Our world is in the midst of an emotional meltdown. People are restless, volatile, our tempers about to blow. Recently, a riveting Newsweek cover story, "Rage Goes Viral" described how from Tunisia to Egypt a wave of rage is rocking the Arab world to create revolutions. Then there are the talk radio ranters, congressional incivility, and domestic terrorists such as the Arizona shooter. Rage is also prevalent in our daily lives: There's road rage, office rage, supermarket rage, and even surfer's rage. Why is rage so rampant? What is the solution?
In my book, "Emotional Freedom" I explore the differences between "good" and "bad" anger. Anger can be a healthy reaction to injustice such as cultures fighting to free themselves from repressive regimes. Anger rallies people. It creates energy and motivation to rebel against dysfunctional political or social systems. It also motivates groups to go on strike say, for higher, well-deserved wages or to defend human rights. On a personal level, anger can be good if it's expressed in a focused, healthy way rather than using it as a weapon to punish or hurt others.
Your Body's Reaction To Anger
As a psychiatrist, I know that anger is intensely physical and can come from a primal place. Let's say a colleague double-crosses you in a business deal. You feel angry. Your amygdala (the emotional center in the brain) stimulates adrenaline. You get an energy rush that rallies you to fight. Blood flows to your hands, making it easier to grasp a weapon. Your heart pumps faster. You breathe harder. Pupils dilate. You sweat. In this hyperadrenalized state, aggression mounts. You may raise your voice, point accusingly, stare him down, grimace, flail your arms around, verbally intimidate, barge into his personal space. Taken to an extreme, you could literally be driven to knock him out or beat him up. In a pure survival-oriented sense, you want to dominate and retaliate to protect yourself and prevent further exploitation. Anger is one of the hardest impulses to control because of its evolutionary value in defending against danger.
What factors make us susceptible to anger? One is an accumulation of built-up stresses. That's why your temper can flare more easily after a frustrating day. The second is letting anger and resentments smolder. When anger becomes chronic, cortisol, the stress hormone, contributes to its slow burn. Remaining in this condition makes you edgy, quick to snap. Research has proven that anger feeds on itself. The effect is cumulative: each angry episode builds on the hormonal momentum of the time before. For example, even the most devoted, loving mothers may be horrified to find themselves screaming at their kids if they haven't learned to constructively diffuse a backlog of irritations. Therefore, the powerful lesson our biology teaches us is the necessity of breaking the hostility cycle early on, and that brooding on the past is hazardous to your well-being.
For optimal health, you must address your anger. But the point isn't to keep blowing up when you're upset, rather, it's to develop strategies to express anger that are body-friendly. Otherwise, you'll be set up for illnesses such as migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, or chronic pain, which can be exacerbated by tension. Or you'll keep jacking up your blood pressure and constricting your blood vessels, which compromises flow to the heart. A Johns Hopkins study reports that young men who habitually react to stress with anger are more likely than their calmer counterparts to have an early heart attack, even without a family history of heart disease. Further, other studies have shown that hostile couples who hurl insults and roll their eyes when arguing physically heal more slowly than less antagonistic partners who have a "we're in this together" attitude.
Still, repressing anger isn't the answer either. Research also reveals that those who keep silent during marital disputes have a greater chance of dying from heart disease or suffering stress-related ailments than those who speak their minds.
Here are some strategies from "Emotional Freedom" to productively cope with anger in daily life.
Four Tips To Diffuse Anger
The goal with anger is to own the moment so this emotion doesn't own you. Then you can mindfully respond rather than simply react. You'll have the lucidity to be solution oriented and therefore empower how you relate to others.
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Health Costs Of Anger - Anger Management, Anxiety Attacks & Social ...
Anger Effects on Your Heart: Heart Disease, Atherosclerosis, and More
It's a normal human emotion, anger. The problem is how one chooses to deal with the anger!
http://web.me.com/aprilfool56/site/Welcome.html
and cry and cry.
i think about everything in the world and how selfish i am .....to be mad.
it always came back to slap me in the face..
and it destroyed me while i was focused on the useless anger.
i fight for rights, when i am wronged ..etc.. i realize there is no sense in anger..
(complex, lots of long stories) C'est la vie..
I cannot live a life propelled forward by anger. And yes, I often fight the "good fight", but I do so out of love, not anger.
Mary896 did not say anything about chaos.
Neither did she say that she is "without faults".
She also said nothing about blame.
In fact, she actually complimented Judith on the article and in case you missed that, it went like this:
Great advice. Now to get the hubby to read and follow it....
No need to judge others by your yardstick because you definitely sound like an ex or soon-to-be.
And have a very grateful day today...
Cheers
if you don't care it won't bother you. it sounds like desensitization, but actually what i advocate is more like selective use of your emotions. my belief is we all have a finite fund of emotion and that we shouldn't "waste" feeling on that which doesn't merit it and should instead concerve our emotional energy for optimal self and mutual benefit.
it actually can work to sensitize you since if anything your emotions become "truer" to your real self and you're emotionally "scattering" yourself less in the ways you've been conditioned and more in the ways that work for you and the others in your life.