How to Avoid the Holiday Blues

The holidays are often a time when folks complain of feeling down or blue. These feelings are real, but most of the time, they are mild and temporary -- not true symptoms of clinical depression. When people are clinically depressed, on the other hand, they have many of the following symptoms which they experience for almost the entire day, every day for at least two weeks: They most definitely have a depressed mood or experience a diminished loss of interest or pleasure. They might lose or gain weight (without trying to) or notice that their appetite has drastically changed; they might have trouble sleeping and feel restless or unable to concentrate; or they might sleep too much, feel slowed down, fatigued, and lethargic. They might feel worthless or have feelings of guilt, and even experience recurrent thoughts of death. These are symptoms that likely require treatment from a mental health professional. They are not holiday blues.

But what about those mild, downhearted feelings that do occur, for some people, around the holidays? Here's some advice to help you avoid the blues:

• Maintain realistic expectations and relinquish the idea that you must partake in every holiday ritual.
• If you attend parties (and especially family get-togethers), aim to have a good time, not necessarily a great time -- otherwise, you're likely to feel disappointed. Remember, the notion that holidays ought to be the best times of the year is just media hype.
• Stick with your routines, including eating, drinking and sleeping habits. If you over do it and then skimp on your usual exercise, you'll just end up feeling heavy, bloated, and tired.
• Make a budget for spending and avoid trying to buy perfect gifts. You'll feel better knowing you didn't rack up your credit card bill.
• Try not to expect to receive perfect gifts, either. Again, you'll just end up feeling disappointed.
• Consider making a donation to your favorite charity in celebration of your family and friends instead of traditional gift-giving.
• If you feel down, call a friend who has a knack for uplifting conversations; make some plans together.
• Finally, volunteer -- help someone who is less fortunate than you. It's almost certain to help you feel good about yourself.

 

 

 

Follow Judith S. Beck, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/beckinstitute

Comments

[Todd G Chavey]

01:23 AM on 12/11/2011

Once one realizes the true meaning of Christmas that it does not revolve around gifts,decorating, parties, shopping and Christmas tree, but it is about the birth of Jesus Christ, one can relax and not feel lost during or after the Holidays. Pretty simple.

[snbmcn]

10:41 PM on 12/10/2011

Over the years, we have "celebrated" every Christmas a little less than we did the year before--first, getting rid of the tree, then reducing other decorations, then scaling back on gift giving, etc. At this point, our observance is minimal, and I feel more liberated than ever--from stress, debt, depression, and fatigue. There is no law that says everyone has to have a Hallmark, Norman Rockwell Christmas. Do what feels best for YOU, not what anyone else tells you that you're supposed to do and feel.

[Margaret Erickson]

09:59 PM on 12/10/2011

I just live for January 1st to get here....

[Bertrand T Russell]

08:56 PM on 12/10/2011

I live in Florida..... I like to try to get a swim in on Christmas day........... Take in some rays & have a couple of drinks around the pool with some friends.........

[ginocat55]

08:41 PM on 12/10/2011

Drink a quart of Jack Daniels

[tlvailco]

08:38 PM on 12/10/2011

This will be the first Christmas since my divorce. So far it has been pretty good, I've learned what to expect at Thanksgiving. I had a little sad feeling but my family and friends where here for me. For that I am so thankful. Also, Yoga has been helpful. My children are happy, they have two Christmas trees LOL

Hang in there everyone, don't forget to lean on friends, neighbors, family,,, anyone really. Smile at people as you walk down the street or pass someone in a car. Merry Christmas

[teddibear2]

07:20 PM on 12/10/2011

Hi everyone: As we get older we do a lot of things different. I wish I had my energy back. I have been divorced for 39 years. I have had a significant other for 20 years. It's like playing a game to see how the day will go without an argument. I would like to move from this cold area to a warmer place. If so, I will be going alone. I guess in my middle 60"s, I can do that. This year, I didn't want to put up decorations because of the wars to get them up & down. I sold most of them that I really loved---but I can't stand the arguing. I have a small family that doesn't get along all the time. A 94 yr. old mother in assisted living that has caused the family not to get along. Things have changed a bit since she went to the center. My sister & I have not spoken much in 9 yrs. now we do, but we've lost all that time. All bad stuff seems to catch up & pile up during the holidays. I guess we just have to keep moving on---there's always another birthday!!!! I have 1 get together with the girls. maybe 1 family dinner. Enough. Just out out a few decorations---can't seem to live without them. All in all---everyone please have all good days!!!

[jswendner]

06:31 PM on 12/10/2011

GOOD DRUGS HELP A LOT!!

[HowlingHounds]

05:52 PM on 12/10/2011

This list missed one major cause of holiday blues - grown children. Several years ago, I had a daughter-in-law inform me that my son would be expected to spend all holidays with her family and not to include them in any of our plans. My son has never stood up to her on this issue so I'm not going to argue with her.

When our children were young, we always made a point of either alternating holidays with our families or inviting everyone to our home so nobody was left out and hurt. Times have changed and the "entitled generation" doesn't think about family like we used to.

[isisreptiles]

06:57 PM on 12/10/2011

That's so very sad that your son won't stand up to his wife on this issue. Maybe one day he will realize the unfairness of it and do something about it. It's especailly unfair if there are grandchildren involved.

I remember growing up, my father expected my mother to spend ALL holidays with his family, the only exception being if his family didn't have anything going on. It made me sad that she never stood up to him, even if it meant going to her family events without him. They eventually just stopped inviting us. It would have been nice if I could have experienced how my mother's family did things for holidays.

[annbeaglemom]

05:01 PM on 12/10/2011

The holidays suck when you are completely and totally alone. I try to opt out but it's tough when all of the holiday nonsense is all around, ad nauseum. I feel like crawling in a cave and coming out in, say......March?

[emmasdolly]

04:26 PM on 12/10/2011

The hardest part of the holidays for me was being divorced. It took about 5 years to feel normal again. But it DID get better. Now I enjoy my family and friends and the joy of the season. I don't have the "rushing to both sides of the family" issues that I once did. Christmas for me is making cookies with my granddaughter, decorating and music, dinners with my family, the tree/gifts with my son and his family and being available for whatever friends and fate bring forth. Also, volunteer work with abandoned and neglected animals helps put everything in perspective.

[janehenderson]

01:50 AM on 12/09/2011

As a long term sufferer of depression, I used to find the holiday season particularly difficult. Part of the way I dealt with depression was to establish very rigid routines for sleep, eating and many other aspects of my life, and it was impossible to maintain these routines when I went away over Christmas. I finally found and treated the underlying cause of my depression and now find Christmas much easier to deal with. http://www.gethelpfordepression.info

[livingbettertherapy]

07:08 PM on 12/08/2011

Empowering tips for avoiding the blues during this season Dr. Especially- 1), choosing your attitude beforehand and 2) Compassion through volunteering which makes one feel better by giving life meaning.

Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
Viktor E. Frankl

[averagezoe]

06:36 PM on 12/08/2011

Interesting article. Last year, I let my kid strong-arm me into moving across country so she could go to the grad school of her choice. While she has made friends, I find this town, this state, this entire region so repugnant that I can barely leave the house without feeling nauseous - thankfully, I work from home. I still continue my animal rescue work through a nationwide network and in the meantime, I simply sit and wait for the next 2 1/2 years to be over. So this Christmas, I could put stocking caps on the dogs or tie bows around the cats' necks, but it might not do much to get me in a festive mood. My kid has plans and I have no family in the US, so I'm going to opt for a good book, a good bottle of wine and give my animals some extra special treats. Surely even the holidays will pass quickly if I refuse to acknowledge them, but I won't be depressed.

[Sheldon archer]

06:23 PM on 12/08/2011

The best way is not on your list. Find someone who you love and who loves you and all the other points become meaningless. Took me most of my life to find but for the past nine years I have never felt depressed, unhappy, tired, in a bad mood or anything negative.

[isisreptiles]

09:28 PM on 12/09/2011

That is the best way, but it's a lot easier said than done.