that money, too!" But remember, Oprah started out as a poor, black girl in rural Mississippi, born to unwed, teenaged parents. Her early years were spent at her grandmother's farm with no indoor plumbing or electricity. Then she lived with her mother in Milwaukee, where she was sexually abused by several male relatives and began to act out as a troubled young teen. Next, she lived with her father in Nashville, and his stern discipline gave her the guidance and stability she apparently needed to flourish. She began to excel in school and by 19 had a part-time job as a radio reporter in Nashville. The rest, as they say, is history.

Even if any of us could argue that we have faced bigger challenges than Oprah, the question remains, "What are you doing with your life?" What is your contribution? What kind of relationships do you have with yourself and others? How do you give of yourself?

Each of us is born, we breathe in and out for an unspecified period of time and then we die. That's life. Each of us has our very own set of challenges, preferences and capabilities. What are yours, and what are you doing with them? Do you use them as excuses for failure or do you leverage them into greater wisdom and success?

As each new year arrives, many of us take stock of where we are in our lives and what changes we want to make. I am always amused to see how packed the gym is for the first few days of January and then how it gets back to normal in a week or two. It seems that the mere fact that it is a new year fails to provide sufficient momentum in most people to make substantive changes in their lives.

Having been raised Catholic, I am familiar with the experience of coming out of the confessional and feeling like I have a clean slate and wanting to keep it that way. Each new year has always had a similar feeling for me of starting anew, having yet another chance to direct myself through the trials and triumphs of life and wanting to lift myself up higher.

I used to work in strategic planning and learned to view the assets of any individual or organization as people, money and time. I now apply this perspective to myself in managing my own life. As I stand on the threshold of a new year, I am me and all that that encompasses. I have the money I have, no more and no less, and I have another allotment of 8,760 hours to do with as I will. The name of the game, as I see it, is to stay conscious of who I am, what I have and where I am going, and to be open to the possibilities that present themselves. I don't make New Year's resolutions or go to big New Year's parties. Most years, I choose to spend New Year's Eve alone using the vantage point of ending one year and starting a new one to pause and take a good look at my life. My ritual involves the following:

  • Experience gratitude for the gifts and lessons of the past year. Be grateful for new and existing friends, personal and professional accomplishments, wisdom gained, lessons learned, new skills and abilities and storms weathered.
  • Acknowledge losses. As life marches on, we lose jobs, friends and family, lovers and partners. For each loss, I like to look at how that job or person enriched my life, how we parted ways -- whether by death or discord -- and how I am better for having had that experience or person in my life.
  • Review last year's intentions and compare them to what transpired over the past year. Notice whether or not the intentions were realistic based on the information known when they were made. What surprises showed up? What was being ignored?
  • Set clear intentions for what to create, promote or allow in the coming year. Knowing that life will be full of surprises, I like to set clear but flexible goals for the coming year. I frame them more as affirmations of what I choose to claim as my possibilities with a clear intention to do my best to manifest them rather than setting New Year's resolutions that carry an expectation of not coming true.

As captain of my own little ship on the sea of life, I get to choose my way through the opportunities and challenges that come my way. I do my best to keep on track or to revise my intentions as needed. It's a living, breathing process, not a rigid goal that must be achieved. I also have an overarching vision or purpose to which I am dedicating my life. This helps to guide my choices and to inform my life each and every day.

How did you celebrate and honor the coming of the new year? What are your rituals?

I wish each and every one of you a happy, healthy and fulfilling new year of 8,760 hours. I hope you will use your allotment well for the highest good of all concerned. And finally, my best wishes to Oprah as she leads OWN, her new television network, which launched yesterday, Jan. 1, 2011, at noon. Her mission is to help unleash the power of human potential by providing mindful, not mindless, television that helps people live their best lives. Thank you, Oprah!

***

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at judithjohnson@hvc.rr.com. You can also Retweet this post, share it on Facebook, or e-mail it to friends who may enjoy it. To learn more about me, visit my website, www.judithjohnson.com. For information on my future blogs, click on "Become a Fan" at the top of this page.

 
 
 
"I am seeking the fullest expression of myself as a human being on Earth." --Oprah Winfrey Can you even begin to imagine if each and every one of us lived our lives with deep commitment to such a lof...
"I am seeking the fullest expression of myself as a human being on Earth." --Oprah Winfrey Can you even begin to imagine if each and every one of us lived our lives with deep commitment to such a lof...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
couer
09:01 PM on 01/06/2011
Well, ......ummmm..........."Can you even begin to imagine if each and every one of us lived our lives with deep commitment to such a lofty vision? Why don't we? What do we make more important than manifesting our fullest expression?"

Who are you trying to reach? I got it, but ...blech... really?? You bored me right away...Speak to the issue. "What Kind of Life Are you Creating for Yourself?" Wow, Oprah, is a great example... over and over again...... lofty vision? Are you kidding?

I apologize but just say flat out, if you want to create a life for yourself, slow down, take a breath, and when in doubt, don't do anything. You'll know when it's right to make a move.
11:19 PM on 01/05/2011
This is a terrific article, very inspiring to individuals like myself who tend to procrustinate and blame lack of opportunity for failing to reach for personal goals.
Also goals are not necessarily monetary, fulfillment can be achieved through spirituality, loving family and friends as well as charitable works.
The article was ruined by the praises to Oprah at the end of the article. Telling her story at the begining is inspirational though.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
KathleenQYD
www.QuintessentialYouDesign.com
03:31 PM on 01/04/2011
Like you, at the launch of a new year, I love to spend time in reflection of the year gone by and the one about to begin. There is a seeing of oneself in doing this and an opportunity to come to deeper understanding of how the life I am living is unfolding. For me, rather than doing this simply from the content of my circumstances and wants, I go the Blueprint of my Being which offers me a rich context beyond my earthly needs and wants. www.QuintessentialYouDesign.com
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LifeChangeStartsNow
I am love, discernment, confident, resourceful, as
01:33 PM on 01/04/2011
Happy new year to you Judith.

Each year I seem to discover a new ritual when I'm not travelling. I celebrated the new year by developing my personal life mantra with Chloe Taylor Brown - it took 4 hours but it was worth writing down 25 words that describe you - 15 that others say about you and 10 that you use to describe yourself and then put it into a coherent phrase. You must have a dictionary handy to check the meaning of each word to verify if it's truly describes you.

For example, people have told me for years that I was courageous. It's not true. I am strong not brave. So by working with the dictionary on all the synonyms for courage, I ended up with the word Assertive instead which I definitely am. Fabulous process!

This was the end result of my 2010 review and the numerous lessons learned - it was some year! Now, we are in a new and infinitely abundant one so I wish you all that you wish for yourself Judith.

Catherine
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littlepuffycloud
I propose a toast to my self control...
02:10 PM on 01/03/2011
8,760 hours doesn't sound like very long..
01:04 PM on 01/03/2011
Judith,
Thank you for the thoughtful article. I like the framing you used. We have a similar process that we have been doing for many years. We review the year and our previous year’s process, and then spend time writing about:
- Acknowledgments and Appreciations,
- Regrets and Goodbyes,
- Hopes and Intents.
We share them and add any new thoughts we got from listening. And finally, we write a brief combined intent for the year, make it into a small art piece, and place it on our altar for the year (so we can review it often).

People here may be interested in these essays as well.
Our January essay is on being happier in the New Year (highlights from The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky):
www.create-the-good-life.com/happier_new_year.html
And here’s an essay on our general approach to designing your life for well being, yours society, and the planet:
www.create-the-good-life.com/slow_life_design.html

Happy New Year Everyone!

Eric Storm
www.Create-The-Good-Life.com
06:20 AM on 01/03/2011
Good stuff!
05:53 AM on 01/03/2011
Very nice post.
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farmilyman
everything is illusion
05:48 AM on 01/03/2011
I wish conservatives could get out of their bubble and read stuff like this.
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
06:43 AM on 01/03/2011
I agree but conservatives don't. Ms Johnson is talking about taking effective accountaiblity over our own lives; conservatives don't really look for accoutability so much as they look for pre-packaged plans to follow.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Eileenla
Author, "Sacred Economics"
12:30 AM on 01/03/2011
Lovely article. Gratitude for what we have, acceptance of where we are and a willingness to bring forth the best we can become make for a happy life.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Damiano Iocovozzi MSN NP
10:57 PM on 01/02/2011
Thank you, Dr. Johnson for another well-thought out article. Positive thinking and dwelling only on the positive blinds one to being able to think critically. Critical thinking skills are a plus in this world because one can comprehend, analyze, synthesize and apply new ideas. In this age, most of us who use critical thinking are perceived as negative and downers. I often perceive many as terribly fearful to think about anything critically because it brings them down or are afraid to be perceived as being negative. Adults don't need bromides or platitudes to get them through the bad times. Mature adults find cheerleaders often incapable of real empathy or understanding. The balance of the beautiful and the tragic is delicate, like walking a tight rope. The mature adult grows strong with critical thinking, understanding the importance of events or their trivialities. We all suffer through this life experience.Oprah used adversity to turn her life around, actualize herself, feel appropriately and live empathically. A Polyanna cannot speak with authority or gravity on anything, nor is perceived by others as a mature adult. Perhaps it is the suffering that Oprah has endured that turned her into a woman of steel, capable to do real good in the world, regardless of what others think of her.
06:38 PM on 01/05/2011
I couldn't agree more.

I'm not sure Oprah is the best example to use. Someone who achieves fantastic, mind-boggling success, like Oprah, Michael Jackson, the Beatles, Bill Gates; for lack of a better word are, I feel, destined to do so. Why does someone, like Oprah who had such a bad upbringing go on to fame and fortune while Charlie Manson, Ed Gein, Aileen Wuornos, and how many millions of others with similar backgrounds end up as they do. Yeah, personal choice and responsibility and all that plays its part, but I think there is something else at work.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jeanne Ball
Teacher of meditation, David Lynch Foundation
09:43 PM on 01/02/2011
Thank you for reminding us that we each have the power to navigate our lives through all the ups and downs, loss and gain and create our own destiny. It is a tradition in our home to take a day of silence. While everyone else is out celebrating, we go inward and start the New Year by fasting and meditating. It is a time of pause, renewal and reconnecting to the deepest part of our selves— a great way gain momentum for the New Year.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DustyMills
A liberal tree-hugging Oregonian...
09:34 PM on 01/02/2011
I've learned over the years just how powerful the mind is. During good times and bad, I have always had many responsibilities, some came easy to me, others were physically hard. I always got through the tough times by continually telling myself, "I can do this, I can do this...." and I always got accomplished what I needed to. I still do this little exercise, even for mundane or easy tasks.....it can help move things along quickly.

I have tried to teach my children how to use this tool to get done what they need to, it's really just mental perseverance......we all can achieve more if we believe we can.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
D. A. Wolf
Writer, Daily Plate of Crazy
07:41 PM on 01/02/2011
A very thoughtful article. I also use the new year to assess, leaning toward shifts in attitude, behavior or actions rather than the traditional resolution approach.

Beyond our focus on our contributions large and small, I think we need to give thought to the environment (and world) we are creating for our sons and daughters through what we do, say, and don't do and say. We accept lower standards too easily, and an interpretation of success and failure that is about winning and losing rather than gaining knowledge, experience, emotional intelligence versus staying stuck.

Perhaps in the new year we can look to model examples of perseverance and character - not just the more "tangible" output of our labors.

http://dailyplateofcrazy.com/2010/09/08/permission-to-fail-i-dont-think-so/
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07:27 PM on 01/02/2011
Too many of those hours are already used up with work that pays less every year, and sleep and boring chores. Also, I have a lot of projects going, and if I knew which one was going to be THE ONE, I would know to devote my time and energy to it, but as I don't know I suppose I will spend another year floundering about doing some of that and a little of this. But this year I have Netflix, so that's good.